


The Obedience To Evil

by justanotherstar00



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bible references, Blood, Crime Scenes, Dark, Demons, Devil, Evil, Frank/Gerard - Freeform, Frerard, Gay, Gay Sex, Homosexuality, Horror, Humilation, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Possession, Vampires, Vampirism, Vamps, murders, spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:25:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 47,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4969825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherstar00/pseuds/justanotherstar00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank is a 25 years old normal boy, who has his own normal life, but shit gets weird and dangerous when Gerard, Mikey's brother appears in Frank's life. at first everything is alright but then Frank discovers horrible facts about life and finds out that life is nowhere near what he thought it was. He keeps seeing terrible nightmares and feels like something has to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. just a "normal" day

**Author's Note:**

> SUPERNATURAL!!!!! :D supernatural influenced on my fanfic a lot, also Matt, used in this story isn't MCR's former drummer, just making sure and i want to thank my cousin for helping me come up with the idea of this fanfic :D yeah, now enjoy.

 

_"they've promised that dreams can come true_

_but forgot to mention nightmares are dreams too..!"_

> _-Oscar Wilde._

 

 _Dark night._.

in the woods..

Frank was laying on the ground...

The voices of people fighting were everywhere. Everything was covered in blood.

Fighting, killing, voices of people dying, asking for help. It could break your heart. Frank didn’t know what was happening, he was all bleeding, so was the person laying next to him, only inches away from him, touching Frank’s hands and not letting him go. Frank’s neck was bleeding, as if someone had just bitten him. That person, laying next to Frank, was pale, black-haired and he had the knife hit in his heart, all bleeding. Frank suddenly felt how his heart started beating faster when that one person touched Frank's hands, holding them stronger and stronger.

He was dying, that person was dying. He was trying to save Frank and that was why he was dying. Frank didn’t know what was happening but he just knew this. He just knew that he was trying to save Frank with this. He just knew that in case to survive, that person had to die. That was the last thing he wanted to happen but he knew. He was yelling for help but his voice was left in his throat, not coming out of his mouth and then he was suddenly moved away.

Everything faded into black, he could barely see anything. The only thing he could see were the walls of hospital, white ones, people were standing over him, looking at him worried and Frank was still bleeding. Then he felt how something dropped in his stomach and felt how something was tore from him away and he knew someone died, someone who was very important to him, someone who was a huge part of him and he yelled again, the voice didn’t come out of his throat again and he tried again but he failed again. He just wished everything had been happening in his fucking dream and then he woke up.

Frank opened his eyes, shocked and shaking. He was in his room, laying on his bed.

He took a deep breath and looked around. Yeah. It was his room, he moved a little to make sure it was reality and he saw everything in his dream.

“fuck”- he uttered. He was sweating and shaking. He tried to get up but couldn’t, because his dream affected on him so much and so hard. His heart was beating fast. He touched his neck. It wasn’t bleeding at all. Why did he dream of this? There was nothing real there, a fantasy, because Frank couldn’t even recognize the guy laying next to him and bleeding and he couldn’t even get why that man was important to him, a guy who he didn’t even know.

he sighed and tried to calm down. It was just a dream, nothing real. Usually he loved watching horror and it was just a nightmare and probably he saw this because he watched horror last night.

 “fuck”- he gasped again, realizing he was there, in his room, all wet. Still breathing hard. He wiped away sweat from his forehead and tried to stand up but well, he was not ready. He was still thinking of his fucking dream .“okay, calm down Frank” he told himself and sighed again. Last time he had a nightmare he ended up sleeping with one of his friends because he got scared. It wasn’t like Frank was a child, he was twenty five years old. He was not supposed to be afraid of dreams. He always thought it was foolish that dreams were going to come true and affect on your life. Bullshit.

  It was already a morning, he didn’t even remember what happened last night, how he went to bed but he was so nervous that he couldn’t think of the reason of not remembering anything from last night. The pillow was all wet. It was because of Frank sweating. He touched his body and face and felt how wet he was. He didn’t work anywhere so he could sleep all day but he felt so dirty that he decided to get up and take a bath. A cold shower could help him. He looked at the table next to him and tried to reach for the bottle of water on it when his phone rang. He looked around to search for the phone and noticed that the sound was coming from the floor. The phone was under the bed. He hadn’t had any idea of how his phone got there but there was no time thinking of that. He reached for it and answered.

“yeah”- he took a deep breath.

“oh, thank god you answered” someone said, more like, yelled from the phone. It was Bob. His friend.

“oh Bob, what do you want?” Frank asked, he was still breathing hard.

“well, nothing except for the fact that you were supposed to be here this time now” Bob stated, he sounded so ironic.

Frank looked at the clock. It was twelve o’clock.

“oh yeah?” he kind of asking this more to himself than to Bob.

“what, don’t you remember?” Bob couldn’t hide his shock.

“yeah yeah, I do” Frank pretended. “okay, ill..um take a cold shower and ill be there.. um.. in like.. twenty minutes.” Frank replied, He, himself, knew what he said was a great lie because he loved taking a shower so much that he spent hours there.

“okay, we’re waiting” Bob murmured from the phone. Frank heard guys yelling stuff to him from the other side but he couldn’t make the words out and plus he was too lazy to ask what those fuckers were screaming through the phone.

After some minutes, he got up and started to get dressed but his feet were hurting. Maybe that was because of the dream but he let go of this and went to take a shower.

 He was living with his father, James.  His mom was dead, she died when Frank was seventeen, she died in a car accident. At least that was what his father always told him. It was so hard living with only his father because they were two men, a woman is so important in the family. They had to do all the stuff at home, like, cook, wash dishes, wash clothes and all the stuff and it was so hard for them to do. Actually, James loved Frank so much that he couldn’t let Frank move and live somewhere else. Frank didn’t want that himself because he hated being alone. There was nothing worse than living and being alone for Frank.

After he took a shower he got dressed and went out of his room, still feeling sleepy.  James was there. He was writing something.

“oh, hello dad” Frank said , surprised that his father was still home, because he used to be at work this time in the morning. James looked up at Frank, but it wasn’t the usual look he was giving Frank when he greeted, he looked at him the way teachers look at students when they don’t have their homework done. Frank raised his eyebrows in response of that strange look.

“come here, you little bastard” he told Frank. Frank went to him, more like went to fridge to eat something. James was sitting at the table right in front of a fridge.

“why did you drink last night?” James asked and shot Frank a look.

“I.. what?” Frank asked, he stopped searching for food in the fridge and looked at James.  Oh yeah, he drank, that explained a lot. That had to be a reason of why his head hurt so much and why he didn’t remember anything from last night.

“yeah, you know what? Next time you drink im not gonna carry you all the way to your room because you’re too heavy” James muttered and continued writing.

“heavy? But im only like 70 kgs” Frank complained and got a little angry because he didn’t like when someone called him fat.

“exactly, that’s not the weight twenty five years old man should weigh. You’re fat” James laughed. Yeah, that was irony of course. Frank wasn’t fat, James just liked playing with Frank’s nerves because he was always getting angry when someone called him this.

“okay, at least im not fatter than you” Frank bitched , making a fake smile face and muttering something. Then he remembered that he had told Bob that he was going to be at his house in twenty minutes and hour and half had passed after that. He went to the door and took his jacket.

“where are you going?” James asked. Not looking at Frank and not joking anymore.

“at Bob’s” Frank said and went to the door, “oh dad” he suddenly looked back at James as he remembered something. “why aren’t you at work?” he asked. James was always at work this time. Actually he went to work at like nine am and went back late at night.

“I have to do stuff before going to work and it’s like my free day” he answered. Frank didn’t exactly know where his father worked but he never got interested in this. The work was not important for Frank, money was important for him. He didn’t care where James worked, the main thing was that he was bringing money every month.

“well, okay” Frank smirked “and yeah” he continued and cut James off , who was going to say something. “im not gonna drink today” then rolled his eyes as James smiled and went. “be careful” he heard how his father called after him, as soon as he closed the door.

 *

Bob’s house wasn’t that big, it was only two-storied but that was enough for boys to hang out. All they did was listen to some metal and drink. That was their whole life. Frank didn’t even work . he couldn’t. he had tattoos all over his body. The scorpion tattoo he had right on his neck was the main reason of why he couldn’t get the job. Yeah, he tried several times but failed. He was crazy about tattoos, getting tattoos was like his habit. He used to smoke too but barely ever drank. Well, if it was not a special day. He drank the day before because it was his friend Matt’s birthday. They were at Matt’s till like four AM. Frank couldn’t even move, he was too drunk. Boys laughed at him telling him he was too weak to drink.

“okay, you won’t shut up right?” Frank asked angrily, raising his hands and pointing them to shut up already.

“haha, Frank man, you got drunk after drinking like three glasses of wine” Mikey laughed from the other side of the room.  He was sitting at the computer.

“yeah” Ray started,  “and then we had to bring him home man, if you can’t drink, don’t drink” he laughed but then decided it was time to stop because Frank shot him a destructive look.

“im so not on your mood fuckers” he tried to be firm. Well, he failed because he couldn’t help but smile. He sat on the sofa next to Matt, who was playing need for speed in his phone. He was so into the game that couldn’t even hear what guys were laughing about.

“what happened anyway?” Bob asked, while bringing some chips and bear from the kitchen. He looked around and saw Mikey into computer, Matt into the phone and raised his eyebrows at Ray that meant he needed help to carry all the stuff he had in his hands.

“nothing. Just a nightmare, that’s all” Frank replied. He didn’t want to tell his friends about his dream. He simply didn’t want to talk about it because it was frightening him to death. He didn’t know why but it just was. Usually Frank was not scared of dreams because man, they’re just dreams, not reality but this time it was different.

“hey, you here?” Ray asked, waving his right hand at him when he was done putting chips on the table. “man, he’s sick” he concluded.

“no, im not” Frank sighed.  He really wasn’t. it was time to stop thinking about the dream. He had to forget.

“are you okay, Frank?” Mikey asked, getting serious this time.

“yeah yeah, absolutely” Frank pretended and fake-smiled. It looked horrible but he thought he made guys think he was alright, even though he was not and everyone got that.

“okay then” Bob grinned. “now, who wants some beer?”

“not Frank” Ray laughed. Trying to make everything happier. Frank smiled a little.

“so” Mikey started. “Matt, how do you feel? Do you feel old?” he asked and laughed. Hearing this, Matt let go of the phone and shot Mikey a look.

“well, since twenty seven years isn’t old, then no” he replied and raised his eyebrows.

“well, it’s not old but is oldest between us so..” Bob winked at Matt.

“well, fuck you” Matt smiled back. This made Frank laugh a little. What a dork Matt was and what a dork Bob was as well. But that was okay because basically, they were all dorks. Mikey, actually, was the calm one in them, he was like a dorky kid who was getting beaten every time. He was like their little brother.

“you know what?” Matt started then, out of nowhere. “what did you see in your dream Frank?” and turned to Frank who was sitting next to him and playing with his fingers. The game was loading, that was why he looked away from it or otherwise he wouldn’t ask this.

Frank wasn’t really on that mood to explain and even if he had been on the mood, he still wouldn’t explain because he just… couldn’t. so he just said. “lots of blood”.

In fact, blood was not the main problem of the nightmare. It was the feeling it brought to Frank. A strange one, the one of losing someone.

“uh, it’s nothing” Bob started, waving Frank off. “I know, I have a neighbor, a lady, who knows everything about dreams and she said that if you see blood in your dream, it’s not bad, oppos..” and he was cut off by the looks boys gave him. What explanation of dreams, that was crazy and creepy as fuck. Nobody believed that dreams coming true and such things were real.  Bob realized what he was saying and shut up.

“oh, it’s good you got that you were talking bullshit” Ray said and rolled his eyes.” Dreams aren’t coming true actually”

“and you know what?” Frank started, looking at the wall. “im willing to bet my life your neighbor is an old lady” and smiled a little, crossing his hands on his chest.

“how’d you know?” Bob asked and looked at Frank carefully.

“because that’s old lady’s stuff” Frank laughed. Bob muttered something which Frank couldn’t hear so he sighed a little and leaned back in the coach. For some reason, everyone kept being silent. Frank didn’t need it, he needed to talk about stuff not to think about that fucking dream.

 “yesterday I watched a film about vampires” Ray suddenly started. He was sitting at the table, next to Bob. Bob rolled his eyes and looked at him waiting for what he was going to say next. “uh, it was frightening!!” Ray continued and that was where Bob got he didn’t roll his eyes in vain.

“I hope it’s not twilight ok? Cause twilight sucks” Matt uttered from the sofa, still looking down at his phone and being emotional every time a car outstripped.

“No, no, I don’t remember the name but at some point I thought vampires were real” Ray uttered, trying to avoid the looks Bob was giving him.

“Dude!” Frank looked at Ray confused. “you do know and still think they aren’t real right?” he was more like saying this, than asking, cause that was what Ray was supposed to say. Vampires didn’t exist. Frank never believed in them. Well, that’s understandable because who does? Can anyone imagine they have vampires around them? Frank was a normal human being. Of course he loved horror but well, only films, he never thought of them being real and plus, he never thought something like that was going to happen to Frank. He thought it was foolish that someone was going to suck your blood and kill hunger with it, or turn you into a freakin vampire.

“yeah yeah, I know” Ray agreed. “I just thought it for a moment cause it was so real, well, forget it ” Ray waved his hand. Bob gave Frank a look and Frank already knew what was up and smiled under his breath. It was Ray, who always said stupid stuff, like this. Well, it wasn’t that he wasn’t clever, hell no, he was like the cleverest between them but sometimes he used to say stuff that could surprise you to death. Bob shook his head. Then there was Matt, playing computer games for 24/7. That was why he had problems with sight, which he was complaining about every day.

“I think we all need to get happier” Mikey sighed and stood up from the computer table to sit next to them on the coach. He caught Bob’s attention.

“oh yeah?” he raised his eyebrows at Mikey. “did you get bored of internet?” he bitched. Mikey pointed his middle finger at Bob and took a bottle of beer. “why do you always complain about everything?!” Mikey rolled his eyes.

“you know?” Bob started, not caring of what Mikey said and rubbing his fingers on a bottle of beer while staring at it. “I’m so happy that it’s Saturday because I gotta go to work on Monday”

“Mondays suck” Frank sighed and noticed how Mikey muttered “again” quietly but loud enough for Frank to hear it. Frank smiled at that and continued. “I’m so glad I don’t work because I can sleep just as much as I want in the morning” he winked at Bob and raised his eyebrows at him.

“why would you?” Bob asked. “you’re  father’s working” he winked back at Frank after saying this and laughed. Frank made a face and murmured something. But that was truth, wasn’t it? Frank didn’t do a thing except for getting laid, hanging out with his friends, walking and getting tattoos. He couldn’t even feed himself. if there was nothing at home, he could spend the whole day without eating anything. James knew this, so if he had important job to do at work, he was cooking food for Frank and leaving it for him, before he went to work to disappear for some days.

“you know?” Frank started trying to defend himself. “even if I wanted to get a job, nobody would hire me anyway” he finished, proud of what he said because that was a great reason of why he wasn’t working.

“yeah” Ray nodded. “you’ve got tattoos all over your body” and looked at Frank up and down.

“shh! Don’t” Bob uttered. “you’d search for a good job anyway if you really wanted to” he raised his eyebrows, waiting for Frank’s answer.

Frank was quiet for some minutes, not knowing what to say, yeah, there actually were jobs which hired people despite of how many tattoos or piercings they had., realizing this he went all like “fuck you Bryar”

Bob smirked at him. “okay, you win” Frank replied and raised his hands in the air.

“why do you always have to fight guys?” Mikey asked, trying to neutralize the situation, as always. “it’s getting annoying let’s talk about something we all like” he uttered.

Mikey didn’t know which one said it first but he knew that Frank and Bob both were staring at him angrily, telling “fuck you” to him. Mikey sighed. That was it, Frank and Bob both were always bitching to each-other, no matter what, they always had different opinions about things. Not that they didn’t love each-other, they did, that was why they were always teasing one-another.

“two guys died yesterday” Ray said suddenly, looking at TV, he was reminded of news TV said last night. Frank stared at him without saying a word, which meant he had to continue. “near the woods, their throats were ripped off.”

“oh my fuck” Bob uttered, he was amazed actually, things like this started happening nowadays, fuck.

It’s just a tattoo.

Awkward silence for some minutes, the fact that two people died with that horrible death was frightening and… and trembling. Suddenly there was a voice of phone ringing. They all looked around checking if it was theirs.

“oh” Mikey whispered, pressing his hands against his jacket and checking his pockets. “it’s mine”

He took his phone out of his jacket and looked down at it.

The sudden change of look on Mikey’s face surprised Frank and he looked at Bob and Ray who also had noticed that. Bob raised his eyebrows at Frank.

“Jesus Christ” Mikey groaned, not looking away from the phone.

“oh god” they heard someone suddenly shout then. They all looked at Matt.

“someone’s phone is ringing” he continued shouting and making weird movements, leaning forwards and backwards, being so much into that stupid game and  not having any idea of what was happening. “answer it”

“oh god, I will stab him soon” Bob murmured and Frank saw how he shot Matt an angry look. Frank, looking at them, now drew attention to Mikey, who now stood up and went to another room to answer his phone.

“hello?” they heard him say, while he walked through the bathroom and then he closed the door.

Frank sighed. He was still sitting next to “so-into-the-game” kind of Matt. Well, saying this, because Matt used to be different at different times. You couldn’t really make him talk if he was on a bad mood, if he was on a talking mood, you couldn’t ever make him shut up, if he was depressed, he’d cry all day and so on. But if he was on a playing mood, you couldn’t really take a phone or computer or whatever he was playing with from him away. Now that was exactly what was happening.

Frank could barely ever hear what Mikey was saying, or rather, he could hear him talking but couldn’t make out the words. He could see Bob, resting against his chair and looking at the wall sighing. Ray was watching Matt playing and giving him some advices on how to outstrip another car without crashing. He could see Matt’s “fuck off” face because he knew it good enough to need someone to explain it to him.

Ray always acted like their mother. He was always there, judging them if they did something stupid, he always muttered about them not caring about anything, he always complained about them being too reckless. He always fought them and always gave them a lecture when they did something stupid. He especially didn’t like when they got laid and didn’t contact with that girl after that night, he mostly had to fight about this to Frank. Frank was the one loving sex the most between them, he always got laid but didn’t even think about calling that girl or boy, whoever it was, ever again, well, mostly boys didn’t ask for calling them because they were just having fun and so were the majority of girls too but sometimes he had to deal with the stupid women.

Example, Ray was working as a shop assistant like two years ago, and there was a girl who was helping him, like his right hand or something. Well, her name was Victoria as Frank remembered. Boys visited Ray too often and Frank really liked that girl like, from the appearance, not falling in love or stuff. It seemed like that stupid girl liked Frank too back and one day Frank started flirting with her and that was too obvious, boys got what Frank wanted, they knew Frank’s character, he didn’t care of the results, if he liked it, he was going to do it. and there it was, Frank spent that night with that girl and then didn’t even recognize her.. this made that girl angry and started following Frank everywhere he went, telling him she’d tell police about him and complain about rape. That made Frank so angry because who the fuck does that? They just had fun, what was that girl expecting from him? To marry her?

 Yeah, that stupid girl fell in love with Frank. Frank was thanking god every time remembering that night that he had protection, well, saying she wasn’t good at sex would be sin, because it was one of the best sexes Frank had ever had but who needs it like that?

That girl followed him for too long time, until Frank didn’t stop visiting Ray at work, then she started appearing at his house, thank god James wasn’t home and he was gone for like one week, or he was going to be really angry at Frank.

Ray warned him too many times before it was too late because he knew that girl better and knew what she could do and what was she like but Frank wouldn’t listen, he kept flirting with that Victoria until he brought her to his bed. Ray talked to her several times telling to stop following Frank everywhere but she didn’t listen either. She followed Frank until the time, she heard some horrible fact about him.

When she visited him again and knocked on the door Frank opened it half naked. That made her even crazier, seeing Frank like that, and started telling him how she loved him and stuff, until she saw who Frank was with at home.

Until she saw a man standing behind Frank, half-naked.

That was the last time that girl saw Frank, she never contacted him, nor called him again, she even quit her job and went abroad. Poor girl, if you asked Ray. Well, Frank didn’t do this on purpose, he was just having sex with man and that girl came there at very bad time. It was not Frank’s fault right? But everything has it’s own bright side. He finally got rid of her and that made him so happy that he promised himself he was never ever going to get laid like that, with stupid girls. Yeah, he laughed about it now but it wasn’t that funny if you asked him right then.

That was why Ray was always asking him to be careful and think about the results, well, Frank hadn’t changed at all anyways, he still was the bad dude he used to be before. oh how he remembered those times when he was being with beautiful girls at club and Victoria crashing everything. Uh, thank god everything was fucking over.

Frank was deeply in thoughts when he heard the noise of the door closing and it was only then, when he realized he was still being at Bob’s and sitting on the sofa, resting against his arms.

It was Mikey who caused the door close. He still had his phone in his hands, oh yeah, Frank remembered he was talking on his phone in bathroom.

Mikey seemed calm, he caught everyone’s attention and now they were all looking at him. He made his way from bathroom through the table he was sitting at before and sat there carefully, not saying a single word and banging his head against the back of the chair. Bob, who was sitting next to him, still drinking beer, raised an eyebrow at him as a sign to start talking.

Mikey sighed. He looked up at ceiling hopelessly and groaned.

“Mikey, you okay?” Bob frowned. Ray was now crouched next to the chair Mikey was sitting on and was looking at Mikey confused.

“uh” Mikey started. He was still looking at the ceiling, then brought his eyes down and looked at others who were staring at him doubtfully, well, except Matt.

“this happened for the third time today” he said something finally out loud after being quiet for some minutes.

“this what?” Bob raised his eyebrows at him, waiting for an answer. Frank felt how serious Mikey sounded and decided to get away from that douchebag sitting next to him on the sofa and sat next to Bob at the table, refusing to look away from Mikey. Ray had his hand hung on Mikey’s shoulder, rubbing it back and forth there.

“this.. “ Mikey groaned. “I don’t know.. some crazy anonymous is calling me and every freakin time I answer it, nobody’s on the phone.. instead there.. there are.. “ and he broke off.

“there are..?” Frank asked, signing Mikey to go on with his hands.

“I dunno..” Mikey said. “some kind of words I can hardly make out.. like.. ‘you’re dead’, or ‘I’m gonna kill you’ or some craps like this and then.. then sometimes there’s that wild screaming I can’t recognize..” he finished, looking scared.

“meh..” Bob started after some minutes. “I think you shouldn’t be scared of it, because someone’s got to be kidding” he waved off and smiled.

“but I don’t feel like that” Mikey argued.

“don’t worry Mikes..” Frank agreed Bob, god, for the first time ever. “I think it’s nothing, some assholes love kidding like that” he finished and looked at Ray who was looking also terrified as Mikey and wanted to say something. Bob and Frank both knew that Ray was going to start his advices on how careful Mikey had to be and crap and Frank kicked his leg so that Mikey couldn’t see it. Ray looked at Frank confused, Frank just folded his arms and smiled. Ray rolled his eyes and didn’t say his word.

“so.. you think it’s nothing?” Mikey asked doubtfully then and looked at the three of them.

“yeah, pretty much” Bob agreed. “I know once I had a case like that..” and he started talking about how someone was trying to scare him like that but Frank was definitely not listening. They could comfort Mikey, because that was really nothing but what about him? Who could comfort him, telling his nightmare was nothing that scary? Well, nobody, because he could never make it and he could never explain it to them what his fucking dream felt life, what feeling it brought to him, it was rare. He had never felt anything like that.


	2. I Thought you were The light In My life

Well, for better or worse, he had no dreams that night. Frank fell asleep thinking he’d dream of that horrible thing again but nope. Even thinking of that killed him from the inside. It was not that the dream scared him, hell it didn’t, opposite, he loved horror. The thing that scared him was the feeling it left in him, as if something was about to happen, he was going to lose someone important. Usually when you see a nightmare you’re scared, yeah, but you’re scared of something that isn’t real because ghosts and such things don’t exist, Frank knew this too but he, more like, wasn’t “scared”. He was afraid.

When he woke up, James wasn’t there. Maybe he hadn’t come home all night, because the key was right where Frank left it. They had two keys, Frank had one, and James was having the other one. If James had come, he would’ve had replaces keys. So yeah, that day all Frank thought about was his life. And maybe he needed to change something, like, get a job, live for his own. But he was too lazy to do it and even if he tried to get a job, he’d fail because he didn’t really think someone was going to hire him with that scorpion tattoo.

Well, on Monday Ray was going to his work for the first time, he started working as a shop assistant in some fucking shop. Frank liked it.

  _why not?_

There were too many visitors, plus hot, and Frank could flirt with someone, well, to be honest, it didn’t really matter who he had sex with, he could get laid with girls, and boys as well. But if you asked him, he loved getting laid with boys more. He never had a problem about his sexuality, he knew he was bisexual and didn’t hide it from his friends, in fact, his friends knew Frank even better than Frank knew himself. he was a “lazy motherfucker” if you asked Bob, Ray mostly didn’t love when he insulted someone, but sometimes he was out of his mind and very angry at Frank for being so reckless and not thinking about results and doing whatever the fuck he liked and wanted to do. He would always defend his choices and decisions, because they were what he liked and enjoyed and the best thing in him, if you asked Frank, was that he never broke promises. He would always do, no matter what, what he promised. There was no way he would break that. It was in his character and sometimes boys even thought he was a weird person. Acting like this, not caring of anyone but himself, was bad of course but they knew Frank could kill himself if it was about saving his friends. He would do anything for them and he had proven it too many times, what he disliked the most, was when someone lied to him. Sure, he sometimes used to lie, but he didn’t like when they did it to him, funny, huh?

So yeah.. on Sunday he didn’t go out of his house the whole day. James wasn’t home, , he used to disappear like that sometimes. His job was really hard, sometimes he wouldn’t even get home for like months. That was strange, but Frank never got interested in it, therefore never asked anything about it.

Being home alone, sometimes rocked, he could listen to music and do whatever he wanted, but it sometimes sucked. He hated being alone, what he feared of the most, was staying alone, without any friends and… oh… without the love of his life. He never looked at anyone in a serious way, he was twenty fucking five years old already, he had to take care of it. James was always telling him this too but Frank wasn’t trying yet. He always reasoned that he was young and he could do it whenever he wanted. He didn’t say why he was so sure but it was fact, he was pretty, he could be with anyone he wanted. It was no problem for him, he just hadn’t felt that “unicorns and rainbows” feeling yet, when you see everything brighter and are happy about everything.

He was laying on his bed, looking straight at the ceiling. He sighed. Tomorrow he was going to visit Ray at his job, he wondered what Ray looked like in that uniform. God, that was going to be a lot of fun. Oh how he loved to laugh at his friends and play on their nerves, especially Bob. He loved it so much, when he was the actual winner in everything and he was, most of the times. Bob won sometimes, which made him all angry but in the end he was always a loser. Oh, not ever talking about Matt, everyone could see it perfectly how he was depended on fucking internet, he lived in computer and there wasn’t like any game, he hadn’t tried. You could say, he was a gamer, there was no game he hated, he just didn’t like pes 2011 because he couldn’t understand the commentator’s language. Well, maybe he was not going to be at Ray’s work too because he was talking about new simulator game coming out all day.

Frank rolled his eyes and got up a little, so that he was no more laying but sitting on the bed. He looked around, what could he do?

Freakin nothing.

He didn’t have ps. Well, there wasn’t any internet either, neighbor’s wifi? Hells no, because Frank didn’t know the password of it. Windows on his computer was newly changed and he forgot to keep his games on D disk, so, he didn’t even have any games to play offline.

“my life sucks” he whispered quietly and rested against his pillow for some minutes. Those were the last words he said out loud that day, as he put his head on the pillow again, he fell asleep.

He saw many dreams, for example what Ray looked like in  uniform or how he was teasing him and stuff like that, nothing like that fucking dream he saw two days ago. When he woke up, he didn’t even worry about it that much, seemed like he forgot what it felt like to be scared of it and what that strange feeling was like. Maybe it was because many hours had passed after it and because of not thinking of it, or it was really nothing that strange and everyone saw nightmares like that.

Well, he didn’t know. That fact was that it didn’t scare him that much.

He took a cold shower and dried himself with a towel. Then went to eat breakfast, he made coffee for himself and drank it as fast as he could, because he was looking forward seeing Ray so much. Looking around, he remembered he had his phone shut down and turned it on. There was a voicemail from his dad, telling him he couldn’t come home for like two more days and telling him he missed Frank so much and not to worry because he’d be back soon.

Frank smiled a little, his father was really caring. Frank was the only one he had left from his family and he really did everything and worked really hard for Frank. He felt a little guilty for being that lazy, not doing anything or not working anywhere. Maybe he really had to do something but didn’t really know what. No, seriously, he really decided to look for a job and earn some money or his father was going to die from working this hard, especially when Frank was a lot younger and could do everything better than him.

Well, it wasn’t like Frank never worked, he did. He once worked as a tattoo maker, but some asshole blamed him for not doing exactly what he wanted on his arm. Well, in fact he was drunk when he asked Frank to tattoo skulls over his arm, but when he slept and woke up the other day and saw that fucking tattoo over his arms, he started protesting that he asked for something else, and Frank did this. Frank’s boss was a douchebag, he never liked Frank but knew that Frank was a good tattoo maker so never thought of firing him but when he heard this, he decided it was better if Frank left his work.

Frank didn’t really say a thing.  He just left, he didn’t really like it when he asked something to someone.

He worked at several places after that but no success, he was not meant for that and it had been like one year or more, since he hadn’t been working anywhere. But on the other hand, he always had his money because he could sing, so sometimes he sang at concerts or at restaurants and earned money like that. Sometimes, he played online games, like poker or games like that which he could play very well and got money like that. There were endless possibilities he could get money from, so, he was not really depended on his father’s work, but the fact that he didn’t work was really bad.

Uh, if his mother saw how he was living his life, she’d totally be pissed at him for being like that.

“sorry mom” he murmured, while putting on his jacket and opening the door. “but I really have to go to Ray’s shop” and locked the door from the outside.

**

It was fun though, it surprised Frank how handsome Ray looked like even in that uniform, yeah, he had to admit. The shop was good too, the only thing Frank didn’t like was Ray’s boss, that bitch, Frank teased about something he didn’t like in the shop, that he could do that better and he told Frank right into his face that he wouldn’t hire him even if he was the last choice, because of all those tattoos and piercings and Frank really wanted to punch him in the face but he decided not to, thinking of Ray and how he could lose his job so he just swore to himself.

Without laughing at Ray’s uniform it was not as fun as how Frank expected it to be but that was okay, at least they chatted and Frank saw many beautiful ladies and boys, on every attempt of Frank trying to flirt with someone or looking at someone’s butt Ray kicked him hard.  Well, to be honest, that hurt so he started looking at as less girls as possible, not to get kicked by Ray again, it was funny though. Then Matt joined them too and Ray became angry because others didn’t come to see him. Frank waved him off.

“look man” Matt panted. “I’ve never really seen anyone being this handsome in that uniform” he looked at Ray up and down and finally met his eyes.

Ray shrugged. “because that’s me, fucking Toro”

“yeah, fro princess” Frank bitched and laughed. He thought it was going to be a lot funnier than this but really, Ray looked really good.

He shot Frank a look. “where’re Bob and Mikey anyways?” he asked, looking at both of them.

Frank folded his arms. “Bob’s working and as for Mikey, I don’t really know”

“you know what?..” Ray started saying something but he couldn’t finish his sentence because there was a customer and Ray paid attention to her. It was a grocery store and that girl wanted some fruit, so Ray lead her somewhere.

“not a bad job y’know?” Matt shrugged, after Ray left, leaning against the counter and looking at the salary.

“yeah, I’ve never been in this shop before to be honest” said Frank, looking around. “don’t they need a singer?” Asked then and smiled at Matt’s reaction.

“that’s the only thing you’re good at” Matt teased.

Frank shot him a look. “I’m good at playing online games too bitch”

“yeah, sure” Matt raised his eyebrows. “man, I had to play a new game today but I didn’t because I had to come here, the description was too good, I can’t wait till I get home, man!”

“and playing games is actually the only thing you’re good at” Frank winked at Matt, laughing.

Matt didn’t say anything, he was standing so close to the box of chocolates and he thought Ray wasn’t watching and decided to take one for him when suddenly he heard someone cough. It was definitely Ray.

“uh, I wasn’t doing anything” Matt blurted out before Ray could say anything. He just shook his head.

“you two are like fucking babies” it seemed like he was done giving the customer what she wanted and had come back.

Anyways, that days went too slow, Matt decided it was time to go home, Frank knew why he said so and wanted to tell Ray that but Matt begged him with his eyes so he didn’t. if Ray knew what Matt was going back home for, he wouldn’t let him yet because he didn’t like his addiction to internet and games, he always said that was bad for his health and eye-sight.ugh, he was totally acting like their fucking mom.

 Later that day, Frank, Mikey, Ray and Matt went to night club to celebrate Ray’s first day at work, yeah, Mikey had to hear Ray’s disappointment in him for not visiting him, but he promised he’d to it the other day. It had been a while since Frank hadn’t been in club and Ray followed them there because he knew Frank was going to drink and lose control. he couldn’t really drink while Ray was watching him and it made Frank angry because what are those fucking clubs for then? But Ray always told him it was because you could get to know with someone and get laid, or dance or something, or drinking only a little bit, he knew Frank and he knew how Frank lost control when he was drunk.

Well, finally at the moment he was in toilet, Frank thanked god for that. He took a bottle of vodka and started drinking right from the bottle.

“dude, what makes you drink vodka like that” Matt made a face as if he just ate a whole bunch of lemons.

“fuck off” Frank murmured. “y’know? I could maybe ask here if they need a singer?”

 “I dunno, but the only thing I know is that I’m a little drunk and the music it too loud” Matt replied, nearly yelling to make Frank hear what he was saying.

“wow, look” Mikey suddenly screamed, he hadn’t really said anything during that night. “they don’t have any sushi!” looking out of the menu disappointed.

“and..?” Matt and Frank both asked at the same time.

“hell, it’s my favorite food” Mikey uttered and looked back at it to keep on searching for different foods and complaining when he discovered they didn’t have some of his favorite ones.

Frank rolled his eyes. “ Mikey, you’re not in some fucking restaurant, you’re in a freakin club” but Mikey was totally not listening.

Frank sighed. They were sitting at the counter, looking around. Frank was totally looking for chicks, Matt knew him and could read him like an open book.

“Ray’s boss is a total whore” he murmured then, while putting the bottle on his lips and letting the liquid slip into his mouth.

“I wouldn’t hire you if I was him either” they heard Ray say behind them, he had come back. Fuck.

“oh” Frank turned around. “you’re already here?” he asked, more like yelled, because the music was too loud.

“yep” Ray uttered. His voice was firm and from his face expression he got that Ray saw a bottle in his hands. “give it to me” he demanded.

“oh come on, Ray, we’re in a club, I gotta drink “ Frank was trying to convince him.

 “no, Frank, you’ve had enough, I know where drinking more leads you, so don’t.”

“oh come on” Frank shrugged and gave glass to a waiter pointing him to replenish with some more.

“no!” Ray said, not letting the waiter do that. “ I said, you’ve had enough” his face was so firm, Frank thought arguing with him would bring nothing but bad to him, so he let go and swore to himself. the only word Ray could make out was “fuck” so he knew Frank said nothing good.

Frank looked at Mikey, who was now no longer looking into the menu but had found some chick and was dancing with her. Frank raised his eyebrows at Matt. Matt smiled and looked at Mikey again. When Mikey saw they were staring at him, he shot them a face telling “fuck off, don’t look at me like that, it’s weird”.

They rolled their eyes and looked back at Ray. Frank leaned in, against the counter to reach for the bottle, but Ray saw it and shot Frank a look.

“sorry” Frank murmured. He was drunk, a little but he felt how he couldn’t stand properly and was reeling forwards and backwards while standing.

“so..” he started then. “ay Ray!! im talking to you!” he waved his hand in front of  Ray and made him look at Frank. Ray looked confused. “sorry, I didn’t hear” he muttered.

“’s okay” Frank replied, he levered himself upright and fell forward against the bar. “how did your work go right after me and Matt left?.” He asked. That was enough for Ray to get excited and start talking about how many customers there were that day. Great, he didn’t really have Frank in his mind right then so Frank decided to reach for the bottle next to him.

Frank laughed at Ray in his head. “the vodka is mine” he whispered and turned around to go somewhere, to look for hot chicks and oh, there she was, a beautiful girl dancing with some of her friends.

Frank tried to go there, reeling and trying not to fall, drinking vodka right from the bottle. He was so drunk, but it seemed like he didn’t really realize how much he was. He made a face and turned around for a moment, to look good. He checked his hair and put his hands over his clothes to see if he was in a good shape… How he got he wasn’t in a bad shape without a mirror, was hard to guess, but yeah, he was totally drunk.

Then, when he made sure, he was looking good, turned around again and faced those girls. he caught some assholes’ weird looks but ignored them.

“wanna dance b-beautiful?” he asked then to the girl he liked and made a serious face, sliding his hands into his hair, he didn’t have a mirror but he still could guess that they had to be messy.

That girl smiled. “why not?” she asked and followed Frank who lead her onto the dance floor.

“what’s your name?” Frank asked while dancing and trying to get really close to the girl, patting her on her waist.

“Claire, yours?” that girl asked while smiling, not really trying to refuse getting close to Frank, it was fact. Frank could attract any girl.

“Frank” he shouted, while raising his bottle in the air. “for you” he said then and placed the bottle on his lips.

Claire smiled. “you’re so drunk” she said, looking at Frank up and down.

“I know” Frank panted. “I really like you”

“really?” she asked, while putting her hands on Frank’s chicks and rubbing her thumbs on them.

“yeah” Frank gasped, looking over Claire’s arms and seeing Matt, who was giving him disappointed looks, while talking to Mikey, who as it seemed, had lost his chick, it surprised Frank that Ray was now no longer standing with them , where was he?

He ignored that and asked that girl. “what have you planned for tonight?”

“umm, nothing that important” girl uttered, while patting Frank on his waist and then sliding her hand down to touch his crotch.

“ouch” Frank groaned from the sudden action of Claire. He felt how hard he was getting. He smiled at her, wow, that night was going to be good.

He tried to get a little intimate with her and moved his face closer to her to kiss but he felt a hand on his arm and looked around to see Ray grabbing him.

“sorry” Ray apologized to Claire, who had a “the fuck?!” face, while smiling and dragged Frank to the counter again.

“the fuck are y-you doi-ing” Frank murmured and tried to get away from Ray.

“Frank!” Ray said In a serious, firm voice. “you’re drunk, you fucking asshole. “ he called Matt and Mikey to come hold him, because Frank couldn’t even stand.

“I’m not” Frank said it out loud. “hands off, I can stand by myself” he decided to try standing properly to show Ray that he wasn’t drunk. When Matt and Mikey put their hands a little away, they noticed how Frank was reeling forwards and if they hadn’t hold him again, he’d fall on the floor and make everyone laugh at him.

“see?” Ray asked. “and.. oh.. you’ve drank half of that bottle Frank!” Ray got angry when he looked down at Frank and saw a bottle in his hands. He took it away from Frank and put it on the table.

“I think it’s time to go home” Mikey uttered , giving Ray a look.

“what?” Frank asked as he heard Mikey’s words. “no freakin way! I just got a girl to fuck with..” it hit him right there, he remembered Claire and looked around to find that chick but couldn’t see her anywhere. “fuck you!” he muttered to Ray. “I really want s-sex and I’m gonna bang you tonight for this” he bitched and tried to escape Matt’s and Mikey’s hands again.

Ray shook his head. “okay” he nodded. “go home Mikes, please, take him to yours, James isn’t home as he said earlier and god knows what he’ll do alone at home”

“okay” Mikey nodded and signed Matt to help him take Frank to the door. “what are you gonna do?” he asked to Ray, who didn’t seem to be leaving club yet.

“i’ll just go home, I’m really tired and I need some sleep” Ray replied and then brought his eyes to Frank, who was still fighting.

“but..” he started but Ray cut him off. “no buts”

“I can sing, I can do something” he heard Frank say before closing the goddamn door.

**

“fuck you all” Frank muttered while Matt opened the door of Mikey’s car and put Frank in it. ‘I want there” Frank murmured again but nobody was listening to him so he just put his head against the backseat and closed his eyes. “fuck”

“I really hope he’s falling asleep” Mikey uttered and watched Matt who now opened a door for himself and sat on the front seat, next to him.

“yeah” Matt nodded and put the seat belt around his body.

Mikey turned his key in and started his car. He looked at Frank’s reflection in the front mirror and saw how he had his eyes closed. “he fell asleep” he whispered to himself and started driving his car straight to his house, telling Matt to stay with him that day.

**

Frank didn’t wake up till the other day. He didn’t even know where he spent his night, didn’t know where he was when he opened his eyes. All he knew was that his head hurt like fuck. He felt how tired he was despite of the fact that he just woke up so he had to be sleeping. He didn’t remember any single thing from last night, all he knew was that he went to club with his friends and then nothing. Usually, he didn’t love drinking like that, he barely ever drank but sometimes the passion was undefeatable. He mostly used to drink when he was sad, or alone, or depressed. What he hated the most in drinking was the next day, having hangover. It was the worst part, when his head hurt so much and all he wanted was to throw up or die and never feel that ever again.

Matt stayed with Mikey that night, they were looking after Frank, who was sleeping like dead and didn’t care of anything. Mikey was like that too when he was sleeping, he wouldn’t wake up, no matter what was happening, even if bomb exploded next to him.

But, yeah, despite of the fact how Frank denied to get up from bed, he still had to, because it was like 2:00 pm, he got that he wasn’t at home, so it wasn’t so nice of him to sleep till five, like he used to when he was home. His head hurt like fuck. He heard that boys were arguing about something from the living room too loudly, he wanted to punch them, because his head hurt and they were shouting and not letting him rest and sleep .

“fuck” he uttered and put his head on his pillow once more. He closed his eyes and decided to listen what guys were fighting about. He couldn’t make the words out, then he heard how there was a knock on the door and then he fell asleep again.

It was Ray, he had been sleeping the whole night after first day at work and it was only then when he woke up. He quickly decided to visit Mikey and check how Frank was. He still had some time before going to work. It started at three. He knew what he’d see wasn’t going to be good but he went there to check how Frank was anyways. When he came, he knew exactly what situation there was going to be. He wasn’t really mistaken, they were fighting about who was going to go to shop, since Mikey had announced he had run out of food.

“someone needs to go to shop” Ray concluded and looked at Matt, who was talking to Bob, he was expressing something with his hands so it had to be something important.

Matt caught Ray’s eyes looking at him and made a “what-do-you-want” face.

“Mikey’s running out of food” Ray repeated and looked at Matt carefully.

Matt folded his arms. ”call the pizza man then” and continued talking to Bob.

Ray rolled his eyes. “lazy motherfuckers” he sighed. “okay, ill call the pizza man” and stood up to reach for the phone. If he hadn’t come, they all would be doing nothing and not bringing food from the shop, why were they so lazy, Ray couldn’t get it.

Mikey was standing at the counter and was drying the dishes while singing some song, he didn’t really have that good voice so you couldn’t really get what he was singing, but still.

 “what’re you talking about?” he asked then, looking at Ray calling the pizza man.

“about Frank” said Bob and rolled his eyes. “he doesn’t care about anything”

“yeah, and you know? I don’t think that’s good” Matt uttered.

“yeah and then again, what made him drink one bottle of vodka?” Bob made a face as if he just ate something horrible. “ I don’t like vodka”

“neither do I” Matt agreed and stood up to go to Mikey and help him do his job.

“he’ll be here in like ten minutes” Ray said suddenly from the other side of the room and threw the phone to Bob’s direction, signing him to put it on it’s place.

“I’m hungry as fuck” Bob muttered while he did what Ray told him to. “pizza feels like heaven when you’re hungry”

“don’t forget about pie” Mikey argued. he was crazy about pies, he could eat them whole day.

“dude!” Bob started. “are you secretly Dean Winchester?”

“I wish I was” Mikey laughed. “I’d rip your throat”

“who mentioned Dean Winchester here?” they heard someone scream from the door behind them and looked around to discover Frank standing there, resting against the door he had just closed. “I’m dying” he complained and moved to sit somewhere near them. He was feeling exhausted, the best thing for him right then would be dying.

“oh, Mr Excellency woke up” Bob bitched and raised his eyebrows at Ray. Ray just coughed.

 Frank shot Bob a puzzled look in response of that statement. He had his both hands held on his forehead and was making terrible  faces. It seemed like he was really in much pain, but he, himself was to blame for making himself like that. Mikey and Matt didn’t stop doing their job, they just looked at where Frank was heading. Ray was resting against the bar chair. Frank looked terrible, it was fact. His hair was such a mess, he couldn’t open his eyes fully, they hurt, he didn’t know why, maybe because of hangover. He hated that, it was the worst part of drinking.

“do you remember anything?” Ray asked, while he moved to the sofa, to sit next to Frank.

“nope.. nothing man” Frank murmured and let a groan out. He still hadn’t put his hands down from his forehead, he was pressing them tightly on his head hoping the pain might have just... gone away.

“why isn’t it surprising?” Ray raised his eyebrows. The sarcasm in his voice was too obvious.

Frank just sighed a little, not responding to Ray because he knew Ray was always right and answering him would cause nothing but a little lecture from Ray, which was the last thing Frank wanted right then. Instead, he just looked at Mikey and asked him to look for some cold thing for Frank to put it on his forehead. Mikey, rolling his eyes, stopped drying dishes and went to the fridge.

Frank whispered. “that’s why I love him”

“what’d you say?” Bob raised his eyebrows at him.

Frank shook his head. “nothing”

Bob sighed, looking at Ray. Ray wasn’t saying anything, he was just too tired of talking to Frank about this, he had drank several times in clubs before too, but when they told him not to drink like that, he just became crazy and started arguing with them about this. He thought that it was a usual thing to drink and fucking make out with someone and hang out in clubs, that’s why they exist but still, Ray didn’t like it, hated it to death  because he knew Frank could start a fight over silly reason and that wasn’t good to either of them. He could get hurt, Ray loved him too much to let him do that, despite of how he fought Frank and how he criticized him, he always said that he did this because he wanted Frank to be a better person but he failed, well, it seemed that Frank wasn’t really going to change, ever.

Mikey was done searching for cold thing and gave it to Frank. Frank didn’t say thank you, he just couldn’t. he was too tired to move his tongue, well, tired, huh. It made Frank angry that nothing was helping him. He sucked in a lungful of air and exhaled in a futile attempt to try and take the pain. He closed his eyes and leaned against the sofa.

There was a knock on the door, Ray was too worried looking at Frank so Matt stood up and headed for the door. it was the pizza man. They nearly forgot they had called pizza deliver. Matt paid for it and put the pizza on the counter after he closed the door. Everyone were too hungry, including Frank but he still wasn’t moving, because whenever he made a move, there was a vibration in his brain and it shot pain through his whole body. The headache was the worst pain for him. His head was going fucking crazy, it caused his eyes hurt too.

“come on” Ray started and put his hand on Frank’s leg and rubbed it over it. “get up, let’s eat pizza”

Frank shook his head. “nah dude, no, until the pain fades away”

“but you haven’t ate anything today” Ray complained, he really was like a mother to them. Frank didn’t say anything.

“okay, Ray, it’s his freakin choice” Bob muttered, he was too busy having a slice of pizza in his mouth. Ray shook his head and after giving Frank one last look, he stood up and went to the counter.

“you  know what” said Matt.. “guys, this day,  we should remember the date, it happened once in the history! Frank is not hungry!” Frank shot him a little look telling him his head hurt like hell and didn’t need any pointless and senseless jokes.

Matt laughed and grabbed a bottle of cola, he twisted the cap off and gulped some. “do you want some?” he pointed the bottle to Bob but Bob shook his head and Matt put the bottle where it was before.

Frank was still sitting on the sofa but the only difference was that now he had put his hands away from his forehead, he had drummed his finger tips on his knees and was watching something in front of him, in fact he was watching nothing, he was just staring at the wall. He sighed a little and looked at the clock. “it’s 3:00 pm”

Mikey looked at him. “then?”

“ nothing” Frank replied, “ I just.. I wonder if dad is home, maybe I.. I should just call him”

“why wouldn’t he be home??” Matt raised his eyebrows as he cut another slice for him.

Bob rolled his eyes. “ your stupid fucking games and computers are slowly making you stupid”

“what?”

“don’t you freakin know about James’ work? That he can disappear for a few days?” Bob was really annoyed by Matt, he wanted nothing but stupid fucking games.

“oh, right” Matt whispered. Bob rolled his eyes again. “fucking bastards”

Matt shot him an angry look and as he looked at Frank’s direction to say something again, he saw that Frank had already stood up, searching for his phone, he didn’t even remember where he put it last night, but finally when he was done and found it, he tried to call his dad several times but failed, because no one was answering. Frank couldn’t even express how he hated his father’s job.

He went to another room and picked his dad’s second number, but the voicemail said the same thing over and over again, that he was busy and to call him later. Frank didn’t leave the voicemail, he didn’t want to, he just wanted to talk to his father. Maybe James was going to call back as soon as he was going to see that Frank had called him.

Ugh, he was just too freaking tired, yeah, he slept for a whole night, right, but he was still feeling dead inside, he didn’t like that feeling, oh it reminded him of his fucking nightmare.

“oh god, not that dream” he uttered. He didn’t like thinking of it. The day before it seemed like he wasn’t that afraid of it and the feeling had just faded away but somehow it was back. It was back and Frank didn’t like it,  he decided that it wouldn’t be bad if he closed his eyes again and slept for a little while, maybe his friends wouldn’t notice, he needed sleep hoping that when he was going to wake up, maybe he wouldn’t have a headache. He just took his shirt off and with his jeans on, he laid on Mikey’s bed.  As he put his head on the pillow and slowly closed his eyes, he fell asleep.

He didn’t know how long he was sleeping, but one thing he knew for sure was that knocking on Mikey’s  door woke him up. He was half asleep and half-awake when he heard that, he remembered that then he fell asleep again and when he woke up, he didn’t even remember that he heard a knock on the door. he hoped his friends hadn’t discovered that he was sleeping again, but yeah, maybe they would have had, because god, they’d wonder what Frank was doing in bedroom for that long and they’d see him, okay, he didn’t care. He looked at clock and saw that two hours had passed, so he really had to get up, he couldn’t spend the whole day sleeping. Without looking into the mirror, he knew he was looking awful, his hair had to be too messy, and his eyes, they hurt again, well, the headache seemed to have stopped, he thanked god for that, because he couldn’t even handle that kind of headache even for one more hour.

He looked at his phone for the last time before entering the living room to check if his dad had called him, but there was nothing new, so he just sighed and put his phone back in his pocket. His dad and his work were starting to annoy him so much.

He didn’t put the shirt on and decided it was time to go downstairs. He was feeling a familiar feeling. A hunger.

Oh fuck, they had pizza and he didn’t eat, he just remembered but well, now that the headache was over, he could eat just as much as he wanted, fucking perfect, but.. yeah, if they had left some. Well he didn’t care, he was hungry as hell so he was going to eat every fucking thing he was going to see.

“I’m hungry as fuck” he murmured as he went downstairs, entering the room and smelling the smell of pizza. “mmhm”

“oh he woke up” he heard how Bob whispered and looked at the three of them, Mikey Bob and Matt ,standing at the counter. Ray was nowhere, oh yeah, he may have gone to work.

“yeah, I woke up” Frank grinned and tried to make a step forward when he heard the sound of a door behind him, what had to be Mikey’s bathroom, open and stopped himself. He frowned, what the fuck? Hadn’t Ray gone to shop?

“turn around please” Mikey told him and Frank saw how he started moving closer to him. Bob and Matt were just smiling at him. The fuck? Frank asked himself and slowly turned around to discover a tall, black haired guy standing in front of him, only a few inches away from him.

“ouch” he groaned, he wasn’t expecting anyone but Ray there. “what the..” he stared at that guy. Fucking hell, who the fuck was he. Hadn’t Frank fully woken up or had he started seeing things? “uh?” he raised his eyebrows at that guy. Why did he look this much like Mikey? Hell, he looked like Mikey a lot. What the fuck? Frank blinked a few times.

Mikey advanced closer to where Frank and that guy were standing and Frank felt how he stood behind him.

“Frank” he said, his voice was full of doubt. “this is.. I know you’ll be too surprised, but.. uh, let me introduce you to my older brother,” he coughed. “Gerard”

Frank’s mouth fell open. What the actually fuck? Mikey had a brother? Why didn’t Frank know about him before?

He frowned. “your brother?” he managed to ask, yeah, that explained a lot. He decided to look at that dude better, but he suddenly felt some hot air on his cheeks and that was where he remembered they were standing too close and it was Gerard’s breathing. “holy fuck” he swore  and took some steps backwards as fast as he could. “my bad” he waved his hand and now looked at that Gerard-dude better. He was all dressed in black, black jacket, black jeans and long black hair laying on his eyes. the only color he had other than black were his eyes, actually, which were hazel just like Mikey. Hell, they looked so alike.

“um, so  yeah” Mikey continued, as he saw that neither Frank, nor his brother were going to say anything. “Gee, this is Frank” and he turned to face Gerard, and Frank just noticed that he hadn’t really said anything during this whole time. The fuck? He hadn’t even changed the first face expression he had when Frank saw him for the first time. Strange. Hell, he was too weird, he was just standing there and staring at Frank, with a look that… oh what was that look, Frank couldn’t name it, why did it feel so weird? Did he have anything on his face or was he looking bad or.. oh fuck fuck fuck, Frank slowed down his breathing, he just remembered he didn’t have a shirt on, He had just woken up, his hair had to be messy, fuck he had to be looking awful, fuck fuck.

“awkward” he whispered and decided to take a step forward. “I’m Frank” he said and offered his hand, giving Gerard the best charming smile he possibly could.

Gerard didn’t move for a second and from the corner of his eyes, Frank saw how Mikey rolled his eyes and sighed. It scared him, how Gerard was just staring at him, right into his eyes, he wondered what his voice was like. He wasn’t stopping eye contact with Frank. That was strange, did he act like that when he met others too? And wasn’t he going to shake his hand?

And as a thought of this, Gerard put his right hand from the pocket and touched Frank.

“I’m Gerard” he finally said. His voice was deep and low, nothing like Mikey. It made Frank shiver. He heard some laughs from the sofa, maybe boys were just discussing Gerard, or were laughing about Frank’s reaction, or whatever, he felt Mikey next to him too, looking at both of them, but he didn’t care.

“Mikey’s never told us anything about you” he hesitated, looking right into Gerard’s eyes.

Mikey was just smiling at him stupidly. “I know it’s weird, they had the same reaction too” he laughed and pointed to those dorks standing at the window like students who had left their homework home, Frank didn’t know why but they weren’t even moving, maybe Gerard left a scary impression on them? Frank had just met him and despite of the fact that he liked him from appearance, and hell he was very hot, was thinking that Gerard was weird. But what was weirder, was that they’d been friends with Mikey for like eight years and they didn’t know he had a freakin brother and plus, this handsome.

Gerard started holding Frank’s hand stronger. Frank frowned and looked down at their hands.

“uh sorry” Gerard apologized and took his hand away as fast as he could.

Frank waved him off. “it’s okay” he uttered, smiling and it surprised him too much that Gerard didn’t reply anything and just turned around to go upstairs.

Mikey folded. “he’s a little weird, I know” laughed and went closer to boys.

“honestly” Frank started, still shocked. He was still standing by the door and waited till Gerard disappeared. “I have no words”

“dude, why didn’t you tell us you had a brother?” Bob had his eyes widened and it was so funny, how he couldn’t move when Gerard was there but when he went upstairs, he just became himself again, Frank couldn’t help but smile.

“I don’t know, maybe because he’s weird, you saw it yourself and I found him hard to explain” he hissed. Bob shook his head and Frank thanked god mama Teresa wasn’t there, he’d maybe start talking bullshit again, about how you should be proud of whoever you are and not to be ashamed of who your family is.

“dude, it’s weird, this situation, itself” Matt murmured, being in deep thoughts and getting ready to put his phone from his pocket but Bob’s destructive look made him put it back in it’s place. Bob rolled his eyes, muttering something which no one could hear.

“Frank’s shocked” he laughed, looking at Frank who was still standing by the door. Frank just realized that, oh, hell,  he wasn’t that shocked just because he didn’t know Mikey had a brother, he just couldn’t forget the way Gerard stared into his eyes. weird and scary.

But there was no time thinking of that, he had nearly forgotten he was hungry, and telling everyone to fuck off, he just went to the counter and took pizza, yeah, his friends were too kind, poor boys, they had left three slices for him.

“god, that’s why I love you” he nearly yelled.

Mikey laughed. “you thought I wouldn’t leave some for you?”

Frank didn’t really have time to say thank you, he was already too busy having the slice of pizza into his mouth. Mikey smiled.

There was a silence for some minutes. There was only a sound of someone walking on the second floor and of Frank’s mouth working hard.

Matt broke the silence. “he looks so  similar to you to be honest” while looking at the newspaper he  had brought in the morning.

Mikey smiled. “I know, everyone keeps saying that”

“how didn’t we know anything about him?” asked Bob, when he couldn’t hide the curiosity anymore.

“I dunno, man” Mikey uttered. “I don’t really know, he’s weird, and when I got to know with you, he was already gone and I didn’t want to talk about him, because we were angry at the moment and there was a whole bunch of lies and different things and god knows what, I don’t want to talk about it now.” He sighed, sitting on the chair with his legs crossed and he put his right hand in his pocket, with his left hair in his hands, playing with few strands of his hair, twisting them gently around his fingers.

“okay dude, okay” Bob replied, he got Mikey didn’t want to talk about it and whispered to Frank how Mikey didn’t like it at first when he saw his brother standing at the door. It surprised Frank too much, everything about that day surprised Frank. He wanted to maybe go and leave those brothers alone? Maybe they were distracting them but fuck, right then he was too busy eating.

Matt yawned and put his head on Bob’s arms to rest. “I’m so freakin tired”

 “yeah, me too” Frank murmured, Bob shot him a look and Frank knew what for. Maybe because he slept for two times that day and still felt exhausted. “will your brother come down?” he found himself asking, without thinking of what he was saying.

“yeah” Mikey replied. “he will, he’ll just get his clothes out of his bags and he’ll come down”

“is he going to live here from today on?” Bob asked, putting his right leg on his left one.

Mikey didn’t say anything at first, but then sighed. “yes”

“he seems so firm”  Frank concluded, waiting for Mikey’s answer patiently, leaning against the counter and resting against his hands.

“He is” Mikey agreed. Well, from appearance you could get it, because Gerard was dressed all in black, he had a leather jacket, black shirt under it and black hair. His hair was all over his forehead. Mikey didn’t have that long hair. Yeah, there were some differences between them, not some, but too many.

“he’s hot” Frank stated after some seconds of not saying anything, looking out of the window and making Mikey choke in his own spit.

“what?” he asked. “ Frank for god’s sake you’re not gonna..” wanted to say something but then they heard someone say. “he’s not gonna what?” and their eyes spun to see Gerard going downstairs, with a cigarette in his hand, letting the smoke leave his mouth. He was looking at all four of them in turn.

“oh” Mikey moaned. “nothing, Gee, we were just talking about..” he stopped. “about Frank’s job”

Frank and Bob exchanged looks. Of course, That was a great lie. Frank tried not to laugh, he knew Mikey was an excellent liar, but didn’t know he used to lie to his family members too. He was moving forward the sofa to play some games in Matt’s phone but then he heard Gerard ask.

 “and Frank’s job was hot?” he raised his eyebrows at Mikey.

Oh fuck, Frank froze up right where he was standing. He’d heard it.

Frank felt Gerard’s eyes on him, but tried not to care of it, he imagined the way Gerard had to be looking at him and it made him shiver. But the way he said his name though, for the first time.

From the corner of his eyes, Frank could see how Bob and Matt were trying too hard not to laugh and looking at one-another, pressing their hands on their mouths. Frank rolled his eyes and looked at Mikey, but Mikey folded, he was helpless. Frank decided to bring his eyes to Gerard, who was still standing on stairs. Their eyes met.

“no” Frank heard himself say. “actually, I was talking about you”

“what? No!” Mikey blurted out and shot Frank a disappointed look. Matt started coughing loudly.

Well, Gerard didn’t seem that surprised, without any emotion on his face he nodded. “so, me”. Frank was staring at him, taking in every feature he could. From his black hair to the way he had his cigarette put between his fingers. The way he let the smoke out of his mouth, the smoke swirling around his face, making him look even more attractive.

“okay” he let that word out and Frank could swear to god that he saw how Gerard smiled. You couldn’t really call that a “smile”, but yeah, he totally did that. Frank’s stomach flipped. What was that for?

“um..” Mikey tried to neutralize situation. “you guys, are staring into each-other’s eyes for too long don’t you think that’s weird?” and he laughed, trying to joke. The little smile on Gerard’s face faded away and finally he moved, making his way to the bathroom and disappearing. Frank didn’t stop looking at him until he slammed the door.

“what the fuck are you even thinking?” that was Mikey. Frank rolled his eyes.

“calm down dude” he hissed. “what did I do wrong?”

Mikey shook his head. “he’s not hot, and you shouldn’t think of him that way”

Frank didn’t say anything and he finally remembered where he was heading, before Gerard stopped him. He wanted Matt’s phone. He jumped on the sofa, causing it to dip slightly. He was reveling in the feeling of playing,

“shut your mouth Bob” he laughed and Bob just realized he still  had his mouth open.

“you’re crazy Frank” he raised his eyebrows at himself and rolled his eyes.

Matt nodded. “oh” he said suddenly. “Ray doesn’t know Gerard, does he?”

Frank didn’t know when Ray went, cause he was sleeping by that time but it seemed like he wasn’t there when Gerard arrived.

“I’m sure he’ll like him” he hissed. “because man, he’s mama Teresa, he likes everyone”

Bob laughed. “I think so”

Mikey sighed. He was totally not listening to them and Frank had forgotten that he was going to call his father later. His head didn’t hurt either and he was feeling cool.

“man, I was too sick today and I feel cool now” Frank started, searching for racing games. “dude, if your brother could make me feel better why didn’t he arrive earlier?” he laughed.

Mikey shot him a puzzled look. Frank’s smile faded. “okay, okay”

Mikey stood up, looking at the bathroom door. “I’ll be back soon” he uttered and followed Gerard. Frank didn’t know why Mikey went but the only thing he knew was that he really needed some time alone with Matt and Bob.

“tell me every fucking thing” Frank uttered, as soon as Mikey shut the door behind him and he threw the phone away, looking at both of them.

Matt laughed. “you think we know more than you?”

“no, but you were here when I wasn’t” Frank folded his arms.

“okay” said Bob. “look, dude, it was too surprising, when Mikey opened the door he didn’t like who was standing there, yeah, he was happy at some point, but after all, he didn’t like the idea of Gerard staying here”

Frank nodded thoughtfully and told Bob not to talk too loud cause Mikey could hear them.

Bob lowered his voice. “then Gerard decided to go, but Mikey stopped him and they both put Gerard’s bags in his new room, on the second floor. Then he went downstairs and started talking to Mikey about something too quietly, I don’t know what they were talking about, he was not saying a single thing to us, as if we weren’t there. Me and Matt decided to go, because we were distracting them but Mikey didn’t let us, and we just stood there, at the window, like stupid dorks.”

Frank laughed. “was that why you weren’t saying anything when I entered?”

“dude, I wanted to laugh at your reaction so much” Matt uttered.

“me too” said Bob. “but to be honest, Gerard didn’t really have that kind of reaction with any of us” and he pointed to himself and Matt with his eyebrows.

So that was it. Gerard hadn’t acted like this when he met them, really? Just, really? Why did he act himself like that next to Frank then?

“oh, and” Matt broke the silence. “he knew where Ray worked.”

Frank’s jaw dropped. “what?? How?”

“yeah” Bob nodded. “we were talking about one-another and when it came to Ray, he asked If he had left because of his job at his shop”

“oh my god” Frank uttered. “how?”

“I don’t know” Matt replied. “maybe Mikey told him?”

“yeah, that’s the only explanation I can think of” Bob  agreed.

“maybe just..” Frank couldn’t finish his sentence because they heard the sound of a door and looked around to see Mikey coming back to the room.

“I’m back” he smiled and made his way through the boys.” What were you talking about?”

“Frank’s tattoos” Bob replied, without even blinking. Yeah, Mikey was a liar, but Bob was worse. Fucking dorks.

“oh okay” Mikey nodded. “are you gonna get another?”

“oh no” Frank blurted out. God, Mikey was too naïve, it made Frank feel guilty, he didn’t even doubt and believed what Bob said. “we were just discussing why I wasn’t working, is all” Frank smiled, he was a great liar too.

“oh” Mikey said softly. Frank raised a hand to push his hair out of his eyes.

 “talking about my job” he said suddenly. “I really want to get one”

“what?” all of them looked at him at the same time.

Frank looked at them confused. Why was it so unreal? Maybe because he’d said this for like thousand times but he didn’t even think of it the other day.

“no ,no seriously this time” he added.

“okay, where?” Bob asked and pointed him to all the tattoos he had.

“exactly, I don’t know yet” Frank sighed. ‘but I will think of it maybe later this day, when I get home” he paused. “alone” added then and he just felt how something dropped in his stomach and he looked at his phone, there were no calls, no voicemails, no messages, James hadn’t called him back.

Mikey got why Frank became so sad all of a sudden and tried to calm him down. “don’t worry dude, he’s okay, he just doesn’t have time maybe”

“doesn’t have time for me?” Frank asked, raising his eyebrows. “he doesn’t think of anything but his fucking job!”

“but someone has to earn money, Frank” said Bob and Frank rolled his eyes.

“are you replacing Ray?”

Bob ignored him and kept on talking. “you shouldn’t be like that, depending on your father? It’d bad. Frank you know that right? and..” but Bob couldn’t finish the word because someone came into the room.

Gerard stopped for a minute when he saw Bob was saying something and couldn’t finish his word.  He caught everyone’s attention.

“go on, go on” he signed Bob to keep on talking and went to the drawers, searching for something.

“so..” Bob looked from Gerard to Frank now. “what was I saying?”

“for fuck’s sake Bob!” Frank rolled his eyes. “not now okay?” said and continued watching Gerard. Yeah, he really looked like Mikey, he didn’t know about the inside part of him but from the outside, they looked really similar, except for the fact that Gerard didn’t seem as childish as Mikey. Mikey was so sensitive, he used to take everything to his heart easily, but Gerard didn’t seem like that, he seemed to be a firm guy.

“why are you all looking at me?” they heard Gerard ask all of a sudden, looking at some sheets of paper.

Bob sighed. “Gerard, right?”

Frank was confused, Gerard was standing with his back to others and how did he know they were all looking at them? Maybe he guessed, yeah.

Gerard nodded after some time, when Bob had already given up and wasn’t really expecting an answer from him. “not a really modern name, right?” he smiled.

“at least it’s better than Raymond” Matt laughed and thanked god Ray wasn’t there.

Gerard didn’t laugh, god knew if he smiled or not, but at least there was no sound of someone laughing, maybe he didn’t get the joke because he didn’t know Ray. Then he turned around, still not taking his eyes away from papers and moved to Mikey, whispering something in his ear. When he bent down, to reach for Mikey’s ear, Frank couldn’t help but look at his ass, he could swear he hadn’t seen anyone that handsome in a long time. It was a great view from where he was sitting. He kept looking until Bob noticed and shot him a puzzled look. Frank looked away immediately as if nothing had happened. Bob shook his head.

Finally, they were done whispering and Gerard made his way to the drawers again to put those papers back where they were before and Frank let out a sigh of relief.

“why are you all silent?” Mikey laughed, taking his eyes away from Gerard and looking at Frank, raising his eyebrows and telling to stop looking at his brother like that. Frank smiled.

“I don’t know” Bob folded. “let’s say something”

“oh fuck” they head Matt utter. “it’s eight already?”

As a mention of time, Frank and Bob both looked at the clock, yeah, it was eight already. Every time remembering what time it was, Frank was freezing up, because of his dad and why he wasn’t calling back. Some hours had actually passed since Frank tried to call him.

“I think it’s time to go home” Frank found himself saying. Yeah, maybe James was home, he just didn’t have money on his phone to call? Or maybe he preferred not to call and be at home when Frank was going to get back?

“oh not yet please” Mikey muttered. “stay here for some more time”

“no, no Mikey, sorry, I’m just.. it’s too late and I gotta.. uh, check if dad is home” Frank replied and stood up to get ready.

“oh come on” Mikey groaned. Bob stood up with Frank too. “I’ll go home too, tomorrow I gotta go to work early, y’know?” and headed for the door to reach for his coat.

Mikey rolled his eyes. “fuckers” he murmured and followed them to the door.

Frank had to walk past Gerard, if he was going to take his coat because Gerard was standing at the drawers again, next to where Frank’s coat was hanging. He wasn’t stopping looking at Frank, but Frank tried to make his way not looking at him, he wasn’t used to someone looking at him like that, it wasn’t a look someone gives you when they like you, that look made Frank shiver, it was destructive.

And finally, he was done putting his coat on, he felt how Gerard was standing beside him. God, those seconds felt like centuries. He looked at Bob who was already at the door, with Mikey and waiting for him to finish his work.

“so, are you leaving?” Frank heard someone ask behind him and he didn’t really need to think of who it might have been. He closed his eyes for a  moment and turned around to face Gerard. He wasn’t really mistaken when he thought Gerard asked that question looking at him.

“yeah” he raised his eyebrows.

Gerard didn’t say anything for a moment. “fine, cool” he said after some seconds.

What the fuck? Frank heard how Mikey coughed and  he knew it for sure that Bob had his jaw dropped.  He didn’t say anything, just turned around and went to the door.

Gerard folded. “why isn’t that guy leaving?” and signed to Matt, who was playing a game in his phone but slowly brought his eyes from his phone to Gerard, raising his eyebrows. “what?”

Frank thought Gerard was going to say something ruder this time but he couldn’t. Mikey didn’t let him. “what the fuck Gerard?” he asked and did one step forward.

Gerard raised his eyebrows. “what?” he asked, as if nothing had happened.

“you do know that those are my friends right?” Mikey asked, not taking his eyes away from his brother. Gerard was resting against the drawer, sitting at the tip of it, with his hands crossed.

He sighed. “ I shouldn’t have arrived” and without checking what he caused in his little brother’s heart, he moved and walked past Matt to go upstairs.

Mikey felt like he just got slapped, but to be honest, slapping would be much better than what Gerard had just told him. He made him think that he didn’t want to be with this family and everything was repeating itself, past was never leaving them.

“hey Mikes” Frank heard Bob say, putting his hand on Mikey’s shoulder. “it’s okay, we’re good”

Mikey shook his head. “I’m sorry” he uttered.

Frank and Bob both smiled at him and turned around to go, telling him they’d see him tomorrow at Ray’s. Matt decided not to leave, because if he did, Mikey’d become sadder, thinking they didn’t want to stay there because of his brother and spent that night there.


	3. Life? Life's shit.

Ray listened to boys describing Mikey’s brother with his jaw dropped. As soon as they visited Ray at his shop the next day, they told him everything and despite of how surprising it was, Ray didn’t start talking bullshit. He couldn’t, till he didn’t see Gerard himself. Well, Mikey wasn’t there that day too, Ray didn’t get sad this time, he knew his brother was there so he needed some time home. Mikey and Gerard hadn’t seen each-other for too long so maybe there were many things they needed to share. Ray totally understood him.

Matt was there too, he said he left Mikey’s house early that day, he slept with Mikey and Gerard was in his room, he didn’t really come out all night long so it’s wasn’t that uncomfortable situation. But Matt swore that he was never ever staying with Mikey alone.

 However, Frank was sad, his dad hadn’t called him,  he hoped that he was gonna be home, but he wasn’t and that nearly depressed him. Oh how he wished his mom was alive, he wouldn’t have to spend hours alone at home. It had been like a week he hadn’t visited the graveyard and brought flowers to her, he was going to do that later that day cause he suddenly felt how he missed her. When he was little she always encouraged him and accepted him the way he was. She knew about his bisexuality and didn’t punish him or deny him for that, he loved his son with her whole heart, of course James didn’t know about his son’s sexuality but if he knew, Frank was sure he wouldn’t accept it, despite of how he loved Frank. Since  the day his mother died, there hasn’t really been a month, he hadn’t visited her grave, he felt guilty every time forgetting to do that. It was his responsibility.

His mom was the best thing he ever had in his life and she was gone, somehow he felt like he was all alone and he really needed to visit her right then. He apologized to boys and waved them goodbye. First of all he bought flowers, roses, red ones, he knew his mom loved those and always brought them when he went to her grave. He loved walking alone, Matt told him he could go with him but Frank refused it, he needed some time alone. Everyone needs that sometimes. It hurt though, he had the best friends in the world, somehow everything seemed pretty good till the day James started disappearing for days and leaving Frank all alone and till the day Frank saw that fucking dream. The strange feeling it caused in him, wasn’t fully dead and was sometimes waking up in him, causing his stomach burn and do backflips.

And there he was, with red roses in his hands, he was making his way through graves, heading for the one he wanted to see. He felt bad for a moment, when he realized he didn’t go to church and didn’t believe in god. If his mother knew that, she’d totally be pissed at him for that but since the day she died, Frank totally lost faith in god, not that he was too religious before her death though.

It was like the first time he wanted to cry, he didn’t know why but something in him was not right, something was missing and he didn’t know what it was. Usually he never cried, he didn’t love crying, that was for the weak people. He reached his mom’s grave and stopped for a moment right there, just staring down at it.

“Linda Iero” he whispered and bent down a little to touch her portrait on the stone. She was beautiful, as always, she was the prettiest woman in the world.

 He put flowers on the ground and slid down against the cold stone, pulling his knees up to his chest. He let out a pissed off sigh, his eyes setting upon the horizon. The cloudy sky, the fog around him, perfect weather. Fucking perfect, it matched with Frank’s mood. The unbearable silence. once he entered the cemetery, death welcomed him breath by breath. It was weird though, all kinds of people, rich or poor, white or black, everyone ended up in a cold ground, in some fucking cemetery and then, nothing was left of you. Frank’s mom was too pretty, beautiful and he tried to imagine what could be left of her under the ground he was sitting on. he didn’t know it was that feeling, or the wind blowing that made him shiver and he looked down at his knees.

“hey mom” he whispered, voice shaking. “how’s it going?” he knew there was never going to be an answer to that, but he loved talking to his mom, it calmed him down. “dad hasn’t showed up for days, he’s gone, I don’t know what’s happening, he’s not calling me either. I’m confused.” He slid his hand over the tombstone and smiled. He felt too bad for his dad, when he remembered what was his reaction when she died. It was awful, Frank couldn’t imagine how could someone love a person like that. They were like soulmates and that feeling was totally unknown to him but he tried to imagine what his dad felt when he heard of his mom’s death and that was nothing nice to imagine.

The graveyard was spooky. How could a place be so full and empty at the same time? He couldn’t see the undertaker, he used to be at graveyard every time but that day he wasn’t there. How could someone work as something like that anyway? It was bullshit, Frank couldn’t even stand being there for one hour, he just did so because he thought seeing his mom every month was necessary, he couldn’t stand the feeling of being the only thing alive in so many people. It was weird. But what was weirder than that was the fog, like, it wasn’t actually a morning and the fog wasn’t supposed to be all over the cemetery. He folded and looked around for a while. He was so deep into thoughts, he hadn’t noticed that before. He could barely see tombstones, what the fuck. He looked at the direction of woods, maybe it was coming from there? There were woods nearby this cemetery and maybe that was it? No, it couldn’t really be that. Those woods though, he often used to visit them, he enjoyed wandering through it, it was peaceful, and he could think of his life easily there, without anyone being annoying and disturbing him.

“She’s beautiful” suddenly he heard someone say behind him before he could manage to stand up and that made him jump a few inches in the air. The voice was familiar though, he turned around to look up and discover someone standing over him. At first he couldn’t see his face, yeah, he could indentify sex, but then it was clear.

Frank’s jaw dropped. It was Gerard.

“G-Gerard?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. Gerard was the last person he thought that could be there.

Well, he was dressed in black as always, black jacket and AC/DC shirt under it. He ran his hand through his hair and blinked a few times.

“yeah” he answered after some seconds. “why are you so surprised?”

Frank couldn’t shut his mouth yet, why was he there, what did he… oh fuck, yeah, of course, fuck Frank, why are you so stupid? Of course, Mikey’s parents were buried in the same cemetery as Frank’s mom, maybe he was there to see his mom and dad too. The sudden realization of it hit him.

“fuck, sorry, nothing” he forced a smile on his face and stood up, to face him better.

“I thought it was polite to say ‘thank you’ when they give a compliment to someone you love?” Gerard raised his eyebrows and moved to right a little maybe to look down at tombstone.

“oh sorry” Frank apologized for the second time that day. “I totally forgot to”

Gerard sighed. “it’s okay”

Frank smiled again. He watched Gerard walk past him and look at his mom’s grave carefully. Frank noticed that the fog had suddenly started disappearing, it was nearly gone, he could make out the things better. He frowned.

“so, that’s your mom, am I right?” he heard Gerard ask and leaving the thought about the fog, turned around to face  him.

“yeah, you’re right” he sighed. The sudden appearing of Gerard confused him but that did make sense, he had just arrived and maybe he wanted to see his mom and dad. That was logical. “she died eight years ago”

Gerard didn’t say anything. He was looking at Frank at first for what felt like an hour, but then brought his eyes to something else, behind him. It was like, he was checking something. Frank looked at that direction, wondering what he was looking at, but there was nothing. He folded. “what are you looking at?”

Gerard made a who-me face. “what?”

“yeah” Frank replied. “you were totally looking at something behind me”

“I wasn’t” Gerard said with a tone, that meant he didn’t want to continue talking about that. Frank didn’t try to, though.

He just nodded. “well then”

It was surprising. Despite of how sad Frank was going to be, the inside part of him that was always looking for someone to fuck, was always winning in him. Right then too, he was looking at Gerard, he knew he was Mikey’s brother and couldn’t really have anything with him, but he couldn’t help it. That guy was so attractive, the way he was dressing, his hair laying down on his eyes and those hazel eyes, matching with the black color. Fuck, Frank. You’re at the cemetery and you’re thinking of that? What the fuck? Frank god pissed with himself for thinking that on his mother’s grave and tried to get those thoughts away from his head.

He didn’t really have to try hard for that. As if, Gerard knew what Frank was trying, he asked a question. “do you miss her?”

Frank sighed. “yeah” he nodded. He really did. “I do, do you?” he found himself asking.

“do I what?” Gerard raised his eyebrows.

“do you miss yours?”

Gerard thought for a moment. “would you believe me if I told you I don’t?”

Frank frowned. “of course I wouldn’t”

“well then, if that’s so, I won’t answer to it”

Frank raised an eyebrow at him. What the fuck was this guy even thinking? Frank thought he was strange but he didn’t think he was that strange. How could he not miss his parents, that was impossible, Frank missed his mother like hell and thanked god his dad was alive and that man had both of his parents dead. how could two brothers be this different from one-another?

“you’re weird, you know that?” Frank asked, he knew he shouldn’t have asked that but he didn’t care. He made a step forward and stood right next to Gerard, who was still looking at Frank’s mom’s tombstone. He brought his eyes up to Frank.

“I know” he nodded, still looking into Frank’s eyes. what did that man want? Why was he looking so persistently at him? It didn’t make sense, it felt like his eyes made their way deep into Frank’s soul, searching for something. “but from my point of view, I’m nothing like that”

Frank’s eyes widened. “what? You’re totally weird”

“you don’t know me”

“well, yeah, but that’s what I can see right now” Frank couldn’t believe his ears.

“in all our perceptions, from vision to hearing, to the pictures we build of people’s character, our unconscious mind starts from whatever objective data is available to us, usually spotty, and helps to shape and construct the more complete picture we consciously perceive” Gerard took a deep breath and stopped for a moment, watching how Frank opened his mouth but before he could manage to say something Gerard cut him off. “with “our” I mean “yours”, cause that’s not how my brain works”

So, that’s not how his brain works, Frank repeated in his head. Why was he so sure he was standing above all of them?

“what do you mean by that?” he found himself asking.

“what I mean is” Gerard started. “when you first see a person, you judge them from their appearance and if you think their appearance is weird, you think that person is totally weird too”

Frank thought for a moment . “but I don’t think you’re weird because of your appearance”

“you know that’s not true” Gerard replied and moved his head few inches closer to Frank. “actually you touched your mouth when you said that. When one does that, touches or covers their mouth while saying something, it means that they are most likely lying”

Frank’s mouth fell open, he had just realized he had his hand on his lips and quickly removed them from his mouth. How much did this man know about body language? He sounded like he knew many things. And plus, Frank didn’t think he considered Gerard weird because of his appearance but when he thought hard about that, actually yes, that’s what he really thought.

“wow” that was the only thing he managed to say. “I didn’t know that”

Gerard didn’t say anything, he stopped looking at Frank and set his eyes upon the ground. His right hand was in his pocket, Frank looked at his hair and brought his eyes to his neck. He was pale, that was another reason why Frank had to like Gerard. He loved pale guys. He was wearing tight jeans, with a batman belt around his waist. Batman? Seriously? Another weird thing of him. AC/DC shirt he had under his black jacket was tucked in his trousers. Brilliant, that made him look even hotter. His right hand was still in his pocket. He brought his eyes to the left one and.. oh.

“are you married?” Frank asked, before he could think of what he was asking and wanted to take back his question as soon as he was done saying the words and Gerard looked at him, frowning.

“No” he replied after some seconds, and Frank didn’t know why but he let out a sigh of relief. “what made you think that?”

Frank didn’t know how to reply to that question but then decided to tell the truth. “the ring on your left hand”

“oh,” Gerard let out a sigh and lifted his hand to look at his ring. “that’s not for engagement, parents.. they gave me that”

It was surprising. “oh I see” Frank replied. “why do you wear it anyway? You said you didn’t miss them”

“I didn’t say that”

Frank frowned. “you didn’t but you meant it”

“so, are you a mind reader?” Gerard asked raising his eyebrows. “it seems like you read minds”

“I don’t!” Frank was a little pissed off, mostly because he didn’t have an answer to that but on the other hand Gerard was so ironic. “nobody can read minds”

“do you believe that’s true?” another confusing question from him.

“yeah, I totally believe in that. We live in a real world, where no magic, no supernatural things exist”

At first Frank didn’t know what was happening but then he got it. Gerard was laughing. He had never really seen Gerard smile and now he was laughing with his whole body. He had a lot different laugh from Mikey, not high pitched, like him. It was dry, and deep. Frank raised his eyebrows, wondering what that guy was laughing so hard about.

After some seconds, he was finally done. “sorry” he uttered. “it was so funny!”

Frank narrowed his eyes. “and what’s so funny about this?”

Gerard thought for a moment, getting his serious face back. “nothing, forget it”

Frank couldn’t believe his ears. “you laugh at me, and you don’t even say why?”

“I didn’t laugh at you” Gerard replied. “I laughed at what you said”

“I don’t think there’s a difference between those.” Frank rolled his eyes. “so, you believe in ghosts?”

“yeah, look, there’s a ghost, trying to kill us” Gerard said and pointed with his index finger to  the woods, somehow he was not smiling.

“you’re so funny” Frank fake-smiled, the sarcasm in his voice was too obvious.

“I’m not joking” Gerard replied, at first it seemed like he was not joking for real but then he got that that sounded weird and maybe because of that, he smiled a little. Frank smiled back.

The flood of questions he wanted to ask was never ending but he knew he had to pace himself, he’d sound like a stupid asshole. He really thought Gerard was weird, but like, a good weird? Someone who knew lots of things, Frank wanted to know what else he knew about psychology and body language but he stopped himself before asking. It was not a proper time.

“I think it’s time to go” he said, realizing they’d been there for too long.

“yeah, I guess” Gerard replied. “but I’m not coming yet”

Frank had already made a step to go but he stopped. “what? Why?” turning around and facing Gerard again.

“I gotta do something” he said quietly, informing Frank he didn’t want to say the exact reason. Frank sighed, maybe he needed to spend more time with his parents.

He nodded. “okay” and got away from Gerard, heading for the door to leave the cemetery. When he was already at gates and reached out to open the door he glanced behind him to see Gerard but he was already gone. Frank frowned but then turned around and kept on walking.

He wandered outside for some hours, it was a night when he got home. There were many things he needed to think about, first of all, what kind of a man was Gerard? He had had many friends and had a relationship with more people than someone could possibly imagine but he had never seen someone like him. This time, he said Gerard was weird not because the way he looked, his dressing style or his appearance, but his character, he himself was weird, he said one thing, but then denied that, he was mysterious. God, he couldn’t believe Mikey and Gerard were related.

He went up to his floor by an elevator. when he was right about to try to open the door he saw it wasn’t locked, did that mean that.. oh did that mean James was home? Thinking of that, Frank lit up, because it had been days since he hadn’t seen his father and opened the door as fast as he could.

James seemed to be in the kitchen. There was a light coming from there and plus  there were noises of something getting fried. The smell was really good, what had James been doing?

Frank put his shoes off and took his jacket off. He headed for the kitchen and looked at James, standing at the counter cutting potatoes.

“Dad?” he raised his eyebrows and caught James’ eyes who turned around to see Frank standing at the sink.

 “oh, Frank, hello “ he greeted and smiled at Frank. “you’re home already?” asked then, while continuing his job.

“yeah” Frank let a pissed off sigh out.  “long time, right?” and raised his eyebrows, while rolling up his sleeves to wash hands, trying to inform his father he was angry at him.

“I know” James sighed. “I had lots of work to do” He was cooking something, yeah, Frank couldn’t cook anything, all he ate during the day was pizza or burger or something if James hadn’t cooked anything, it was too hard to live without a mother.

“well yeah, you always do, you’re not home for like half a week” Frank replied after some minutes, when he was done drying and sat on the table where James was doing his stuff. His father looked really funny in that red apron.

“Frank” he said and stopped working to look at Frank. “it’s my job. I can’t lose this one, you’re not working and someone has to earn money okay?”

“oh yeah? Is your job more important than me?” Frank asked. He put his hands on the table and looked down at them. James stopped cutting for a moment. It hurt hearing this from his son. There wasn’t anything or anyone he loved more than Frank.

“I’m doing this for you, okay?” he uttered. Frank looked up at him. “I’m doing this for you to be okay, mom has gone, she’s not with us anymore, I gotta do everything for you.. I just..” he was slowly lowing his voice, as if, he couldn’t finish what he was saying.

Frank shook his head. “why weren’t you calling me?  didn’t you just send me a  message? Did it take too long to send just one SMS? I was so worried and you didn’t even care enough to answer my calls!” he was too angry right then and when he was like that, he couldn’t really control what he was saying.

“stop it!” James demanded. “why can’t you just get that I couldn’t, Frank..” he stopped for a moment. “just listen to me. Okay, I work at a very hard place Frank and I never wish you to work at that place, I just couldn’t, what do you think? I could and I didn’t answer you? Believe me, there was nothing I wanted more than telling you I was okay and there was nothing to worry about but I couldn’t find time for that”

“you couldn’t find some seconds? Sorry but I can’t believe you dad” Frank refused to believe the fact James couldn’t find just a minute to call back.

“oh my god” James let a groan out and put the knife on the table. “you’re so stubborn, I should’ve known you wouldn’t believe me”

“you don’t just get it dad” Frank started. “being alone at home sometimes sucks!”

“I know but why don’t you just try and imagine what it’s like to be me? Just imagine, I live alone with my son, without the love of my life who I loved more than anything and anyone and I have to do everything for the only family member I  have left and for the one my wife adored and loved. If I lose this job, god knows if I ever get another one, do you want that? You’re gonna die of starvation!” he hadn’t even noticed how he had raised his voice.

“I can earn money” Frank was not giving up. “I play online games, I play at concerts sometimes, I always have money, I can give you some too and for fuck’s sake dad, I can get a job too!”

“then why don’t you? Come on, get a job and I promise when you do that, I’ll leave mine”

Frank looked up at him, unsure of what to say. “will you?” it was all he could ask.

“I promise” James replied,. “whenever you find a job, I’ll leave mine”

Frank thought for a moment. “oh yeah?” and it hit him.” But I have tattoos. There’s a high possibility they’re not gonna hire me!”

“I don’t know, I promised you, as soon as you find something, I’m gonna do what I said.” James smiled, hoping everything was good again between them.

In fact, Frank knew this really well and he didn’t blame James for that, but.. he just needed his father by his side. “okay” he whispered, looking down. James didn’t say anything, he just continued cooking. It seemed that Frank made him think about his work and his relationship with his son. Yeah, Frank was right at some point, he needed his father next to him but after all, James couldn’t reason anything so he just decided not to talk about that and keep silent.

“what are you doing anyways?” Frank asked then out of nowhere, after some minutes of being quiet and listening to the knife going through potatoes.

“a soup” James replied and smiled at the face Frank made. He didn’t love food like that, he was just eating fast food meals every day and was refusing to understand eating them every day wasn’t good for his organism.

Frank sighed. “it’s okay, I think there’s some pizza left”

“Frank, why are you acting like a baby?” James laughed. He put the knife on the table and headed for the sink.

“I’m a grown man” Frank pointed it out loud. He wished he could go back to his childhood, when everything was perfect and he had nothing to worry about.

“yeah, you are” James nodded, while putting those potatoes he cut into the hot water at the oven. “and I don’t know what the fuck you’re thinking but you really should search for some chick already”  Frank was sitting behind him and couldn’t see James’ face but he could get how James was smiling while saying that.

“ooooh!” Frank groaned., rolling his eyes. he rubbed his hand on his chin. “don’t, please” he was sick of talking about that because he knew when it was a right time but right then, he didn’t really feel anything for anyone and was hoping he wasn’t gonna feel that anytime soon, because he loved being free, not depending on someone. That was his problem. He didn’t love asking stuff to anyone, because why ask something when he himself could do it if he really wanted to?

“you’ll never change” James laughed and when he was done doing his job, he sat next to Frank, on the table, he was waiting for potatoes getting boiled.

He smiled at Frank. “I really have a lot to tell you” Frank told him and went on talking about stuff that happened during those days James wasn’t there.


	4. Brother for Brother

“so, that’s Selena?” Bob asked, eyes widening. He and Frank were desperately staring at a computer screen.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “no, not Selena, it’s Selene.”

“right” Frank nodded. “she doesn’t look like Selena”

“I thought she was just an angel?” Bob raised his eyebrows, ignoring Frank. Gerard opened his mouth to say something but there was a noise of door opening and they looked at Mikey, who had beers in his hands.

“did I disturb you?” he asked laughing and put beers on the table, while looking at the computer. “who’s that?”

“she’s not an angel” Gerard informed them, ignoring Mikey. “ In Greek mythology she’s a goddess of the moon.”

Bob was sitting right next to him, paying a close attention to what he said. The thing was that he was on the internet when he saw the picture of a beautiful woman, he was discussing about that woman with Frank, thinking she was an angel when Gerard saw that picture and tried to explain who that woman was. In fact she wasn’t that pretty, Bob and Frank just thought every women were beautiful,

“I didn’t remember her name but I knew she was something like that” Frank replied, he wasn’t really interested in what Gerard was saying, he just wanted to have a dialogue with him.

“i didn’t know anything about her, I saw her for the first time here” Bob touched his jaw, thinking about something, maybe trying to remember something about her, if Frank knew her, there was no way he hadn’t ever heard anything about the goddess of the moon.

“that’s okay, the less you know, the better.” Gerard replied, trying to continue his word but Frank bitched.

“that’s why you should read more books you douchebag” he seemed to be too proud of himself for knowing something Bob didn’t know and Mikey smiled at that.

“calm down, kid and let me explain” Gerard said, as if he didn’t just call a 25 years old man ‘kid’. What the... Frank raised his eyebrows, Gerard opened his mouth to say something but Frank cut him off. “I’m not your kid, you know how old I am right?”

“do I seem like I care?” Gerard asked, turning his head to look at Frank.

“what the fuck? Then don’t call me a kid!”

“according to your height, you have to be like 20 and that’s still kid” Gerard uttered and looked at the computer again. Bob and Mikey were having problems trying not to laugh.

Frank couldn’t believe his ears, what the fuck was this man even thinking, he looked at Mikey, asking him the answer for this with his eyes, but Mikey folded. Oh come on Frank, think of something rude, something very fucking rude to say.

“you know what?” he started. “First, I’m twenty fucking five years old and second, I may be short but not where it matters, I have a dick twice your size”

“woohoo, hey” Bob couldn’t hide his shock.

Frank saw how Mikey widened his eyes and signed Frank to shut up, honestly, they knew Frank could say anything but still, this was enough, he warned Frank too many times that he shouldn’t talk to Gerard like that.

“oh, you have a dick twice my size” Gerard repeated, taking his eyes away from the screen and turning around with his whole body to stare at Frank. “I have not got any idea why your height is not letting me think what you said is true”

Frank thought for a moment, before blurting out the words that probably would bring him nothing but problems. “well, I can definitely prove you my truth” he raised his eyebrows, smirking a little and not taking his eyes away from Gerard, but when he said that, he should’ve known what was coming after that. Mikey widened his eyes even more and that was it, Bob couldn’t help it and he burst out laughing with his while body.

“Bob!” Mikey became angry. “and Frank! Stop it now! That’s enough, you two! Why do you always have to fight?”

Frank brought his eyes from Mikey to Gerard again, who was refusing to look away from Frank. He didn’t know what was coming after this, what was Gerard’s reaction going to be but as always, of course, he just turned around again and ignored Frank, looking at that Selene again. After all, Frank was pleased of himself, he smiled under his breath and sighed a little. He was trying not to meet Mikey’s eyes, avoiding the looks he gave, because he knew exactly the way Mikey had to be looking at him, he ignored that and looked at Bob, who had finally stopped laughing.

 “she’s not just the goddess of the moon” Frank heard Gerard say and rolled his eyes. what was up with that man, why was he so emotionless.. “ I’m surprised you didn’t know about her.  Nearly everyone here know her as a goddess of the moon, I repeat, nearly everyone.“ he paused for a second. “but she’s also a mother of vampires”

“of what?” Bob asked, he was too much into that freakin angel.

Gerard gave Mikey a look. “a mother of vampires, that’s just a myth.”

“yeah, vampires don’t exist” Frank concluded. He remembered how Gerard laughed the last time he said supernatural things didn’t exist. This time he didn’t laugh, he just continued talking, ignoring Frank.

“the etymology of Selene is uncertain, but if the name is of Greek origin, it’s connected to the word ‘selas’ which means light. Some of them believe that Selene was an older moon goddess that was later replaced by Artemis in myth”

Bob raised his eyebrows, scrunching them together in confusion.

“how do you know that?” he asked, still looking at that picture of Selene. “you know? I just remembered mom telling me something about her and I didn’t know she was a god of something, and plus you say everyone know her as only the goddess of the moon.”

Gerard sighed. “I said ‘nearly’, that clearly doesn’t include all of them.”

“do you know much about vampires?” Frank asked out loud suddenly, looking at Gerard and rubbing his hand over his jaw.

Gerard paused, Frank didn’t know if he was going to get an answer to that but after some seconds Gerard replied. “yes”

“why?”

Gerard rolled his eyes. “I just know okay? I’m interested in them.” He didn’t really seem that comfortable talking about vampires and Mikey opened his mouth to say something but Frank cut him off.

“do you think they are real?”  he asked, leaning against the couch and looking at Gerard carefully. Gerard turned around to face him, resting against the couch with his hand, it was obvious that Frank was trying to make him uncomfortable.

He took a deep breath. “I’m not gonna answer to that” and leaving Frank disappointed, he stood up. “ you shouldn’t really tell anyone you know her as a mother of vampires around here, by the way”

Frank didn’t know that was a joke or he just informed them about something stupid, so he just folded, of course he had to say something against Gerard and giving Bob a look, asked. “why the hell?”

“because I said so” that was Gerard’s perfect answer. Frank raised his eyebrows.

“if that’s so, I’m gonna do the exact opposite thing” he hissed and waited for Gerard’s reaction patiently. Mikey bit his bottom lip and gestured Frank not to talk like that to his brother. Gerard was searching for something on the table, when he heard what Frank had said and slowly turned around. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared at Frank, but after some seconds, he smiled, leaving Frank and Bob surprised. “do whatever you want” he uttered and turned his back to the three of them, continuing his job.

Bob and Frank exchanged looks and Frank folded. “that’s what I always do anyway”

Gerard didn’t answer anything, suddenly Frank felt a little anger with him, the way he was saying things and not explaining stuff to them, the way he’d confuse them, or say something stupid, not really making sense but making them believe that was the exact truth, sometimes it frightened him, without a good reason, sometimes it just made him angry, or pissed off and made him want to just say ‘fuck you’ to Gerard or stab him in the face. He was confusing Frank maybe a little too much.

Bob was still looking at Gerard’s back but then brought his eyes to the bottles of beer on the table, he took one, sighing and gulped some in the glass. Frank watched him doing this doubtfully, he didn’t know whether to drink or not. He wasn’t on that mood actually but on the other hand he wanted beer, he wanted to get drunk. Suddenly he felt an eye on him and noticed how Mikey shook his head, smiling. “don’t Frank, don’t” he said, that was why Frank loved him that much, he could always get what worried him, Frank smiled as well and leaned against the couch, leaving the thought of drinking and slowly closing his eyes to concentrate, suddenly he felt an eye on him and opened his right eye a little, to discover Gerard giving him a weird look. He frowned and opened his both eyes, but as he did so, Gerard looked away.

“oh” he suddenly heard how Bob groaned and leaving Gerard alone, glanced at him, wondering what was up. “increase the volume on TV” Bob put the glass on the table as fast as he could and looked at Mikey.

“what’s up?” Mikey asked, while doing what Bob told him to do.

Bob whispered. “oh my god,” he paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes. “haven’t you heard about that today?”

“about what?” Frank asked and looked at TV. “oh my..” he couldn’t finish his word, the horrible picture on TV nearly made him go blind. “what the..”

He kept silent. The reporter was telling that four people in New Jersey had been found dead, but not just dead. They’ve been tore apart. The picture was horrible. One of them had his throat ripped off and was covered in blood. the other ones were just too hard to identify, what the actual fuck. TV said that predators were to blame because it happened near the trees last night but people who lived nearby that wood had no idea, they hadn’t even heard anyone scream or something and now government’s warning people living near the trees to live their houses for a little while, because they’re gonna do a research, it’s not the first time, people have been found dead just like that before too, but it had been a while since that.

“… it’s the horrible situation, we’ve talked to local people and we couldn’t get a proper answer to our questions, most of them haven’t seen anything but there also was an idea of a human doing that. We’re totally destroyed, we can’t really get how one could do this to a living person, but everything could happen, besides locals say that no predators are in those woods. People who claim they saw a human during that time also said that he had to be the age between 25-30. That’s the only information we have just for now, we’ll be in touch”

Frank and Mikey were quiet for a while. Thinking of a human doing those horrible things made them shiver. how could someone do that? Bob knew this happened already, he listened to the news in the morning but he still couldn’t get over that fact. But anyways, how could one person win against four?

“25-30, not even close” they heard someone say suddenly and they all looked at Gerard’s direction who seemed not to care about what happened and was slowly doing his job. Mikey raised his eyebrows in response.

“Gee, did you say anything?” he asked, his face was slowly becoming paler, it seemed like he got something. “I’m asking you” he added, when he noticed Gerard wasn’t going to answer to him.

“nothing you should know” Gerard replied, not looking at him. And with saying “ill be in my room”, leaving Mikey devastated, he took some books and headed for the stairs. At first Mikey couldn’t say anything, maybe because his brother was too rude to him in front of his friends and at some point he felt a little embarrassed but Frank and Bob tried to let go of it, Bob didn’t hear what Gerard said anyway and asked Frank to repeat but Frank pretended he didn’t hear it as well. In fact, he did hear it and it sounded a little weird. Not even close?- what did that mean, like he knew who did that, or?

“I’ll be here in minutes” he heard Mikey say and after some seconds, Mikey was on his way to the stairs, following Gerard.

“I wasn’t mistaken when I said I didn’t like that guy” Bob whistled and raised an eyebrow at himself.

Frank didn’t say anything, he just sighed, frowning. Gerard’s and Mikey’s relationship maybe was none of his business but it seemed like those brothers had many problems. In fact, Gerard was the one, who had to had problems because Mikey wasn’t like him, he was naïve, he was sensitive, he couldn’t hurt anyone. They were so different from one-another, it was confusing, how could two brothers be this different from each-other? Frank got right then, why Mikey hadn’t told anything about Gerard to them. He really had to be too hard to explain, like, he didn’t even seem to care, yeah, maybe Frank and Bob were nothing to him but Mikey? It didn’t seem like he cared of Mikey either, the way he ignored him, Frank just wanted to punch him and yell at him not to  hurt Mikey but maybe he knew that better than Frank because yeah, maybe Frank considered Mikey as his brother but Gerard and Mikey had the same blood. But after all, family isn’t just blood. Family, that’s people who care of one-another and stand by each-other’s side no matter what, maybe that was why Frank thought Mikey was his family, not just Mikey. He considered all of his friends, Matt, Ray and Bob family too, even though they weren’t connected with blood.

Mikey didn’t come down for too long, Frank decided to go look for them, especially when he heard screams too but Bob didn’t let him, because it was their business and once and for all, they had to talk about stuff and find a salvation, solve their problems. It wouldn’t be that nice of them if they interrupted so they decided to stay where they were, even though it was hard.

When some minutes passed and the screams weren’t stopping, Frank decided it was enough and ignoring Bob, stood up but  he was stopped because, right then, Gerard made his way downstairs, he was out of control, seemed like he was angry.

“I’m leaving!” he screamed and with quick footsteps, he went to the door to take his coat, throwing Frank a glance on the way out. “fucking whores” they heard him whisper because he slammed the door behind him and went.

“what the fuck?” Bob yelled after him and looked at Frank. at some point, Frank wanted to run after him and beat him like a bitch but suddenly his attention was drown to Mikey, who ran from the second floor down as fast as he could.

“did he go?” he asked, breathing hard. “fuck” he gasped, throwing the vase from the table to the wall. “fuck!”

“hey Mikes” Bob tried to get close to him. “calm down”

Mikey rest against the wall, banging his head on it and after some seconds he slid down, pulling his knees up to his chest. “he’s a whore” he whispered. He was so hurt, from his eyes, you could see it. Frank knew him maybe a little too much to know what was going on in his head and it hurt. It hurt watching him like that. He went closer to him, bending down next to him and rubbed his hand over his shoulder, giving Bob a look. “calm down we’re here” he whispered. “everything’s okay”

“no Frank, it’s not, okay?” Mikey yelled suddenly, causing Frank to take a step back. “it’s not okay, he’s different, he’s changed and I can’t handle this!”

“don’t make me beat him” Bob warned him. “I don’t want him to hurt you”

Mikey took a deep breath and stared at his knees. “he’s not hurting me, he just needs to be understood and I can’t do that”

“hey, do you want us to leave?” Frank asked, suddenly he felt like Mikey needed some time alone. He knew Mikey too good to know he wasn’t going to harm himself.

“can you?” Mikey asked, maybe he thought if he asked them to leave it’d hurt them. Well yeah, he was mistaken. “if it’s okay with you”

“oh come on, we’ll be at Bob’s, if you need anything, call us okay?” Frank said and patted him on his arm. “you really need some time alone”

Mikey didn’t say anything and watched Frank get up, but then grabbed his arm and stopped him for a moment. “thank you, Frank” he said. Frank always understood him and that meant a lot.

“oh, you’re welcome, brother” Frank smiled and stood up. “don’t forget to call us” he warned and gave Bob a look, Bob was hesitating.

“wouldn’t it be good if, I mean, one of us stayed?” he asked. “I mean, promise that you won’t do anything stup..”

He was cut off by Frank. “oh, come on Bob, he’s not a child, right Mikey?”

“yeah” Mikey nodded. “thank you guys”

Bob nodded in response, he was still hesitating but Frank grabbed him by his arm and let him go outside first. “keep in touch” he told Mikey before closing the door.

“we shouldn’t be living him alone” Bob uttered.

“I know him too good. He isn’t gonna do anything” Frank concluded and took his phone to call for taxi.

“not the taxi please, let’s walk” Bob offered and Frank put his phone back in his pocket.

-

It was already dark outside. Gerard hadn’t showed up and Mikey couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t bring himself to bed, because he knew Gerard had to be doing something miserable. He couldn’t handle himself, it hurt. Gerard had changed a lot, but maybe that wasn’t exactly his fault, nothing was his fault, to be honest. It hurt remembering the sweet childhood, when they could hang out and not care of anything, when they had parents by their side. When Mikey lost his mom and dad, that was the worst day of his life. After they died, Gerard was taking care of him, watching over him but that didn’t last long. life doesn’t give you anything good without taking it away after some time. It sucked. Somehow, he never felt whole during those times, when Gerard wasn’t there, when he arrived he thought everything was going to get better but he was mistaken, but why was he not going to give up and just continue trying? Maybe that was love.

He made coffee for himself and made himself comfortable on the coach, just staring at the wall. When was he going to get back? Or when he said he was leaving, did he mean that he was… leaving like, forever? Not going back? Hell. No, his clothes were still there, his books and his personal stuff, everything was there and Mikey knew those were too important to him, he didn’t know what his brother was doing with those books, but it seemed like they mattered. He stood up to go to the bathroom to pee. After he washed his hands, he just stood at the sink, he splashed some water on his face and stared at his reflection in the mirror. Oh fuck, he forgot to call Frank. yeah, he was going to do that right then, well if he wasn’t asleep cause it was like 3:00 am already. He was drying his hands when he heard the sound of the door.

Oh, god. Mikey let out a sigh of relief, Gerard was back.

Then he heard footsteps too, yeah, obviously, Gerard was home, fuck, finally.

 He dried his hands as fast as he could and opened the bathroom door, expecting Gerard in the living room. He was right, Gerard was home. Mikey stood there and watched him, not going to say anything, Then he closed the door and stared at Gerard for some seconds.

 “I’m back” Gerard was the one who said something. He was still standing by the closed door. “I didn’t think you were awake”

Mikey didn’t reply anything. He was still angry, he made his way to the couch and sit there, taking his mug from the coffee table.

“I think we need to talk” it was Gerard again. He went closer and set next to Mikey, sighing. The curiosity was still killing Mikey, he wished Gerard’d say where he had been himself but it seemed like he wasn’t going to say anything about that, but still, Mikey wasn’t going to say a thing to him. He was happy Gerard was back alive though.

“I’m talking to you” Gerard uttered when he got Mikey wasn’t going to say anything. He was still quiet, not looking at Gerard and staring down at his mug. He heard how Gerard took a deep breath and kept silent for a little while. Mikey thought he was done talking.

  “why are you acting like this?” he asked then, he was keeping his voice measured to hide his anger, which obviously was in his voice.

“like what?” Mikey asked when he couldn’t be quiet anymore. He didn’t take his eyes away from the mug though.

“you know it” Gerard raised his eyebrows. “Mike look at me” he said when he saw no reaction on Mikey’s face.

Mikey sighed, putting the mug on the coffee table and turned around, to face Gerard. “Gerard.. I’m not acting like anything” he said, biting his bottom lip. That’d make Gerard angry.

Gerard smiled, more out of pain and shook his head. “okay” he nodded, he seemed concerned, just like Mikey. “listen to me, then. I’ve been thinking about everything and I just think that I’m better off alone so, I’m leaving, I shouldn’t have arrived here in the first place”

There was a silence. Mikey was quiet for some seconds and Gerard couldn’t bring himself to look up and look into his eyes but Mikey made it easy for him. “you know what?” he asked. “fuck you, just.. fuck you, for being a coward every time” he stared into Gerard’s eyes to find an answer but his eyes were telling nothing.

Gerard rolled his eyes, getting a little closer to Mikey and pointing him to calm down. “ I’ve got my reasons”

“why did you arrive if you were going to have ‘your freakin reasons’ and were going to leave anyway? And which fucking reasons are you even talking about?”

“I’m scary and you know that” Gerard concluded.

“you’re not, you’re just making yourself look like that”

“I am, okay? You know what I am, I know what I am and we both know why I can’t be here, “Gerard finished.

“yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to be rude to everyone around me and that clearly doesn’t mean you have to be alone forever”

“but.. Mikey, you don’t understand”

“believe me I do”

“if you did, you’d let me out the last time I asked to go” Gerard raised his eyebrows and looked at Mikey carefully for an answer, the thing was that Gerard wanted to go out the day before but Mikey didn’t let him for his reasons.

“how could I? how could I when I knew what.. oh god” Mikey trailed off. He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Gerard just smiled painfully and tried to avoid what was coming next.

“all im asking for “ Mikey started, his voice shaking. “is that be good to my friends and I swear they’ll be good to you too” he finished and looked at Gerard. Gerard was silent for a little while looking down at his hands and playing with his thumbs. Then Mikey saw how Gerard smiled a little, it was a sad smile, a smile of destruction and pain. “you don’t know why I came here” he whispered.

“I don’t. I don’t know what made you do that, but i will let you in anytime and you know that” Mikey replied. “you can stay here how long you fucking want, but if you do that, you’ll have to learn how to live like us”

 “oh god’ Gerard breathed. “we seriously need to talk about this” he was sick of Mikey not understanding anything, but why was he expecting him to? He didn’t know what Gerard was going through. “you know I can’t deny my insides forever, “

“but we can do something about it” Mikey uttered.

“we can’t, we’re doing it since the day I arrived but no result” Gerard replied. “no matter how much I try, how much I try not to hurt you and be good to your dumb friends, it doesn’t help, I just don’t belong here”

“but you do belong to me” Mikey said. “and It gets better I promise” he stared into Gerard’s eyes looking for a silent confirmation.

But Gerard disappointed him. “I can never make it”

“don’t say that, have faith in god Gee” Mikey replied but he saw everything on Gerard’s face so there was no need for an answer. Gerard didn’t believe in god.

“oh my god. Everything’s so complicated” he muttered, leaning against the coach and staring at the wall, raising his hands to put around his head.

“nothing’s complicated, the answer’s right there. I’m new and I can’t control myself, after all, I’ve lost everything I had”

 “but you still have me, my friends who..” Mikey couldn’t finish his sentence.

“fuck your friends” Gerard said firmly and angrily. “I don’t care of them, don’t mention them in front of me” he added, It was annoying him.

“don’t you dare say that ever again” Mikey started, he was staring at Gerard bitterly. “they try everything to be good to you, to make you feel comfortable and this is what you do? They were here when you weren’t, they helped me when you left, you know that? Why should they want to be your friend when you don’t want it? why should they respect you when you don’t want to respect them?” Mikey complained, he didn’t get what Gerard wanted, if he could read his mind just for a second. Ugh.

“I hope you’re not expecting me to get good friends with them right?” Gerard asked, raising his eyebrows. Did Mikey really expect this? Did he really think Gerard did all of it because he liked them? God no, he did it for Mikey.

“why not?” Mikey asked. It seemed he was getting angrier too.

“because they’re not like me, I only respect them for being friends of yours”

“you know what? They only respect you for being my brother too”

“I know, I don’t have friends, don’t want one and will never have” Gerard finished, as if it was his final decision about his life.

Mikey shook his head. “oh” he said softly, taking his eyes away from Gerard and looking down at his hands. “it hurts watching you like this” he whispered.

Gerard didn’t say anything. That made Mikey even angrier. Instead of explaining stuff, saying something, he was sitting there, silent.

“okay just, listen,” he was not going to shut up until he wasn’t going to hear the answer he wanted from Gerard. “ we’ll figure everything out, you just have to start living like a normal person, forget everything you’ve done in past, just start acting like us, just do it and it won’t be that hard, listen, you can...” he couldn’t finish his sentence, he was annoying Gerard so much, was he really not getting it or was he acting like he didn’t?

“god Mikey” Gerard yelled, giving an exasperated laugh. “do you seriously find that useful?” Mikey didn’t answer anything but from his face expression, it was obvious that he was serious. “ what am I going to do whenever I’m hungry?” Gerard asked, raising his eyebrows, it seemed like Mikey had an explanation to everything.

“right,” Mikey uttered, as if he just remembered something. “ I don’t know, about that, we can figure something out”

“what the fuck Mikey? Do you really not get it, or do you just act like this?”

“I get everything, you’re the one who doesn’t get a thing” Mikey replied, he was right about to cry.

Gerard banged his head against the coach, closing his eyes. “so, I don’t understand a thing”

 Mikey looked at him quietly for some seconds, not knowing what he did wrong that he couldn’t make Gerard understand it properly. “ you know you have to be away from my friends right?” Mikey asked but when he saw the way Gerard looked at him, he just shook his head. “why the fuck am I talking to you about this? Why am I explaining? Why am I asking you to be good to them? Why am I fucking asking you to be normal, to act good, to love people I love, why the fuck, just..” he trailed off. “it won't work anyway. You’re a fucking vampire, you have no feelings..!” he yelled, he was breathing hard, he regretted what he said right after he finished his sentence but he couldn’t back down. Gerard looked like he just got slapped. Even though Mikey was right that Gerard didn’t have any feelings, he knew that Gerard cared of him, cared of him much.

“oh, I guess you’re afraid of staying with me right? You think that I will kill you right? Mikey, you’re afraid that I will eat you? What the fuck? I haven’t forgotten that you’re my brother, despite of the other shit I still love you, I still have feelings, I do!” Gerard screamed. Mikey widened his eyes, raising his eyebrows.

“why do you act like this then?” he asked, looking down and not looking into Gerard’s eyes because he really thought he said something he shouldn’t have said.

“cause you’re right, I’m a monster and I don’t have feelings for your friends, I care only for you, that’s the honest truth and if you’re afraid that I’ll eat you alive, I think it’s even better now if I go” Gerard replied, trying to stand up but Mikey grabbed him by his arm and stopped him, he wanted to tell him to stay for a minute, when he noticed something on Gerard’s shirt. Since he was always wearing black, it was too hard to identify anything but... Mikey froze, there was blood.

“blood?” he asked, eyes widening and letting go of Gerard’s hand as fast as he could. “there’s blood there” he uttered and the terrified look covered his face.

“what? Where?” Gerard asked immediately, shaking his head wildly. “no, it’s just a water” trying to smile and cover it up but it was too obvious.

“what the fuck have you done?” Mikey asked. “don’t get close to me” he said immediately, when Gerard tried to touch his hand. “have you eaten anyone? Were those people eaten by you too? What the fuck are you even thinking?”

“I haven’t eaten anyone! And it’s not blood” Gerard tried to defend himself but his arguments were weak.

“oh god” Mikey closed his eyes to concentrate, don’t imagine, don’t imagine, he told himself and shook his head. “oh god”

Gerard took a deep breath, Mikey could feel his blood hitting up, he couldn’t calm himself down. He was looking down and god knew what Gerard was doing but it wasn’t hard to guess, he was just staring down at Mikey and trying too hard not to yell at him, he clenched his hands into fists, trying to control himself.

“so, do you want me to die?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

Mikey didn’t answer anything and thought for a moment. Gerard was right, he was right, if he wasn’t going to eat anyone, he was going to die, yeah, of starvation, but it was hard. Analyzing everything, Mikey decided one thing, that he thought he’d never say before.

"you can eat whoever the fuck you want" he uttered, not believing his own ears. He couldn’t believe this was coming from his mouth. it made him sick to even think of someone dying because of his brother, because his brother wanted blood but what else was Gerard going to do? Mikey wanted him to be with him because Gerard was the only one he'd left, they were supposed to be together and they were going to. Mikey had to surrender something for this and he was going to surrender everything he could. he wanted Gerard right next to him. he knew that person couldn't get two things at the same time, you have to surrender something in order to get another. Mikey preferred staying with Gerard and compared to how much he wanted this, people's lives were absolutely nothing.

“is it okay for you?” Gerard asked doubting and getting back to his old position, next to Mikey and looking at him carefully.

"yeah it is as long as.." Mikey started but Gerard finished his sentence instead. "i won't hurt your friends" he smiled weakly.

“yeah” Mikey nodded "okay"

There was a silence there for some minutes. They didn’t know what to say to each-other. Mikey really regretted saying what he said because he knew Gerard really cared of him. That’s why he arrived here and refused his old life. He knew how hard it’d be staying there, with normal people, without people like him around him. He knew and despite of this, he still came there, to Mikey to stay with him and care of him. Mikey knew this. Gerard was hard to communicate with but he still cared and had feelings. He was just trying not to have because life was shit for him, his life was a big bullshit. Mikey knew this and he would do anything to make Gerard better. He couldn’t change the fact that Gerard was a vampire but he would bring Gerard back to normal life somehow. He would try this, even if he failed, he would try it maybe for once.

Mikey couldn’t stand that silence.

“Gerard” he said then.

“yeah”

“that ring, where do you have it from? Is it golden?” he asked, for some minutes, he thought it was his marriage ring too, like Frank.

“oh nah” Gerard said smiling, looking down at his ring. “it’s not golden, it’s just that, well, you know that vampires are afraid of the sunlight, um, when you go on the sunlight your skin is burning really hard. So we have these rings with initials on them and it protects us from burning on the sunlight” Gerard replied. Mikey was confused. Wow, he thought, it was really surprising wasn’t it? You have some fucking ring that protects your body from sunlight, it was more like magic.

“well, you can’t walk in sun without that?” Mikey asked, raising his eyebrows and looking confused and amazed at the same time.

“yeah, I can’t” Gerard said. He was laughing at Mikey’s reaction, he looked a little terrified of this. Gerard waved his hand, telling Mikey not to worry, it was not that scary.

Mikey smiled a little. Then it was a silence again, unbearable silence. Mikey thought it was better if he left because he wanted to be alone to think of some stuff and he thought Gerard needed to  be alone too because it seemed like he  was deeply in thoughts about something so Mikey stood up, to go upstairs, he felt too sleepy.

“I’ll just go to sleep” he said and made his way to the stairs. Gerard’s eyes followed him but he suddenly remembered he wanted to ask something.

“wait!” he told Mikey.

Mikey didn’t turn around, he had his back to Gerard, he wasn’t going to, though, he didn’t want to see that blood on his shirt again. “what do you want?” he asked.

“is.. er.. “ there was a pause. “is Frank, like, a vampire or werewolf or um.. something like that?” he asked.

Mikey turned around immediately, frowning, what kind of a question was that? He stared at Gerard brusquely.

“No” he replied. “Why?”

Gerard let out a sigh. “just wondering”

“you sure?” Mikey asked, what was up?

Gerard nodded, without saying a word. Mikey didn’t trust him in this but he just nodded too and left the room.

“you’re a monster, you have no feelings..”  Gerard repeated in his head and watched Mikey go upstairs, until he didn’t disappear. He expected this from anyone but not from Mikey. He may have apologized but it was what he really thought. In fact, vampires used to be human too. as much as one could want to, there was no way to get rid of your human emotions once you have experienced them. Mikey couldn’t get it. Gerard sighed a little again and looked down at his shirt, he should’ve been more careful and should’ve made sure there was no blood on him. Fuck, he didn’t need Mikey to see that. Somehow he thought he lost Mikey’s faith in him. In fact, he lied to him when he said Mikey was the main reason he arrived, it wasn’t. he just needed to live in New-Jersey, it was necessary, he had his reasons, well, to say he hadn’t missed Mikey would be lie, he had, that’s why he decided to stay there, even though he didn’t have to, in fact, it’d be better if he stayed away from him for his own safety, but he couldn’t. he thought it was his responsibility, after all, to look out for his little brother, and during all those years, he felt guilt for the first time, guilt for leaving him alone when he needed Gerard the most. He smiled at that bitterly. God what a huge asshole he was.

Suddenly he heard a phone call, a phone call? Oh, it was coming from his coat. He reached for it in his pocket. Adam? Oh fuck, finally, his face lit up as he saw who was calling. He answered It as fast as he could.

“Adam?”

There was a pause. “it’s not Adam, he’s in trouble, you gotta help”


	5. That's where out freedom ends

it was dark in the room, unbearable darkness, you couldn’t really see anything despite of red lines on the wall, not just lines, there were red circles and pentagrams drawn too. The terrible smell was all over the room. it wasn’t empty. Two guys were standing in the middle of the room, right in front of a circle drawn on the floor with a chalk.

“okay” the one said, voice deep. “take the book”

The other nodded and headed somewhere. “which door should I open?”

“north one” the first guy replied and the other did what he was told.

As soon as he opened the door, the first guy took chalk and painted pentagram in that circle on the floor, putting the candles the other guy lit on the top of every angle of the pentagram. Then he put the vessel in the middle of the circle and sat right in front of it.  He took the knife and cut his veins, pouring some blood in the vessel. The other one sprinkled the salt around the first guy and stood in front of him, with some book in his hands.

“should I start?” he asked.

“not yet” the first guy said, as he was done pouring his blood into the vessel. “For thou” he started, closing his eyes and shaking the ware. “ who sleeps in fire, heed this call, rise up and obey, treck on through the Mortal door, assemble flesh and walk once more..!”

The blood in the vessel started heating up, boiling. The guy lifted it in the air and sipped some. “start it!” he yelled then and the other guy opened the book.

“O dea tenebris” he started. “mater immortalibus puer tuus fac me sicut renascentur” paused then.

“continue” the guy sitting in the middle of the pentagram yelled.

“mea lux vestra absorbere…, liceat mihi locus ad tenebras sicut ex utero immortals….,” he paused again as he felt how he floor under him started shaking. He was uncertain whether to continue it or not, he thought for a moment but there was no time for backing down right then. “filios tuos in ulnis quibus invocaverit….. te frater o luna lumen puer..” the room started shaking so badly it was hard to stand properly, the guy couldn’t keep the balance and fell to the floor. The other guy, in the middle of pentagram was quiet, he had his eyes closed.

“finish it.. I feel it, it’s close” he said in a different tone and the other guy looked in the book to read out the last sentence ever. “ tuus fac me sirut renasce…!!”

___________

Frank was laying on his bed, he couldn’t sleep, especially when the weather outside was too bed. It was raining too hard. He was talking to Bob on skype. Bob had changed his skype name from "Bob" to a really funny name "BobLovesGirls"- which made Frank laugh every time, because what a stupid username right? who does that now.

"your new skype name still makes me laugh like fuck" Frank laughed and put his laptop on his lap, he was laying on his bed, half naked. Well, Talking to Bob always made him feel better because Bob was an asshole.

"fuck you!" Bob teased, he was laying on his bed too, as Frank saw, he had just his jeans on. "i like it" he continued and grinned.

"yeah, sure, you love girls" Frank laughed again, it was always Bob, who was coming up with these awesome ideas and usernames, Frank'd said it thousand times, that he was a huge asshole, he loved laughing at Bob so much. "Bob loves girls" he repeated then again and smiled.

"yours should be FrankLovesBoys" Bob hissed, because Frank was annoying him so much and laughed at his own joke.

"ha-ha" Frank fake-laughed and pointed his middle finger at Bob. "i like girls too"

"oh, come on! you know you don't" Bob laughed. He could never believe this shit, that Frank was interested in chicks.

"you don't know shit jackass" Frank replied, holding his laptop tighter, because it was falling off of his lap. "I'm not gay, you idiot, I'm bi"

"yeah yeah, like you say" Bob bitched, he knew Frank better than Frank knew himself.

Frank rolled his eyes. "okay, your username still sucks"

Bob didn't say anything, it was like nine pm, Frank hadn’t planned doing anything that night, he wanted to go to club, get drunk and fuck as many dudes as possible but then he came up with a better idea.

"let's go to Mikes tonight" he said. Bob was glancing at something, it was clear that he wasn't looking at Frank on the screen, he was maybe on twitter and was looking at some chick's nudes.

"nah man" he said after some seconds. "I don't wanna see that Gerard dude"

Frank wasn't surprised of what Bob said. "Dude!" he started. "I know you don't like him, but don't make Mikey see it okay?"

"I don't need you to remind me of that, asshole" Bob folded his arms. He had his laptop really close to his face and only his huge face and big blue eyes were visible. It was kind of funny, he hadn't shaved for like a week. Beard looked good on him to be honest, Frank liked it, but he was never ever going to admit that to Bob, because he never complimented him.

"whore" Frank rolled his eyes. He wasn't surprised, that Bob didn't like Gerard. Gerard always used to ignore them, well, not really always but sometimes he could just don't listen to them and ignore their question, really, they hadn't seen him for days, Gerard rarely ever hung out with them, it depended on a mood he was on. He wasn't smiling that often and that annoyed Bob the most , person who didn't smile, seemed stupid for him, because how could you not smile, like at all during a day? it was very weird for him. He didn't like Gerard maybe the most between them, Ray didn't hate on him, Ray didn't love doing that, he wasn't that kind of person, neither did Matt, or Frank, you could say that Frank liked his attitude to certain things. his theories, which were totally weird and crazy. Sometimes he could say stupid theories about things and make you want to stab him, because he thought what he liked, and you couldn't really make him think opposite, he was stubborn as fuck. sometimes he would tell different stories about vampires and monsters, that was interesting, only sometimes, because most of the times, he’d end up teasing Frank and it was annoying him, sometimes when boys were hanging out, he’d sit alone in the corner and stare at Frank. that look made Frank shiver, it was like he was trying to get into his soul.

Frank’s problem was that he liked Gerard. He couldn’t get why. He knew he was rude, he knew Gerard wouldn’t care of him, he didn’t love anyone but Mikey, he knew that but he still liked him, like there was something attractive in that man, well, he was handsome from the outside, of course, but Frank was talking about the inside part. There was this something, he liked in Gerard, maybe the way he was treating them? He didn’t know. The fact was, he liked Gerard and thought he wasn’t that bad.

“okay, I just gotta go” Bob uttered and Frank was back from his thoughts.  “I feel sleepy as fuck”

“okay” he replied. “see ya tomorrow dude”

Bob hang up. Frank closed his laptop and put it on the table, next to his bad. What the fuck, the weather was getting worse and worse. It was thundering and storming, like really? It was the middle of summer and the weather like this? Frank stood up to look out of the window, it felt like the sky was falling off. The view was terrible, to be honest. The sky had never been blacker than that.

“is god angry about something?” Frank bitched and closed the curtains, not to have to watch it thunder, when he was a little he used to be afraid of storming, not to mention his fear of thundering. He decided to sleep already and headed for the bed when it thundered so hard that he jumped some inches in the air.

“what the fuck?” he asked, looking at the window. “can it get any worse?” and laid on bed, causing it to dip slightly as he did so. He just had his pajama pants on, shirtless. Oh god, he remembered what he was like when he first saw Gerard. If he had been Gerard right then, he’d laugh at himself too hard. But despite that, The fact that Frank could attract anyone was too obvious, he could have sex with anyone he wanted, they never denied him. What a freakin prefect angel I am, he always used to say to his friends, they knew that too and in fact it was true, once Bob betted that Frank couldn’t ensure the certain girl to get laid with him, but he was sorely mistaken. At first Frank didn’t want to, cause he didn’t want to have sex with a girl but then he wanted to prove Bob wrong and he got that girl’s phone number in like five minutes. It was too funny, Bob lost a snickers that day.

That night finally passed, Frank put the pillow over his head, not to hear the thundering and fell asleep soon after doing that.

The other day, he discovered that his father had left, leaving Frank a letter telling that he’d be back soon.  Frank sighed. Perfect. He decided to leave house and go to his friends because it’d been a while since he hadn’t seen them. For a moment, it seemed like centuries had passed. Well, despite of the promise James made, he still didn’t show up for days but he was calling Frank more often and talking to him about stuff.  That wasn’t what Frank was asking for but whatever, James thought he was doing the right thing and at least that was better than not being able to hear anything from your own father for weeks. Frank spent those days with boys, at Ray’s house, hanging out and having fun. If it wasn’t for his friends, he didn’t know where he’d been in his life.

yeah, sometimes they made him angry, of course, but that was nothing, Frank was that kind of person, who forgot easily, if someone had hurt him. not sure, if it was good or bad but Frank never seemed to care of it. 

 

 Mikey was with them too but not too long, he always went too early reasoning Gerard was alone at home. Well, Gerard didn’t even seem to care about that, it’d been like a month or two since he arrived and he still didn’t seem to care.

Frank didn't know what that man wanted or what was he trying. sometimes he was so happy with them, sometimes you couldn't make him say a word, sometimes he would just get inside his room and not come out for a long time, sometimes he could just play ps with them. it was so strange but Frank could get that Gerard didn't like them much. the strangest thing of all of these, was that he used to stare at Frank much, as if he was going to get into his soul. Frank sometimes got frightened of that look, it used to tremble him all over his body sometimes. He didn’t know what caused Gerard to do that, but the fact was that sometimes, when Frank hadn’t even noticed Gerard was in the room, he’d feel an eye on him and it was always Gerard. It was weird, he always wondered why he used to look at him like that, there was this one time, when they were left alone in the kitchen which was rare because as days passed, Gerard was trying not to be left alone with Frank more and more. Frank didn't know what was up but he thought that maybe Gerard liked him the least and that was why. he didn't bother himself contacting with him either because he didn't care but that time, when they were left alone in the kitchen he thought that it was maybe time to ask Gerard why he kept staring at him like that because Frank could no longer take that.  

 

Gerard was washing his hands. Frank went in to take some beers from the fridge, he had a hangover and his head hurt like fuck, he needed beer.. he went to the fridge, surprising Gerard, he hadn’t noticed someone came in. He was amazed to find someone raiding in his refrigerator like that but he let It go, from incredibly tight jeans and the short sleeved shirt, showing all the tattoos he had got on his arms, Gerard got it was Frank, he folded and let Frank do whatever the fuck he wanted in his fridge, Frank looked behind from under his arm and smirked a little to find Gerard looking down at his ass but then looking away.

 

After he was done doing his job, he closed the fridge and slowly turned around to go back to the boys in the living room but he stopped for a minute, leaning against the counter, and looked at Gerard, who was drying his hands now. He felt Frank looking at him. 

 

"what?" he asked raising his eyebrows and looking back at Frank. Frank stood still for a moment but then narrowed his eyes and went closer to Gerard, putting the beer on the table. 

 

"can I ask you a question?" he asked, quietly.

 

"uh" Gerard sighed, was this going to be another stupid and senseless question? Like something about vampires. "yeah, of course" he said, despite himself.

 

"okay" Frank nodded happily, he, however, thought it'd be hard to make him answer. "why are you sometimes staring at me?" Frank asked. he didn't even stop for a moment, he asked it as if he was talking to his very old friend. 

 

"I'm what?" Gerard asked, raising his eyebrows, he didn’t expect that. Frank thought for a minute that Gerard thought he was too stupid to ask that but then remembered all the looks Gerard gave him and became more confident. “sorry, did I hear you correctly?”

 

"yeah, absolutely! sometimes you're looking at me as if you want to get into my soul and that's.. that's terrifying you know?" Frank answered. 

 

"oh yeah?" Gerard asked, he knew what Frank was talking about of course, but what was he supposed to answer? He couldn’t tell the truth. "I do?" he asked then, after some minutes of being quiet. 

 

"yeah, you do" Frank answered, he knew exactly what he was doing. 

 

"oh really?" Gerard asked. "I don't know, maybe that.. uh,, I hadn't noticed" he uttered. uh, what had he answered, that was so unbelievable, fuck, Gerard.

 

"wow, so, you're staring at me and you don't even know you do?" Frank asked. "I don't think so" he smirked. 

 

Gerard stopped for a moment, what made him ask this? Fuck, the silence was worse to stand than the senseless question of Frank so he decided to say something. “I guess, you’ve started seeing things”

 

“huh” Frank kind of laughed, letting a sigh out. He raised a hand to push hair out of his forehead.  “Gerard Way, always trying to tease me” he cleared his throat then and asked a question again. “won’t you tell me?”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Gerard answered, quickly, he had to think of something to say, come on, think Gerard. Where was his confidence gone?

 

Frank rolled his eyes. “I can’t even understand how you…” he couldn’t finish his sentence.

 

"you have freckles" Gerard blurted out suddenly, he, himself was surprised of his answer. God dammit Gerard, you freakin fuck, he told himself.

 

"oh" Frank uttered, the fuck? He tipped his head slowly to the right. “what?”

 

"yeah, you have freckles and I'm trying to count them" Gerard answered, he couldn’t take his words back, he didn't even know what he was saying, it was too stupid what he said but at least it was better than telling him the truth.

 

"freckles huh?" Frank smiled. "did you manage to count them all then?" asked then, surprised of Gerard’s answer.

 

"uh, no" Gerard answered, grabbing at his hair. " every time I'm about to finish you look at me and I look away because it'd seem weird." he said then. Was that believable? he couldn't think of any  other reason he could say. 

 

"oh, I see" Frank uttered, he smiled. "okay" nodded then, and if Frank smiled like that, it was no sign of any good. He suddenly went closer to Gerard, so that their noses were inches away from each-other. "the fuck is he doing?" Gerard asked to himself, not knowing what Frank had in his mind. He tried to step back but he was at the cupboard and he couldn’t. Frank was smiling, he didn't know what he was doing either at first, but he was doing nothing wrong, he was making Gerard easier to count his freckles if it was a true reason. 

 

"count them now, I'm not going to move" he breathed , making Gerard move a little away. Frank stopped him with his hands and went back to his old position. What the fuck was Frank doing? he was too close, Gerard could feel his breathing on his lips. "tell me the exact number" Frank whispered, getting even closer and narrowing his eyes. he wasn't going to kiss, of course, he just wanted Gerard to count his freckles because he said it was the right reason of why he kept staring at him.

Gerard looked right into his eyes, he wondered so much what this crazy motherfucker had in his mind right then, he would've given anything, just to read Frank's mind only for a second that time.

Frank kept staring at him, it seemed like he wasn't going to move anywhere, Gerard lied and Frank believed it. wow, Gerard could've never thought of someone believing this bullshit, well, it was possible that Frank didn't believe in it and wanted something else, but what would it be? why was he getting this close?

Gerard felt the agitation for the first time since the time he became a vampire, he got nervous, that was not in his character, he was never getting nervous and then there was Frank looking at Gerard persistently, suddenly his confidence was all gone. Fuck.

"what do you want?" Gerard asked quietly, looking into Frank's eyes and refusing to look away.

"I told you already" Frank replied. "count them now" he added then, whispering.

Fuck, what had Gerard have to do? That wasn’t a reason of course and he was not going to count them all in reality because he was too lazy and plus Frank really had freckles but they were hard to see and notice so it’d  be hard to actually count them.

“they’re.. they’re many” he uttered finally, making Frank smile like an idiot.

“I know they’re many” he breathed, smiling.  “okay” he nodded then. “will you look at me like that again?” asked, looking down at Gerard lips.

“uh” that was what Gerard managed to say. “i.. I won’t” he added then, hoping Frank would get away after saying that.

“good” Frank nodded and went back a little, so that their noses weren’t actually touching. “you had a chance, if that is why you keep staring at me, and you could count them but you didn’t” Frank started. “you won’t look at me again like that okay?” he asked then.

Uh, that motherfucker, all Gerard wanted to do at the moment was take Frank and beat him as hard as possible, because he made him nervous. Seriously? Gerard and nervous? That had never happened before. Oh how he wanted to bite Frank but he was trying not to because of Mikey. If Frank really knew who Gerard was he wouldn’t be this close to him and so free with him. And when Gerard wished this, Frank went back a little smiling, leaving Gerard alone. he headed for the counter to take his beers.

Fuck  this, fuck Mikey, I gotta make him see who I am, Gerard thought to himself, I won’t forgive him this and  grabbed him by his arm, before he could take beers,  pushing him up against the wall.

“ouch” Frank groaned. “the fuck are you doing?”

Gerard grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pressed him against the wall.

“what the hell do you want Iero?” he asked, making Frank moan a little because it hurt.

“let go of me”  he uttered and tried to escape from Gerard’s arms but Gerard didn’t let him.

“I didn’t hear you apologize yet” he hissed, his breathe hitting on Frank’s face and making him shiver. Frank tried to break free again but Gerard was too strong. Frank tried to scratch at his hand but Gerard pressed it harder instead, making Frank groan, because he couldn’t breathe.

“apologize!” Gerard repeated again, there was an anger in his voice, but Frank wasn’t going to. He never apologized.

“you’re so close I could kiss you” he blurted out instead. He could barely talk but he managed to say that and caused Gerard to widen his eyes.

“don’t forget who’s in charge here” he said and banged him against the wall a little. “ you never ever tell me  what to do, you understand me?” he asked.

“I never do what I’m told” Frank replied, he didn’t care that he was the one pinned up against the wall. He wasn’t going to beg for letting go.

“well, you’ll learn to” Gerard warned. “I don’t want to hit you”

“oh hit me?” Frank asked. “do it!”

Gerard laughed, “not because I care of you, jackass, I don’t want to hurt Mikey”

“oh, interesting” Frank raised his eyebrows. “I swear to fucking god, if you won’t let me go, I’ll kiss you”

“what kind of a human are you?” Gerard raised his eyebrows, pressing Frank even harder. “I’m trying to hit you and you’re offering me to kiss”

“I’m not offering” Frank corrected him, looking down at Gerard’s lips, yeah, they didn’t seem that bad. “I’m warning you”

“funny, huh?” Gerard laughed. “apologize!”

“do I stutter?” Frank asked, ironically. “or are you deaf?”

Gerard let out a little sigh and lowered his hands, taking a few inches back, hovering out of Frank’s personal space. “you have no freakin idea who I am, have you?”

“who are you?” Frank asked, pleased that Gerard backed down a little. “Mikey’s brother?”

“you’ll make me do, what I don’t want to, Iero” said Gerard. “now apologize!” he raised his voice.

Frank smiled. “I. Won’t.”

“I said apologize!” Gerard demanded, blocking the way when Frank tried to move. “I’m not letting you go”

Frank stared at him, it was surprising him how strong Gerard was, every time he tried to move, he blocked him with a great strength, it hurt his hand whenever Gerard grabbed it, but he wasn’t going to show it, he still refused to apologize and he really had to thank Mikey his whole life, because if he hadn’t come into the room, right then, Gerard would’ve punched him too hard and a punch from a vampire can kill you with no daubt.

“oh” Mikey let out a moan as he saw those two pressed against the wall like that.  He tried to say a word again but nothing came out. “w-wha..?”

“oh Mikey” Frank smiled and watched Gerard take off his hands off Frank’s collar, a pleased smile spreading all over his face. “hey there!”

Mikey looked at both of them in turn. “Gerard what the fuck is this?” he asked then, trying to hide the anger in his voice but failing.

“I had something on my shirt” Gerard said, without even blinking and Frank laughed at that. “and he took it off”

“do you really think I believe that?” Mikey widened his eyes. “amazing! My best friend and my brother!”

“wait, wait, wait,” Frank shook his head wildly, he raised his hands to point Mikey to calm down. “are you accusing me of..” he stopped for a moment. “kissing your dumb brother?”

“who’s dumb you little fuck,” Gerard said furiously, he wasn’t even trying to hide his rudeness.

“then what were you doing?” asked Mikey, ignoring Gerard’s sentence and the look Frank gave him for that. “what the fuck were you doing that close, against the wall?”

Frank took a deep breath and Gerard scrubbed his fingers over his face. “just calm down Mikey,”  he demanded.

Mikey’s eyebrows shot up. “really Gerard? Really?” he looked at him in his eyes and Gerard already knew what he was this angry about, oh come on, he was never going to have anything with Frank, he knew himself, that he was a vampire so that was impossible. He shook his head. “you don’t know a thing about me”

“what the fuck Mikey, are you serious?” Frank tried to neutralize the situation and made Mikey bring his eyes from Gerard to him.

“okay” he nodded. “if you tell me what you were doing, I’m not going to accuse you of anything you dumb fucks!”

Gerard and Frank exchanged looks. “right” Frank agreed, and looked at Gerard helplessly, he knew if he said the exact reason, he’d be all innocent, because Gerard was the one who was breaking the rules here, but if Mikey asked why Gerard was fighting to him, that wouldn’t make him all innocent, so, the idea of telling the truth wasn’t that good for him too. “as he said,” he started finally. “Gerard had something on his shirt and he didn’t know that, so I tried to take it off and suddenly I fell, because there was a chair in front of me and I hadn’t noticed it and he tried to catch him and that’s when you came in.” fuck Frank, something more believable.

“that’s so not him” Mikey narrowed his eyes and Frank hoped that Mikey’s character was going to help them get out of this situation. He believed every lie too easily, why the fuck wasn’t he believing this too?

“oh, you know what a fallen angel I am” Frank shrugged. “maybe he fell for me and forgot who he was” he laughed but when he saw Gerard’s face, he decided it’d be better to shut up. “okay, I’m joking” he uttered and patted on Mikey’s shoulder. “I’ll be in the living room”

“I’m coming too” Mikey replied to him, not taking his eyes away from Gerard and slowly turning around, following Frank to the living room. “we’ll talk about this later” he said with a warning tone and closed the door.

 

 

 

Gerard heard boys clapping hands as an appearance of them because they, and especially Frank, had maybe gone for too long.

 “fuck” he swore out loud.

%%%

“where have you been for so long Frank?” Bob asked after he finished clapping hands.

“I was speaking to Gerard” Frank said, as if there was nothing strange in it, putting beers on the table and sitting on the chair, making himself comfortable and trying to avoid the look Mikey gave him.

“wow” Ray uttered, he was surprised. How did Frank manage it.

“really?” Matt asked. “what did you do, dude, to make him say a word to you” he laughed, Mikey laughed too, he was okay with those jokes. Frank grinned. “god Matt” he thought to himself smiling,. If they really knew how Frank and Gerard “spoke” in the kitchen they wouldn’t be that surprised, but yeah, they maybe would be more.

 “you really deserved clapping hands” Bob laughed and took a beer to open and drink.

“so yeah” Ray started. “what was I saying..” and he continued speaking something but Frank was not listening. He was still thinking about the “kitchen thing”. It was strange, wasn’t it? he could rarely ever make Gerard speak something, communicate with him and what had he just done? He got too close to a person, who he hadn’t even known very well. Frank was crazy, everyone knew it, Frank knew it too himself. but what Gerard said, was it true? If it was, why didn’t he do  that right then? Maybe he lied, yeah, because who does that? And suddenly he decided to ask.

“guys, guys, do I have freckles?” he asked out loud. Ray was telling something and he stopped speaking and looked at Frank confused just like everyone.

“fleckles?” Bob raised his eyebrows. “let me see” he added and went a little closer to see if Frank had freckles. “yeah, you have”  he said then and moved away, back to his old position.

“okay, Frank, you have but weren’t you listening to what I said?” Ray asked confused.

“oh yeah” Frank said, he had no any clue what Ray was talking about but he thought it’d make Ray sad if he said no.

“then, what in the hell made you ask this question?” Ray asked.

“oh, someone told me I had it and I wondered if he was true”  Frank grinned.

Ray shook his head. He got that Frank wasn’t really listening but let it go. Matt looked away from Frank to Ray as a sign to continue speaking, Ray got that and did so.

 Frank had never noticed it before that he had freckles. Wow, maybe it was hard to see, that was why Bob went closer to see if he had them or not. What was Gerard doing right then? After that moment, maybe he was just eating? Because he didn’t care but if he didn’t, then why didn’t he just move, pushing Frank away? That was telling something, Gerard wasn’t that strange as he wanted himself to be. If he was, he wouldn’t care of Frank and he’d just push him, asking what the fuck? But he didn’t, he lost his confidence, and Frank liked it. Frank liked showing him that he wasn’t that strong and that strange as he made himself look. He had weaknesses too and Frank wasn’t going to stop until he wasn’t going to make Gerard see it.

Frank went back from thoughts to reality when he heard a phone call. Boys looked around. It was Bob’s.

“oh,” Bob groaned. “yeah?”

Frank watched him as he widened his eyes and shook his head. . “Mr. James”

“Dad?” Frank asked, why was James calling Bob? Oh yeah, fuck, Frank was too stupid. His phone was dead. That was why.

“facepalm” Bob uttered in the phone, giving Frank a look and then gave a phone to him.

“dad?” Frank asked, narrowing his eyes.

“why did he call you?” Matt asked.

“because Frank wasn’t answering his, I told him many times to charge his phone but he didn’t. telling me he’d do it after some minutes. Lazy boy, that’s why he called me” Bob laughed.

“oh god Frank” Mikey uttered, looking at Frank.

“yeah, I see” Frank said in  the phone.

“don’t ever do that Frank” James said from the phone, he seemed a little angry. Yeah, Frank was stupid to do that but what happened then? His phone was dead, nothing else, what could’ve happened to Frank, that James was getting this angry?

“I see, but I’m with friends dad” Frank uttered, frowning.

“I know, but always warn me about things like this”

“but you  never asked me to before”

“but now I do.. do what I ask you to do, I am your father” James said firmly. Wow, strange.

“ok..okay” Frank nodded a little. What was up with his dad? Oh, the job was affecting on him so hard, he had to stop working for a little while to stop acting like this.

“yeah and don’t go outside for a little while okay?” James asked then.

What the actual fuck was happening? James had never asked Frank this, it was confusing, what was up with him.

“but..” Frank started but he couldn’t finish his sentence. James cut him off telling that he simply just had to do this and no more questions were needed to ask. Then he hang up.

Frank put the phone away from his ear and looked at it confused. Why was everyone acting so strange around Frank that day? Why was it always Frank who met all the crazy people?

“what did he say?” Bob asked, signing Frank to give his phone back to him.

Frank thought a little while before answering. Maybe James was nervous? Because Frank was alone? But he was a grown man, twenty five years old, he could look after himself easily. Frank caught Bob’s eyes, raising his eyebrows as a sign to answer him.

“oh nothing” Frank replied and gave him his phone back.

“then why are you looking like that?” Mikey asked, looking at Frank up and down.

“oh it’s nothing, my head hurts, that’s it” Frank lied. He never lied to his friends but this time, he somehow thought it was better if he kept it as a secret, this and what happened with Gerard back in the kitchen. Wow, that day started awkwardly.

Mikey didn’t believe that, of course, maybe something had happened to Frank but Frank didn’t want to talk about it and they didn’t say a word about this because they knew Frank’s character and Mikey was still not over the fact that Gerard and Frank were that close in the kitchen. But, oh wait, what if they were fighting? Awesome! Mikey’d rather think they were kissing than to think they were fighting.

Suddenly the door behind them opened and their eyes spun  to see Gerard, who was putting his jacket on and getting ready to go somewhere, not giving a damn about the fact that everyone were looking at him. It seemed like he was not going to warn anyone, he was just going to the door to leave with his annoyed look which he always had on his face.

“where are you going?” Mikey asked, when he noticed Gerard wasn’t going to warn him about anything.

Everyone were looking at him, except Frank, he was just looking at his knees, not going to say a word.

“I’m going out” Gerard said firmly. Frank was looking down but he could still feel how Gerard gave him a face shot for the last time, before he turned around and opened the door to leave.

Mikey sighed. That was Gerard, the weird person with no feelings. Sometimes he made Mikey think he really didn’t have any, he used to act like that too often. Mikey actually believed deep inside his heart that Gerard was still the Gerard, he used to be before he became a vampire, but slowly that thought was fading away, because the more Gerard stayed with them, the more Mikey noticed that Gerard didn’t care of anything or anyone, yeah except him, but that was not enough, humans care, cry, live. Gerard didn’t seem to feel any of these ones, he didn’t care, he didn’t cry, he didn’t have any feelings. No matter how Mikey tried to make himself think it was just that Gerard was weak and hated being a vampire but he failed, because Gerard proved opposite every fucking time. Mikey thought Gerard could be good to his friends, he could have friends, that he could love and be loved, but he was realizing that he was mistaken. Gerard couldn’t do anything, he simply couldn’t, because he didn’t know what was love. That was so painful for Mikey but it was true. What could he do? He wanted it so much to make his brother happy again but he couldn’t. it was becoming clearer and clearer as the days passed.

Bob gave Mikey a look. He knew what was up with him, he knew it very well and everyone knew too of course, there was just that one thing nobody knew and it was Gerard being a vampire. Well, to be honest, there was other thing that worried Mikey too. The looks Gerard gave Frank. Nobody had noticed it but of course Mikey had. He had noticed many times how his brother was watching Frank. He didn’t think Gerard liked Frank because Gerard didn’t have the feeling to love, or like someone, but there was one time Gerard asked Mikey if Frank was something like vampire or werewolf, and then what happened in the kitchen. That was confusing and made Mikey ask himself, what was Gerard doing with Frank or was going to do. What did he have in his mind? Mikey looked over at Frank. He was sitting there, motionless, just like he was sitting before, he was looking at his fingers and thinking of something. He saw how Mikey was staring at him from the corner of his eyes and looked up, to face Mikey. When Mikey saw Frank noticed how he was staring at him, he looked away, at Bob, Ray and Matt, who were talking about stuff, not knowing what was going on in Mikey’s heart.

Frank sighed. What was up with this way brothers? Why were they watching Frank like this. He rolled his eyes then and stopped looking at his fingers. He turned to the boys and tried to get into the conversation, but they were talking about nothing interesting. He didn’t want to go back to his house either, because he’d be alone there.

“oh god” he took a deep breath, boys looked at him.

“I’ll just go play ps” he stood up. “does anyone want to play it with me?” he asked then.

“oh yeah, I want” Matt got excited when someone mentioned playing and stood up as fast as he could, entering the room with Frank, Ray followed them.

“it’s such a bad day it seems” Bob assumed.

“yeah” Mikey nodded, thoughtfully.

 “so..” Bob stared at him, now that everyone had left. “tell me”

“tell you what?” Mikey raised his eyebrows and looked at Bob carefully, frowning.

“tell me about your worries” Bob said and waited patiently for Mikey’s answer.

“uh nothing” Mikey tried to smile but it was so fake.

“Mikey” Bob rolled his eyes. “I am your friend, I’ve known you for  like eight or nine years and I know you very well so don’t try to hide anything from me, tell me what’s up” He stated.

Mikey didn’t answer for a second. He knew he needed to talk to someone about his feelings but he couldn’t tell Bob his brother was a vampire. What else could he say? that he was afraid of his brother eating his friends? That was not exactly what Mikey was worried about, he knew Gerard wouldn’t do anything that hurt Mikey purposely but still, he wanted his brother to be happy, not like this, emotionless and rude.

“okay” he said after some minutes of thinking. “it’s Gerard” he said then.

“I knew it” Bob agreed. He knew of course, he had noticed too how Gerard acted and he felt bad for him too and he got that Mikey didn’t want his brother to be like that.

“he’s different” Mikey started and tried to change the story so that Gerard was going to be just the one, who couldn’t have friends because he was depressed. “I feel bad for him, I want him to have friends and be happy with us but he doesn’t want that because he thinks he’s worthless and useless and that he can’t have friends, he’s depressed and I can’t do anything about it. that’s what makes me sad, that’s what makes me want to throw myself off the cliff”

Bob sighed. He already knew these all, he just wanted Mikey to tell it and feel free, he wanted Mikey to tell someone his worries and feel less bad.

“you know?” he started. “I swear to god, we will try our best to make him get better”

“you don’t even know” Mikey thought to himself, he smiled in pain. They didn’t even know that it was Gerard who didn’t want to be friends with them, because he hated them, it wasn’t like Gerard couldn’t have friends, he just didn’t want to.

Bob raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer he wanted to hear. Mikey sighed. “I hope so” he said, even though there was no hope left in him.

Bob smiled. “you know? He’s really different” he started. “he’s nothing like you”

“I know” Mikey nodded, looking at the wall. “he’s too different, he was like that right from the childhood”

“it’s okay Mike, everything gets better, I promise” Bob told Mikey and looked at him smiling. Mikey smiled back too. Oh, if Bob knew that Gerard was a vampire. He wouldn’t be this kind to him and if he knew that Gerard could eat him without any regrets, he wouldn’t even want to see Gerard ever in his life again.

“I still don’t get where he went” Mikey wondered.

“don’t worry, he’s a grown man, he’ll be back soon” Bob tried to calm him down and that was right when Ray and Matt entered the room swearing.

“that motherfucker” Matt muttered and shut the door too hard, it had a loud noise.

“I’m never ever playing something with him”  Ray made the final conclusion and went to sit on the chair, right in front of Mikey and Bob.

“what happened?” Bob asked smiling. “let me guess, you played and you lost” he uttered, as always.

“yeah” Matt nodded angrily. “that bastard” he wasn’t shutting his mouth.

“oh, why are you so angry?” Mikey asked them. “it’s not the first time you lost” he laughed. “but, did it really take this little time to lose?”

“fuck off” Matt groaned, “there’s something you don’t know”

 Ray coughed. “the loser has to do anything the winner asks them to do” he repeated in Frank’s voice. “three times!!!”

“how do you like that?” Matt asked Mikey and Bob, swearing. Mikey couldn’t help but laugh, they were always happy playing but they always ended up swearing because Frank was really good at pes and he never lost. It was too funny.

“fuck” Ray swore too. Matt looked at him angrily and muttered something for himself.


	6. Nightmare continues.

Gerard didn’t show up till the other day. Mikey didn’t sleep that night. He was waiting for Gerard. He thought that maybe it was because of his friends why Gerard wasn’t going back home, he didn’t want to see their stupid faces again maybe?  So wasn’t he going to show up till Mikey’s friends didn’t leave? Oh god, Mikey couldn’t take it anymore.

He didn’t want his friends to leave either, on the other hand Frank wanted to be with them because he didn’t want to go home until James wasn’t going to come back. But finally he made conclusion that Gerard maybe had something important to do because he’d disappear earlier if he didn’t want to be with his friends, also he heard him talk on his phone about someone called Adam and how he needed help, that confused him and wanted to ask Gerard what was up but he knew he wasn’t going to get an answer and plus Frank said he was.. oh, wait.

Maybe Frank and Gerard really fought there? And that was maybe why Gerard left and Mikey just remembered the look Gerard gave Frank before opening the door and Frank refusing to look up to face Gerard. But maybe Gerard looked at Frank because he always does that and there was nothing confusing in this, except the fact that Gerard used to look at Frank too often. Well, he was going to get why when Gerard was going to come back but he decided to ask Frank what they talked about in the kitchen before they ended up… against the wall.

“uh nothing, just about people with freckles” Frank replied, raising his eyebrows and looking like this wasn’t even special.

“freckles huh?” Mikey asked ironically. “so was Gerard the one who told you you had freckles?” he asked then.

“wh..” Frank couldn’t finish. How did Mikey know this? Oh yeah, right. He just remembered it, he said it the day before that someone told him he had freckles and he wondered if he really had them. “oh.. yeah” he nodded then. Oh, he shouldn’t have said it… or… what could he do if Mikey asked why they were talking about this?

“I see” Mikey nodded and made Frank realize he was still there, talking to Mikey and had to think of an exact answer a little faster. “how many times do I have to tell you not to behave around Gerard like that?”

Frank frowned, he was messaging someone in his phone, but as Mikey said that, he rolled his eyes and threw the phone away, making his not-again face.  “like what, Mikey?”

Mikey let out a sigh, he snapped his eyes up to Frank’s face, being still for a moment but then He stood up and took his chair closer to Frank, putting it right in front of him so that he’d see Frank’s face better. He sat, folding his arms over the back of the chair. Frank’s eyes followed him the whole time.

“are you going to start talking shit about how we were-” Frank tried to say something but Mikey cut in.

“listen, asshole” he started. “you still don’t know him as much as I do, so don’t pretend you do, no, let me say my word first” he said, when Frank opened his mouth to say something but then nodded, rolling his eyes. “yeah, don’t pretend you do, you don’t know him, you don’t know what he can do, so, I want you to know, you can’t have anything with him, he’s not meant for that, he-” he couldn’t finish his word.

“no, I can’t take it anymore, I gotta say it” Frank shook his head. “he’s not meant for what Mikey, for… relationships?”

Mikey glanced at Frank. “so, that’s what you want from him” he concluded, narrowing his eyes,  letting the truth  into his mind.

Frank raised a hand, his fingers disappearing into his long, messy hair, he shrugged. “no, I don’t like him, It just makes me angry how you decide everything instead of him, how you just cut every way for him, to do anything good with his life and-”

“and you think liking you back will make his life better?” Mikey asked suddenly, trying to stay still.

Frank took a deep breath. “I don’t like him Mikey, and I don’t want him to like me back, who do you think I am?”

“Frank I know you, and I know how you act yourself when you like someone, so please, stop saying that”

“what makes you think that?” Frank couldn’t stop himself from asking that, even though he knew he really liked Gerard.

“what makes me think of that?” Mikey repeated the question. “okay, first of all, why the fuck does he keep staring at you, if there’s nothing between you?”

That was it, Frank stayed quiet for a moment, just blinking but then he laughed, he leaned against the couch, dropping his head back and let out a high-pitched laugh. Mikey’s eyes followed him, he frowned, all he wanted right then was tear Frank apart.

“what’s so funny about this?” he asked, when he couldn’t keep silent anymore.

Frank was finally done, he remembered how weird it was when someone was laughing and you didn’t even know what about, when Gerard laughed at him exactly like that, on his mother’s grave. “oh” he let out a moan and finally came back to normal. Mikey waited for his answer patiently, Frank caught his eyes. “it was so funny, y’know?”

“oh, funny, huh?” Mikey asked, he was getting really angry, why didn’t Frank just care of anything and why was he just not changing his attitude to things. “I’m nervous, don’t know where the fuck my brother is and trying to get something and you’re just sitting there and laughing, you complete asshole!”

Frank raised his hands in apology. “you want an answer?” he asked and kept quiet for some seconds, driving Mikey even crazier. “I have no freakin idea” he sang and glanced at him.

Mikey took a deep breath. “you’re on a good mood”

“why shouldn’t I be?” Frank asked, “it’s not like your brother’s deathly i-wanna-get-into-your-soul-ish stares affect on me much” he laughed. In fact, they were, that’s why he talked to Gerard the day before but he was never ever going to admit that.

“so, you don’t know either” Mikey said to himself, he whispered but Frank still could hear it.

“no, dude,” he replied. “I don’t know, but it’s still something that you noticed that too, now I know I’m not seeing things or going crazy” he kind of laughed.

Mikey sighed. “fine,” he nodded. “oh, and also” he remembered something, and Frank rolled his eyes, “you fucker, why are you always teasing him?”

 “he’s the one who’s teasing me” Frank objected, pulling his hair out of his forehead.

“no, Frank, I know you’re reckless and you never do what you’re told, but when he says something, okay, don’t do that, but just, don’t tell him you’re not gonna do that, I know him, and I know what he can do and-“

“oh, for fuck’s sake” Frank cut in. “who do you think your brother is? What can he do? He’s a human just like me, you, Bob… he’s not any different so, he can’t do a thing to me”

Mikey smiled, more out of the amount of the things Frank didn’t know about Gerard, he didn’t say a thing though, he kept silent for a little while. After some minutes he decided to end talking about this. He hoped Frank would stop what he was doing before. “I trust you, Frank.” he said. “ I only want the best for you and trust me, he’s not-“

Frank cut in. “ Jesus Christ, just know that I don’t like him, that’s why I won’t do anything, because if I did, no one could stop me, and you know it”

Mikey smiled, what a reckless motherfucker he was. Mikey knew, even though he said so, there’s no way he’d do anything because he knew him, and he knew how Frank cared of his friends, despite of how careless and stubborn he was. Frank smiled back and they knew everything between them was okay. Frank knew Mikey trusted him and he was never ever going to break his promises, he never did that.

Another hours passed after this but there was still nothing new about Gerard. It was already night. Mikey got more worried, where he fuck was he? He hadn’t even taken his phone with him. Boys weren’t going to leave either, because they wanted to be next to Mikey in this situation, leaving Mikey alone would be the worst idea ever, even though they knew Gerard was a grown man, and he didn’t really need Mikey to look out for him, Mikey was in fact the one who needed that.  He was like a baby, he believed everything too easily and took everything to his heart, he was decent and sometimes his character was ruining his choices, it brought nothing but bad things to him.

“dude, don’t worry, maybe he’s somewhere drinking, or having sex, I don’t understand what makes you this nervous” Ray was getting a little annoyed to be honest, yeah, he used to look out for boys too often too, but not like this. He didn’t understand what Mikey’s problem was.

Mikey was standing at the window, looking out of it, as soon as he heard Ray say that, he turned around immediately, he didn’t know why those words sounded so weird when talking about Gerard. “no, that’s no way of that” he insisted and blinked at Ray.

“why not?” Ray asked, “he’s a man, he wants that too” he was too surprised when Mikey refused too hard to believe this, he folded, giving Matt a look.

“is he a virgin?” they heard someone ask and it didn’t really take too long to know who asked that, Frank. but before someone could manage to say anything he screamed. “GOOOOOOALLL!!!!” Ray looked over at Frank and Bob, playing pes at playstation and as soon as he met Frank’s face, he knew Frank won again.

“I don’t wanna play it anymore” Bob murmured, like a kid and leaving Frank alone on the couch came to the boys. “I’m never playing anything with him again” he joked and slid his hand over Ray’s messy, curly hair on the way to the chair.

“oh, stop  that” Ray groaned and moved his head away as soon as Bob touched. he didn’t like when someone touched his hair.

“you know what?” suddenly Mikey started, letting go of the curtain and getting away from the window. “you’re right, maybe he’s having fun” he, himself didn’t believe of his words but at least they sounded better than all the ideas he had come up in his head.

Ray let out a sigh of relief. “I like that” he whispered, smiling. “now come here” and he pointed Mikey to the seat next to him. Mikey sat there, exhausted and leaned against the couch, rubbing his hands over his knees back and forth.

“where’s Matt by the way?” he asked suddenly, he almost forgot Matt was there too.

“Oh” Bob sighed. “he’s having a shower”

Mikey didn’t reply anything, he just nodded. Usually, Matt used to take shower for hours, just like Frank, especially when he was tired and right then, he was tired as fuck.

“today’s Wednesday right?” Ray asked, trying to find a topic to talk.

“oh yeah dude,” Frank agreed, he already knew why Ray said that. “but today’s not gonna be a new episode of Supernatural”

Ray fluttered. “what? Why?”

“I don’t know man, one of the cast members tweeted that”

“oh okay” Ray sighed. “I can’t wait for a new episode by the way, in the latest one, Dean tried to kill Ezekiel and now-“

“you dumb” Frank cut in. “he’s not Ezekiel, he lied about that, actually, he’s Gadreel”

“whatever man, it doesn’t matter” Ray uttered, he was bad at remembering names. “I wonder if he will be able to kill Metatron”

“oh that Metatron” Bob groaned. “he’s a son of a bitch, I hope he dies so we don’t have to see him again in another season”

Frank laughed. “he’s the Ambridge of Supernatural” he crossed his legs, putting his hands between them.

“yeah”  said Bob. “seriously man, like, I love Crowley even though he’s a villain, same for Lucifer, hell I love him so much, but that Metatron is just.. he looks like my ass”

Frank let out a big laugh. “I’ve seen it and I can surely agree, he totally does”

Bob grinned, first time Frank agreed with him, he rolled the sleeves of his shirt up. “it’s hot”

There was a pause for a second. “well, because I’m sitting here” Frank decided to say, smirking and laughed at his own joke.

Bob stopped for a moment and Mikey and Ray, rolled their eyes. it was starting again. Bob stared at Frank. “I’ll just kill myself, when I get to have hots for you”

Frank pointed his middle finger at him. “you don’t have a good taste”

“oh trust me I do” Bob laughed, getting up, to turn the TV on.

“just fuck off already” Ray teased and Frank raised eyebrows at him, then brought his eyes to Mikey, who was just staring at the wall and thinking about something, his hands in his pocket. He caught Frank’e eyes on him. “what?”

Frank said. “nothing, dude, I just wanted to point out, I’m teasing with everyone and there’s nothing special in that” he grinned.

Mikey knew what he was talking about. “forget that” he replied. “ I don’t doubt a thing now”

Frank smiled. “okay” he paused. “so, what were you saying, is he a virgin?”

Mikey stared at him for a moment, it seemed like Ray wanted to know an answer too. Then he shook his head. “no, he’s not”

“sad,” Frank hummed. “I’d like to be the one to steal his virginity”

There was a split second of silence and Ray widened his eyes, telling Frank not to do that, Frank regretted immediately what he said and just pretended like he said nothing wrong, Mikey didn’t even look surprised, he just sighed and said the words Frank never expected him to say. “even if he was a virgin, you’d still have no chance”

Frank’s jaw dropped. He raised his eyebrows at Mikey, surprised, his eyes followed as Mikey stood up to leave, but before he did so, he caught Frank’s eyes. “not because he may not like you jackass” he uttered, “because he doesn’t like being bottom either”  he laughed and made his way to the stairs, leaving Frank and all the others amazed.

“wow” that was what Frank managed to say, he looked over at Ray, who didn’t seem less surprised, they exchanged looks and finally he managed to  close his mouth, Frank didn’t like Mikey’s joke, like they say, every joke contains a little truth, so maybe Gerard wasn’t that straight? All those times Frank thought he wouldn’t have a chance with him because he was straight but what if he was not? How could Frank get that? There’s no way Mikey’d answer if he asked him, what was he supposed to do? Maybe just let go? Because even if he was gay/bi Frank still wouldn’t have a thing with him, because of Mikey, but… no, no buts Frank, he told himself and shook his head, trying to avoid that kind of thoughts.

“Mikey learnt how to joke properly too” Bob laughed and put his hand in his hair, he loved playing with it. “but I don’t think we should be joking now”

Frank and Ray frowned. “why?

“because..” Bob started, looking at the bathroom direction. “first, I think Matt died there” he laughed. “and second, nine new kills”

“oh god, not again” Ray quivered. “nine?”

“yep” Bob nodded. “nine ones, they were all found dead near woods, the amount of the dead people are increasing as the days pass, that doesn’t sound too good”

Ray coughed. “I know, right? Like, who knows we’re not gonna be next ones who’s going to get killed?”

“yeah” Bob agreed. “especially when those woods are near the cemetery where your mom is buried” he looked over at Frank.

 “I know” Frank nodded after some seconds, he knew, it had been a while since he hadn’t been there, in the woods, the last time he was nearby was weeks ago, when he met Gerard there, oh yeah, their parents were buried there too. “that’s where Mikey’s parents are buried too”

Ray shrugged. “I don’t think you boys will be able to visit them there for a little while”

Frank sighed. “I know” perfect, this was exactly what he needed right then, he opened his mouth to say something to Bob but there was a knock on the door, they all looked at it, it wasn’t a usual knock, it was a sound of something dropping at it.

“what the fuck?” Frank asked frowning and stood up to open but it didn’t take long for Mikey to hear the knock and he ran downstairs immediately. “I think Gerard’s home” he insisted and ran to the door, nearly making Frank fall onto the floor on his way. “chill out dude” Frank said, raising his hands in the air,

Bob couldn’t help but laugh at Frank, who made his way to where he was sitting before, folding. “he acts like God came down from heaven “ he bitched.

Mikey was already opening the door, without even looking in the peephole. He opened the door as fast as he could and suddenly felt how something fell on him, something heavy, that he could hardly pull and hold in his arms.

“what the fuck?” he frowned and looked down at Gerard, yes. He was the one who fell. “G-Gerard?” Mikey blurted out and closed the door in shock, not taking his eyes away from him, what was up with him? he put his arms around Gerard, trying to hold him properly, he couldn’t even stand, he was resting against Mikey’s chest, was he this drunk? Mikey thought. Bob and Ray stood up immediately to help him.

“help me lay him on the sofa” Mikey insisted and Bob bent down to reach for Gerard’s legs to pull and he suddenly noticed something, and his jaw dropped.

“quickly Bob, I can’t hold him” Mikey uttered. “what?” he asked as soon as he saw Bob’s face and then looked over at Ray, who didn’t seem less surprised. “what’s up?”

Bob took a step back. “he’s bleeding” he said, voice shaking.

“what?” Mikey asked nervously and looked down at Gerard and his hands, which were slowly covering in red color, yeah, there definitely was blood, “oh g-god” Mikey tried to say something but he failed, no words were coming out of his mouth, he started shaking. Suddenly everything around him started fading, all he saw was Gerard and his blood, for a moment, he hoped it’d be someone’s blood, caused because Gerard was hungry and he realized what the fear of losing his brother was turning him into. “oh god” he said again. Gerard had his eyes closed and wasn’t saying a word. Ray put his hands around Gerard and helped Mikey get him to the sofa.

“quickly, fast” Mikey was nearly crying. They got Gerard to the sofa and laid him on it. Gerard had a bruise on his right eye and had some scratches on his face. He had his eyes closed and wasn’t saying a word. Bob was surprised, how did he manage to get home in that condition. They looked at Gerard carefully to see where he was bleeding from and then they found it. He was bleeding from his lower part of the body., Bob checked it and put Gerard’s shirt up to see what kind of wound it was. Gerard had a bullet in his wound. The blood was all over his body and his clothes but you could hardly see it on his black shirt.

“someone shot him” Bob said in a low voice, shocked and suddenly every movement around Mikey started slowing down, he felt how his heart started beating faster and he felt like he could breathe no more. His body didn’t know how to react, his face went pale, his mouth was slightly open, couldn’t move any part of his body. He just froze and didn’t know what to do, for a moment he thought he couldn’t see Gerard breathing but that was caused by his nervousness. Then he got that he had to do something and tried to open his mouth but he couldn’t say anything. The voice wasn’t coming out of his throat. His mind went somewhere else and the sight of his eyes went black.

“the hell are you doing Mikey!” he heard someone scream from nowhere and that was when he realized he had to do something and he looked around. “quickly, call 911!” Bob yelled.

“o-o-h, y-yeah” Mikey uttered and stood up to search for a phone. His knees were too weak to stand up, every time he looked at Gerard, he was becoming weaker and weaker and was thinking that it was his last minutes. After searching for it for a long time he finally found phone and tried to pick 911 but he couldn’t, for a moment, he thought, would it be good if they took him to the hospital? Would Gerard want that? What if they got he wasn’t a human? But suddenly someone took the phone from his hands, “what the fuck are you doing” Frank asked determined and called 911 himself, not letting Mikey analyze the situation, even though he had lost the ability of that at the moment.

Gerard was breathing, slowly, they could hear his pulse, he was alive yeah, well they didn’t know how far the bullet had gone but Mikey was still nervous, yeah, who wouldn’t be nervous in this kind of situation? His brother was shot, he was bleeding.

“why isn’t your phone calling?” Frank asked suddenly, looking down at it. “there’s no signal”

“okay, try mine, here” Bob said, but suddenly he was stopped, Gerard groaned a little. Mikey lit up and went closer as fast as he could, Gerard wanted to say something but all that came out was a moan.

“f-fuck”  he swore and held his hand against the wound, everyone were concerned. “don’t c-call!” he insisted, the words were hardly coming out.

“what? Are you going crazy?” Mikey asked and looked at Frank immediately, who as it seemed, had stopped doing what he was doing. “Frank, don’t be stupid, just call”

Frank thought for a moment, then he wanted to slap himself for hesitating and continued dealing the number but he was stopped, Gerard called his name.

“F-Frank” he said and Frank looked over at him from the phone, he saw Gerard like this for the first time, yeah, he was totally begging him, why was Frank not enjoying it and why wasn’t he going to do opposite thing now? Maybe because Gerard was in a bad condition and it’d just make everything worse, but calling 911 would be better, wouldn’t it? Oh what are you waiting for, he asked himself. “please, don’t” he heard Gerard say then.

“stop that, Gerard” it was Ray this time. “you’ll die”

Gerard didn’t say anything and didn’t look away from Frank for some seconds, then said. “I won’t, I can get rid of this bullet myself” he whispered and tried to sit properly so that he was no longer laying and could see his wound better.

“Frank, call them now!” Mikey wasn’t listening to Gerard, it was stupid, he could die, no, there was no way they weren’t calling and Frank, despite himself insisted. “we’re not calling anyone if he doesn’t want to” hiding the phone into his  pocket. “we can help him remove the bullet” he said then, avoiding Mikey’s and Ray’s looks and went to sit right next to Bob, kneeling at the sofa Gerard was sitting on.

Mikey couldn’t hide his shock. “are you guys insane? Give me the phone!” he said and pointed Frank to do what he just told him. Frank looked at him for a moment, and became more confident when Bob took his side. “okay, Mikey, calm down, I’ve done this before, there’s no need to call emergency if he doesn’t want to”

Mikey hesitated for a moment and wanted to fight, to stab Bob and Frank, to slap Gerard, to just, beat them all for not understanding him, but despite himself, he just said “fine” with an angry tone and stood up to leave the room and go into the bathroom. it was obvious, he couldn’t watch his brother suffer. Frank shook his head and gave Bob a look, Bob just nodded, as the sign of the fact, that they could do it.

“it’s better if he’ll be in another r-room” Gerard uttered and looked at Bob. “have you r-really done this b-before?”

“yeah” Bob replied, “me and Frank, both” giving Frank a look, but Frank was nowhere, he had gone to the kitchen to bring some alcohol, knife, cotton and other stuff.

“oh, god, I can’t watch this, I’ll just go with Mikey” Ray shivered and stood up to leave the room, following Mikey and Bob rolled his eyes.

“it’ll hurt like fuck” he said then,

Gerard smiled weakly. “I’ve been through worse” he said and got ready. “I can do it myself, you don’t have to-“

Frank came into the room and Gerard couldn’t finish his sentence, he hadn’t done this before and even though he didn’t want to admit it, he really needed their help right then, he had to forget about his pride for a little while and let guys do it.

“okay” said Bob and nodded, he took ice pack and started to numb the wound, as he put the ice on the wound, Gerard moaned a little cause it hurt,

“we’ve done this to Bob once” said Frank, trying not to shake and not to look at what Bob was doing and making Gerard draw attention to something else, not to have to feel the pain, he looked at Frank. “yeah” Frank continued, as Bob poured some alcohol on the wound and Gerard groaned. “ I don’t remember what caused it but he was shot,” he paused. “and we, both together took the bullet out of his wound, he helped me a little, he’s really good at stuff like this, rea-”

“and I don’t want to remember that pain ever” Bob cut in. “but I guess you can take it better,” he smiled and Gerard just threw his head back and tried not to care about anything, he had gone through worse, it was right, he could take this too.

“drink this” Bob said and handed Gerard a whiskey, taking the knife and hitting it up, he stroke it on the rock as Gerard took several swigs of whiskey to dull the pain. “I’m ready” he said and Bob raised the knife, giving Gerard one last look before starting to put it in.

As he put the knife into the wound, Gerard’s veins started vibrating from the pain, but he didn’t scream, of course, he wasn’t that weak, he could take this. “fuck” he swore, as Bob made his way with the knife deeper. There was a split second pause between the impact and the pain, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe no more because he felt like chocking.  “I can see it” he heard Bob whisper and closed his eyes, letting the pain damage and destroy his nervous system and he tried not to throw up. Bob was trying not to cut his veins and so he was taking it slowly, in fact, the bullet had gone deeper than he had expected but that was no problem either, he could already see it. The blood in Gerard’s veins started hitting up, the pain was just, sharp and heavy, unbearable, nothing he had ever felt before, he felt like his stomach was on fire, like there was something in his lungs, trying to eat him from the inside. Frank was surprised that he didn’t scream, he just moaned several times, that was all, he wasn’t even shaking, or sweating, he had just balled his hands into fists and was trying to take pain like that. It amazed him, cause if he’d been there, instead of Gerard, he probably would’ve died.

“it’s almost done” Bob informed, trying to pull the bullet with a knife “it’s nearly out” he said again, he was already taking it out, but with more surprised look than he ever had on his face.  “what the fuck?” he asked suddenly, and the fact that the pain slowly started fading made Gerard get that the bullet was already out. He opened his eyes as fast as he could, looking over at the bullet Bob had in his hands. “dude!” he heard Frank say.

He got what was surprising them this much, they probably could’ve seen what the normal bullet looked like and this one was nothing like it. It was a lot bigger and a lot damaging, cause hell, he was a vampire, they couldn’t kill him with a normal bullet, it had a lot different structure than the normal one.

“I never knew bullet like this existed” Bob uttered, rolling the bullet in his hand with his fingers, “it’s weird” and handed it to Frank, then he grabbed vodka and let a couple of drops of an alcohol soak into the cloth, covering the wound with it, Gerard groaned a little and as Bob was done doing his job, he wrapped the strips of bandages around his body carefully. “I think my job here is done” he uttered and as soon as he said that, not letting Gerard say anything, Mikey, Ray and Matt entered the room immediately.

“here comes the drama queen” Frank laughed and watched Mikey make his way to Gerard. Matt looked terrified, they maybe would’ve explained what had happened while he was in bathroom… for nearly an hour.

“oh shit” he whispered. “I was in shower for like 20 minutes and I can’t believe this happened”

Bob shot him a look and Frank already knew what for, yeah, that liar, it definitely wasn’t 20 minutes, obviously more than one hour.

Everyone kept silent, no one was going to say a word and that silence was making Gerard uncomfortable, he felt Mikey’s eyes on him, not only Mikey’s, everyone were looking at him besides Frank, who was playing with a bullet that nearly caused Gerard to die.

“did you remove the bullet successfully?” Mikey asked, after some minutes, trying to found out something.

“yeah, I did” Bob whispered and pointed Mikey to all the blood he had on his hands and on his face and headed for the bathroom to wash his hands and get rid of it.

“oh yea” Frank said suddenly. “by the way, here’s the bullet.” He showed boys it and watched them widen their eyes.

“how did you survive this, dude?” Ray asked, refusing to hold it in his hands, he was afraid of blood like fuck.

“I don’t know either” Gerard sighed and looked at Frank, who sat right next to him on the sofa, yeah, he was totally right about to ask something.

“hey” he started, “can I keep this?”

Gerard frowned. “what, the bullet?”

“yeah, can I keep it? I love keeping rare things” he grinned.

Gerard stopped for a moment, Frank was not dangerous, he couldn’t get a thing. “okay” he nodded. “you can keep the bullet which nearly killed me”

“oh” Frank laughed, even though Gerard didn’t smile when he said that so it was hard to guess whether he joked or not. “I’ll wash it, trust me, I don’t want to see your blood everyday in my house” he smiled. “well thanks, by the way, I thought you’d say no,!”

Gerard took a deep breath, leaning against the coach, the wound still hurt, Mikey looked at him carefully and Gerard knew what for, oh god, he had to explain to him, what the fuck could he say?  He had to lie again, he was so annoyed of lying every time, it was becoming like a casual thing slowly, it was terrible and plus, now he owed Bob and Frank, he didn’t like being grateful for someone, it sucked balls.

“what happened to you, by the way?” it was Bob, he entered the room with towel, drying his hands, aaand here it somes, thought Gerard.

he sighed. “I don’t think I’m able to talk now” he said and prayed they’d just let him rest.

Bob smiled. “okay, I think Mikey should take you to your room”

Mikey stood up and helped Gerard get up, with his arms around his body, pleased that he may have a chance to talk to Gerard alone and find out something. “are you guys staying here tonight?”

“I don’t think I’ll be staying, I gotta go to work tomorrow,” Ray said and got ready, searching for his coat.

“okay” Mikey said, “I’ll take him to my room then and you sleep in Gerard’s” he pointed to Bob, Matt and Frank. “I’ve got you” he told Gerard then and put his arm around Gerard’s neck, helping him go upstairs.

“im not even sleeping tonight” Matt muttered. “I can’t, how can I? oh god, thank god I wasn’t here when Gerard came”

“I’m not either” Bob whispered and looked at Ray who wanted to say something.

“see you guys tomorrow,” Ray uttered. “ stay with Mikey, I don’t think you should leave him alone now” he told guys, He had already put on his coat. “if it wasn’t for my job, I’d stay here and-“

“for fuck’s sake ray” Bob cut in. “there’s no need to tell reasons, we know you’d stay” he smiled.

Ray rolled his eyes. “okay” he said and headed for the door. “don’t burn the house” he said before he shut the door. “and oh, yeah” Ray’s face appeared again. “I think the sofa Frank is laying on is covered in blood, make sure you’ll clean it” he said and went.

Matt and Bob exchanged looks, Frank was just laying on the sofa, not giving a fuck whether it was bloody or not, maybe he was trying to sleep.

Some minutes passed, The weather was just like their moods, it was raining so hard outside with thunder and lightning. The drops of water were heating on the window with a big strength, it had such a big noise. Bob sighed. He wasn’t sleepy at all, neither was Matt, What the hell could’ve happened to Gerard? Maybe a thief did it, he was stealing and Gerard didn’t let him, or maybe he was wandering and he walked by some bastards fighting and he tried to calm them down and he got shot, or.. or maybe he needed money and didn’t have it and tried to steal or something, there were many possibilities of what happened but which one was true, Bob had no idea. Yeah, Gerard was kind of rude and careless but he didn’t think Gerard could steal something or try to kill somebody and get shot because of this. That was what he knew for sure, oh he wanted to know what happened so much but he was never going to get that maybe because he thought they had like zero chance to get to talk to Gerard, he thought Gerard was just going to say it to Mikey, But it was okay, because they were going to ask Mikey if what Bob thought was going to happen happened.

“I want to sleep so much, but I can’t” Matt muttered then, breaking the silence. They sighed, not saying a single word, Mikey didn’t seem to be coming down for another few hours.

“aren’t you hungry?” Bob asked him, looking over at Frank. “hey, Frank!” there was no answer. “he fell asleep” Bob rolled his eyes.

“oh” Matt groaned. “so we should be quiet not to wake him up?” he raised his eyebrows.

“no” Bob replied. “I’ll take him to Gerard’s room.”

“oh, okay,” Matt said. “I think there are some eggs left in the fridge, I’ll go get something ready”

Bob didn’t reply anything. “oh god, I have to carry this fat motherfucker again” he rolled his eyes and took Frank in his arms, he wasn’t that heavy in fact, it was easy to pull him up. On the way to Gerard’s room he met Mikey, who was heading downstairs.

“I knew he’d fall asleep” Mikey whispered, smiling. “Frank and sleep are best friends actually”

Bob laughed slowly. “yeah” he nodded. “I’ll take him to gerard’s room and then there’s stuff I wanna ask you when I come down” he warned Mikey and Mikey already knew what Bob had to ask, he nodded and let Bob continue walking to Gerard’s room. Bob was surprised to find lights on in that room, actually, when he opened the room after a long time trying to do it quietly not to wake that motherfucker in his arms up, he saw Gerard there, well, actually Bob thought he had to be in Mikey’s room as Mikey said earlier but things may have changed.

“oh” Bob uttered. “I didn’t think you were here” he said and looked at the sofa finding a place for Frank since Gerard was laying on his bed.

“yeah, I didn’t want to spend a night in Mikey’s room” Gerard replied. Bob was surprised to find Gerard talking so easily, he just removed an abnormal sized bullet from his wound, how was he even alive?

“okay, I’ll take him to his room then” Bob whispered and pointed to Frank but Gerard stopped him.

“no, there’s no problem, here” he said and stood up, “lay him here, I won’t be sleeping anyways” he whispered.

Bob looked at Gerard confused. He won’t be sleeping anyway? Strange. He nodded as a response and laid Frank there. Ugh that motherfucker, he didn’t even care of anything, he just saw a nearly dying man and was sleeping like nothing. Bob shook his head and turned around to leave a room when Gerard called his name.

“hey, Bob” Bob turned around, searching for Gerard’s face and meeting his eyes.

“yeah?” he asked, already knowing what Gerard wanted to say.

“I never got a chance to thank you” he whispered and suddenly Bob’s views on that guy changed immediately. He’s a good person, he thought, he’s just strange. Instead he replied. “hey, you’re welcome” and left the room.

 

$$$

Frank didn’t know how he got there, neither did he know what he wanted or had to do there. He looked around, it was so unfamiliar to him, he had never been there before, he remembered that days ago someone got shot and they took him to the hospital, he had no idea how that person was or what happened to him but he knew that he was in a room with white walls. White walls? He looked down at his body, he was all in white, white clothes? where was he? There were handcuffs there, right next to his bed, then he felt how his wrists hurt and looked at them, they were red, as if he had been handcuffed at something for days. What the actual fuck? Was he considered as mad? Was he being in a… lunatic asylum??? No way.

He stood up as fast as he could, his legs hurt so much. He suddenly felt a huge pain on his neck. He touched it and felt how he had three scratches. He frowned, it felt like he was imagining everything, he felt how he was worried about something but he didn’t know what it was, he had a feeling that someone died and he knew he couldn’t take it, he also felt how he saw everything but didn’t know what he saw. He knew that he wasn’t mad, it was their fault. He noticed a mirror on the wall on the other side of the room and ran to it. when he looked in the mirror, he thought he was seeing a nightmare there. His eyes were red from the inside, he could see some red lines in them, his face was pale, cheeks thin, as if he was crying for a long time. He touched his face then, it hurt. He knew it was real for sure, everything was real, everything this happened to him but he couldn’t remember why he had been crying. He sat on the bed again and tried to remember everything carefully. So, he knew someone died or rather, got shot but he didn’t  know if that someone died or not. He claimed something about it and they brought him into the mental hospital and he cried over it? that didn’t make sense, something else was up there.

He looked around again. Mental hospital… he was always afraid of getting there, he had lost so much people in his life and he didn’t want to lose anyone else, he knew that if he didn’t go out of the hospital, someone was going to die, he was helpful, he could help but he was at the hospital, how could he? His mind was blown up, he knew that someone had used needles on him to make him sleep, he had no idea how he knew this but it was real, he knew it for sure. He touched his hands which hurt. Oh, he wanted to remember everything clearly, why was he so terrified? Why was his mind not reacting at all? Why did he feel like he was dead inside?

He tried to sigh, but his throat hurt. Why was everything hurting, what the hell had happened to him. He stood up again, because he needed to get out of there, he went to the walls and put his ear on them to try and hear something but mental hospital walls are very think and don’t let you hear anything from the outside. He got away from the walls after failing to do anything and looked behind because he heard something. It was the door, it opened. He got nervous, he knew he had to hide but he couldn’t, because there was only one bed in the room, nothing else, he couldn’t get under the bed because that someone could find him easily there. He had nowhere to go. Somehow he felt that he wouldn’t let that human get inside, he knew he had to run, but then again, why didn’t the security take care of it? why did they let that man get inside the room, didn’t they know it was searching for Frank but there was no more time to think, he was already in, Frank couldn’t see his face, he was covered in white smoke, Frank narrowed his eyes to see clearer but didn’t step forward him  because he knew it was scary, it could kill Frank, but Frank didn’t care, it was better because he didn’t belong there, he wasn’t feeling anything, the only thing he felt was the voice of the gun.

The gunshots weren’t as loud as Frank expected them to be. The bullets, spiraling through the air, pierced his chest without real meaning or relevance, and with more speed than the fastest of living things. The wounds leaked blood the way crying eyes leak tears. The images swirled before him right until the end, leaving that last scene of Frank imprinted upon his mind without the oxygen to sustain it. It wasn't so much pain, but the shock, the surprise, of almost anticipating, feeling the hot, wet pain in his chest, the hole the bullet made. It wasn't what he expected. He had thought there would be more pain, he thought it would be more painful, he thought it’d hurt so much that he wasn’t going to take it. Frank could feel his pulse pounding through his body and escaping in torrents through the open wound. At that moment Frank felt no pain, he felt no sorrow. He looked down at his chest and saw fresh blood leaking through it, he felt sick, his head started hurting so much and that was a moment when his eyes started to go blind. He fell to the ground, an ache forming in his chest. He was dying and yet, he was still calm. He knew he was going, he knew he was leaving and was flying to the other side and suddenly he could feel no more pain, it slowed down and that was a moment when he realized he couldn’t feel the sound of his heart beating.

He had finally gone to a place where he belonged, was he waiting for him on the other side?

What if he wasn’t and what if he was still alive? But Frank couldn’t think of it anymore because he opened his eyes, which was confusing a little, maybe more, because he was dead. Why did he open his eyes, he just died. He was in shock, he blinked a few times, trying to stop shaking, he looked around to find white walls again but there were no white walls. What the hell, he died and why did he open his eyes again? He was supposed to be dead, his heart was beating faster than usual, he felt hot blood running through his veins. He wasn’t dead. He decided it was a time to stand a little up and look around carefully to find out why was he still breathing when in fact he wanted to be dead so hard.

 God... where was he? At first he couldn’t recognize the room but then he remembered that he had been there before, oh, yeah,.. wait, it was Mikey’s house,? and…, no, it couldn’t be… Gerard’s fucking room? how? He was in a mental hospital. He looked down at his chest, no bullet. No mental hospital, no white smoked guys, no guns. ??? what was up? He frowned and looked at the table next to his bad. There was a piece of paper on it. He couldn’t even take it because his hand was shaking so hard. He finally managed to take it, the handwriting was very familiar to him.

“Frank, we went to Ray’s, we thought Mikey and Gerard needed some time alone but Ray wanted to see Mike too much, he wanted to give advices etc. etc. I hope you remember what happened the day before. You were sleeping and we decided not to wake you up, sleep well and don’t drink, oh and yeah, you have to take care of Gerard, (well we know he won’t fucking let you, but anyways) Mikey wanted us to tell you this. --- Bob”

Holy fucking fuck.

Frank fell on the pillow again, and looked up at the ceiling. Realizing everything made him freeze up, he felt how something dropped in his stomach.

A nightmare, it was a fucking nightmare again.

He didn’t know how to react at first, didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. It was good because he wasn’t really dead but on the other hand it was terrible because he dreamt of the fucking nightmare again and the worst part was that it was just like the nightmare he dreamt of before, about him and someone next to him bleeding to death. His whole body started heating up, he felt how his skin started sweating, he was fucking alive, laying on Gerard’s bed and breathing hard. Yeah, he remembered everything, Gerard was shot and was in a hospital, they were supposed to visit him at 11 pm yeah. It was his reality, everything started going back to normal in Frank’s mind but at the moment he wanted his dream to be real  and he wanted to be dead so much because he couldn’t take that kind of nightmares. it felt like reality. The feeling, he didn’t know what to call it, how to express it. it killed Frank from the inside, caused his mind to blow up and his heart to nearly stop beating. Like, he knew it was a nightmare but he felt like it was a real life.

And then again, who the hell was that guy Frank was dreaming about. The white smoked guy was another problem but he saw this kind of a nightmare for the second time and he saw that special someone in each of them. Who was he and why was Frank so worried about him? Why was his death so important to him. Yeah, when someone dies you get sad, of course but it wasn’t that kind of feeling, he felt like that man was his whole world, was he his father? No, in first dream he was younger than James. So? One of his friends? He couldn’t see clearly what that man looked like but he knew he was young. He may be one of his friends? Oh god.

For fuck’s sake, why was this always happening to Frank? After thinking for a long time he decided that this nightmare was a continuation of the first one, that someone died and Frank got sad about it, it was the same feeling, he felt like something tore away from him in the first one and that was what he felt in this one too about that someone. Let’s call him “special someone”. But on the other hand maybe Frank thought of Gerard until he fell asleep and that was why he dreamt of someone being shot days ago but that didn’t make sense. Gerard wasn’t important to him. But if you looked carefully, Frank started seeing this kind of nightmares, after Gerard appeared in his life.

No, that was bullshit. Gerard had nothing to do with it. “forget it Frank” he told himself and sighed again but suddenly stopped, afraid of the pain he felt in his dream when he sighed. Then he remembered it was just a dream and not reality. “don’t be stupid” he said out loud. “and stop thinking about bullshits”

He decided that he was a little calmer and tried to stand up. He felt tired, the bed was wet, he knew Mikey was going to go mad but he didn’t care and yeah, oh yeah, Mikey fucker, how did he leave him there.

“decided not to wake you up” he repeated Bob’s words ironically. Better? He’d thank Bob his whole life if he had woken him up. If Bob had done so, Frank wouldn’t see half of the things he saw, wouldn’t it be better? Oh he was going to beat Bob and others so hard when he was going to see them, but right then he had to stand up at first.

He stood a little up so that he was already sitting on a bed. He had his head in his hands, not knowing what to do. It was becoming annoying. Yeah, he wouldn’t say anything if it was just a nightmare you see about ghosts or monster or stuff, it wasn’t like that, it felt so real and so special, like, Frank couldn’t put it into words. It was hard. Even if he talked to someone about this feeling, what’d be the point anyway? He couldn’t express it, couldn’t really say what was it, that he was afraid of so much.

After thinking for a long time, he decided to go downstairs. After all, he wasn’t home alone. He stood up, looking around, the letter was still in his hands, fuck this letter, fuck Bob,  he thought and put it in his pocket, trying to stand up when something on the table, next to the sofa drew his attention.

“a pentagram?” he asked, yeah, there was a book with a big pentagram, surrounded by the fire. That was Gerard’s working table actually so that book wouldn’t be there by mistake, it had to be Gerard’s. Of course as a person who watched Supernatural he wondered what that book was about and went closer to the table. “The Book of Vampires?” he read the title and touched the cover of the book, shocked. It was black, and the title was written with big letters above the pentagram. “so is this what Gerard’s reading when he’s in the room all alone?” he asked himself and took the book in his hands, it somehow scared him, as if some magic was coming from the book, something negative, yeah, he remembered Gerard saying he was interested in vampires.  ‘Vampires aren’t monsters” that’s what Frank’s eyes met on the first page, he frowned and turned some pages so that he could see what the book was exactly about.

  “Crosses and other religious iconography” Frank read, confused. “ can be effective in warding off dark spirits, such as vampires, but they only work if the person using them has a strong spiritual connection to higher powers through that symbol.” He stopped for a moment, wait, what the fuck? Vampires weren’t real, of course maybe Gerard was just obsessed with supernatural too, yeah, that had to be it. He kept on reading. “Catholic priests use crosses when performing exorcisms because to them the cross has a strong spiritual meaning. They use these symbols to personally connect with their higher power (in their case, God). Other religions use other symbols, such as the universally used gemstones which are believed to each intensify a different type of spiritual power.” He stopped again and sat on the bed to be more comfortable, this stuff sounded interesting.

“however, crosses do scare vampires but there are only a few ways to kill them, just like humans, they have their special powers too. Psychic powers such as mind reading and seeing the future are among the more likely of these traits, as are the ability to see spirits and even communicate with the dead. This is most likely because vampires themselves exist somewhere between life and death. Like people who have had near-death experiences (or technically died and were resuscitated), there seems to be a stronger connection to the spirit world with those who have neared it themselves. Every single one of them can do all the above mentioned things but there are some stuff all of them can’t do, let’s keep in mind, when talking about ‘special powers’ immortality, super-human speed and strength aren’t included. There are the things all the vampires can’t do. However-” and Frank couldn’t finish his sentence, the door opened.

“oh” it was Gerard, shit shit shit shit. No, fuck, Gerard would get angry, he may not want Frank to read his secret books. Fuck fuck. “I thought you were still sleeping?” Gerard asked raising his eyebrows at Frank and Frank already knew he was in trouble.

“I… I.. you know? yeah, I was” he tried to say, throwing a book on the bed thinking if he did so, Gerard would forget Frank had his book in his hands seconds ago. “I just woke up?” he kind of asked and closed his eyes waiting for Gerard to punch him.

There was a silence for some seconds, then he heard footsteps and peeked through one eye to see what Gerard was doing. He actually went closer to Frank and looked at the book, not saying a thing. This silence actually made Frank even more nervous, come on, say something he thought. Instead, Gerard took a book in his hands and looked at what Frank had been reading before he entered.

“special powers huh?” he asked and looked at Frank carefully, searching for an answer but Frank had nothing to say. “what did you conclude after all?” he asked then suddenly, he did exactly opposite thing Frank thought Gerard was going to do.

“what?” he asked, not sure whether to answer it or not.

“you read a few lines” Gerard coughed. “if not some pages, so what did you conclude after all?”

Frank thought for a moment, looking over at Gerard’s stomach, why wasn’t Gerard hurt? Why was he walking like nothing had happened the day before and he didn’t nearly die? But yeah, first he had to answer, and what to answer? Of course the truth, just like always. “well” he started. “I didn’t read that much to have my opinion about vampires if that’s what you’re asking, but I have watched many films or series about them so-“

“No” Gerard cut in. “did I mention films, series or fantasy anywhere?”

Frank thought. “well, the story about vampires is all fantasy anyways so what’s the point in mentioning it?”

Gerard sighed, putting a book on the bed and sat next to Frank, putting his right hand on his leg. “it doesn’t matter” he said, pulling the hair out of his forehead. “what do you think according from what you just read, that’s what im asking”

Frank shrugged. “well, as I already said, I read a few lines to have some opinion on them but, from what I read, well, vampires, they aren’t monsters, that’s what I saw on the first page”

“what’s your opinion on that?” Gerard asked and stared at Frank’s eyes instantly,

Frank shivered, again, yes again, that look was never ever going to leave Gerard’s face, he tried to concentrate. “I don’t know” he said. “drinking blood or eating a person alive is something a human would never do so that obviously makes them monsters”

“how long can you last without eating food?” Gerard asked, waiting for an answer but he didn’t have to wait that long, when speaking about food, Frank was always cheering up.

“not long, actually, I love eating” he laughed, but Gerard didn’t seem like joking.

“and what do you think blood for a vampire is?” he asked.

“I know what you’re saying” Frank replied, knowing where Gerard was leading this conversation. “but isn’t there an animal blood? Or they can buy some, can’t they?” he asked, did Gerard really not get it?

But instead of answering, Gerard smiled, confusing Frank. “ of course there is an animal blood, and do you have your favorite food and the ones you hate to death?”

Frank laughed, it was obvious where Gerard was going with this conversation. “I have” he replied.

“well, hi there” Gerard waved and stared at Frank, smiling and Frank thought to himself- why isn’t this guy smiling more often? “you understand now?”

Frank rolled his eyes. “this is bullshit” he muttered. “fucking bullshit, it’s still wrong and it still makes you a monster”

Gerard shook his head. “you’re being a stubborn,”

“no, I’m not” Frank replied, “but anyways, why the fuck are we discussing and fighting over something that isn’t real? Let’s move on” he said but Gerard didn’t seem to be agreeing on this.

“vampires being monsters is the only thing you got from there?” he asked.

Frank frowned, why wasn’t Gerard letting go. “no, it’s not” he said. “I read about special powers, that they can read minds and also see the future but everyone of them can run fast and be immortal.”

“that’s true” Gerard pointed it out. “but there’s one mistake there, not every vampire can see the future,”

Frank raised his eyebrows. “really? But in films they can?”

“well, I say, they can’t, they also sense hunters, I hope you know what that means” Gerard replied.

Frank nodded. “what about reading minds, can every one of them do this?”

Gerard sighed. “yeah” he said, thinking for a moment. “they can, but there can be a problem, I mean, they all can but there are cases they’re unable to read minds, for example they can’t read each-other’s minds, that’s impossible, and there’s the other case also” he stopped for a moment. “which I don’t know yet but am trying to figure out” finished and he gave Frank ‘that’ look again.

Oh for god’s sake, stop staring at me like that, Frank thought but despite himself, asked doubtfully “how do you know all that?”

“I believe vampires existed once upon a time” Gerard replied. “and I’m interested in them, I have lots of books about vampires and spells and all the supernatural things, I’m interested in stuff like that”

Frank cheered up. “you will love a series named Supernatural I swear to god!”

Gerard smiled a little. “I’m not into series”

“you’ll be” Frank laughed. “once upon a time I didn’t love watching series too but then… Bob happened.” He said, quite proud about his obsession.

“I don’t know” Gerard replied. He was playing with the ring around his finger, the one he said parents gave him, well, thinking about vampires, being in a relationship with a vampire would be kind of  hot, wouldn’t it? And suddenly he decided to say.

“you know? I’d totally fall in love with a vampire” he wasn’t surprised of what he said, he would be, there was no doubt, uh, if vampires were real.

Gerard widened his eyes, tipping his head to the right and staring at Frank as if he just saw something very rare. “what?” he asked. “no, you wouldn’t”

Frank shrugged. “why not? I mean, it would be hot”

Gerard frowned. “hot? No, you have no idea what you say”

“I always know what I’m saying and I never say anything that I don’t want to happen to me,” Frank pointed it out. “I’d be in a relationship with a vampire even just for sex” he said and ignored the face Gerard gave him. “ Imagine, sucking blood while having sex, so hot” he uttered and closed his eyes for a moment to imagine..

Gerard kept silent for a while, trying not to laugh at what Frank said, it was weird wasn’t it? “you want a relationship with someone you think is a monster, do you know what you just wished?”

Frank kind of laughed. “I know, and it’s cool, if I love someone, I don’t give a fuck whether they’re a monsters or not”

Gerard nodded. “okay” he said and raised his eyebrows. “didn’t you read in that book about the strength of the vampires?”

Frank frowned. “yes, I did, why?”

“well,” Gerard replied, “in case you didn’t know, sex needs strength too, you wouldn’t satisfy a vampire if you had sex with her, you just can’t, it needs much more strength than you think”

“whoa” Frank laughed, kind of hurt that Gerard told this to him, to the man who could attach any woman. “actually, not necessarily a woman, you know? I wouldn’t refuse sex with a vampire man too”

This was the second time Gerard laughed hysterically at what Frank said, at first Frank thought Gerard was laughing at the fact of Frank being a bisexual but then he said. “you wouldn’t take it, you’d die”

Frank widened his eyes, shaking his head wildly. “no I wouldn’t, I-“ he was cut off.

“listen boy” Gerard said, all in serious voice now. “you have no idea how strong they are, they can kill you with just one punch, they can end your life with just one hand, you have no idea”

Frank thought about that, yeah, he’d heard about that, totally yeah, vampires were too strong, Gerard was always true, hell how could that be, it’s been a while since they knew each-other and Frank had never caught him in a lie, not any single time, he sighed and grabbed at his hair pitifully, it was still kind of wet, from sweat, oh no, don’t think about the nightmare, he told himself and tried to move on in his head. He looked at Gerard, who was looking through the pages of a book and then stood up to put the book in the shelf. “I hope this is the last time you read my book, right?” he asked, not turning around to face Frank.

Frank nodded, he didn’t need to get in trouble for touching something that isn’t his, “well, yeah, you know I never do what I’m told” he said at first but when he saw Gerard turning around slowly to look at him with ‘that’ look he added immediately. “but this was a mistake and im never doing it again, cause those aren’t mine and I have no right”

Gerard kept looking at him for a moment. “good” he nodded then and looked away.

Frank let out a sigh of relief when Gerard looked away, he couldn’t take it any longer, didn’t Frank’s trick work? No, freckles weren’t important here, something else was up. “how about your wound? Is It still hurting?” he asked then, so that they had a subject to talk about and wouldn’t have to be silent. Silence was unbearable when being next to Gerard, alone in the room.

There was no answer for a moment and Frank kept staring at Gerard’s back until he turned around, “yeah, it does,” he answered.

Frank frowned. “and how can you walk like that?”

“I can take the pain, I said yesterday that I’ve been gone through worse so this is no problem actually” Gerard uttered and went to the door. “won’t you come down?” he asked.

Frank thought for a moment and after a long time of thinking, the curiosity won in him and instead of answering he just asked. “what exactly happened yesterday?”

Gerard rolled his eyes. “something” he said, well, to be honest Frank knew he was going to get something along the lines ‘it’s not your problem’ as an answer but ‘something’ was totally not what he expected either.

He sighed. “you don’t want to answer”

Gerard already had opened the door. “yes, I’m not telling Mikey either, I have my stuff to do and that’s none of your business, even not Mikey’s” he said and pointed Frank to the door, “I’ll be downstairs” it was his last decision and he left the room, refusing to tell the truth about yesterday even though Frank helped him a lot. Sometimes he’s such a fucker, he thought to himself and stood up to take a shower. His nightmare was never leaving his head, and the shower is the best place actually to think about stuff in your life. It hurt, it somehow hurt, Frank didn’t even know what that dream was about, he always said it wasn’t normal nightmare but his friends laughed at him, calling him a psycho and if his old self had listened to what he thought right then, he’d totally laugh at him too. What happened to him? He never believed in dreams coming true, he never had faith in dreams and now? He was afraid that his fucking nightmares could come true. Oh for fuck’s sake, he had to stop thinking about bad things in his life and had to move on with this, he just had to enjoy all the smallest things and he was totally going to do it. Being angry all the time sucks.

After he was done having a bath, he went downstairs, looking around to find someone but it seemed he was alone at home, Gerard may seem to have gone somewhere, he rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen to eat something, he was hungry as fuck. He made coffee for himself and made breads in the toaster, lol, when Mikey was a little younger he used to stick forks in the toaster and that was funny as hell, Frank didn’t know if Mikey had fully stopped doing that. He laughed at that and went to the living room, while the water was boiling. There was nothing interesting on TV either, he planned to go home after he was going to finish drinking coffee, he hadn’t been there since yesterday.

Well, there was nothing new on TV, the number of murders were increasing as the days passed, some monster or animal or something, (they hadn’t discovered who was committing those murders), was killing people every day and because of that it had been like a month Frank hadn’t been at his mom’s grave. That sucked. Gerard couldn’t go to the grave too but he didn’t seem that worried about that, unlike Mikey, who was complaining everyday about that. Now, weren’t they different? Yes. Gerard was nothing like Mikey, nothing.

Frank was already finishing his breakfast when Mikey run into the living room, breathing hard and looking for something wildly.

“hey hey” Frank called and went to him immediately. “what’s up?”

“is Gerard in the bathroom?” Mikey asked, not being able to speak normally, he held his hand against his chest, maybe he was running.

Frank frowned. “no, why?”

Mikey let out a sigh of relief. “oh my god, I need to pee right now!” he kind of screamed and ran to the bathroom.

Frank’s eyes followed him at first but then he burst out laughing, analyzing that Mikey had been running all the way to home because he needed to pee.

While Mikey was in the bathroom Gerard came home too. Of course Frank didn’t ask where he had been, he wasn’t going to get an answer anyway, so he went back to the kitchen not saying a word to Gerard but he turned around as he saw Gerard was heading to the bathroom.

“Mikey’s there” he informed.

Gerard looked at him. “did Mikey come home?”

Frank nodded. “yeah he did, but don’t worry, he ran to the bathroom as soon as he came so I don’t think he knows you were not home while he wasn’t here.”

Gerard sighed, looking at Frank up and down for some reason and not saying anything, got away from the bathroom, looking at the TV with nothing on his face and not even hiding how he didn’t care about the fact that many people had been found dead. Frank went upstairs to put a shirt on and when he went down, Mikey had already come out and was talking to Gerard.

“lol, did you pee in your pants?” Frank asked still laughing when his eyes laid on Mikey, “or did you come on time?”

Mikey rolled his eyes. “shut up” he muttered and gave Frank a serious look. “was Gerard here when I came?” he asked then to Frank and stared at him consistently.

Frank, not even looking at Gerard of course said what he had to say and what needed to be said. “yeah” he nodded. “he was home when I woke up, he hadn’t gone anywhere, he was home all the time, he was laying because of his wound the whole time”

Mikey narrowed his eyes. “you sure?”

“absolutely, my friend” Frank smiled. “you know me and your brother don’t have such a good relationship so why should I want to defend him?” he raised his eyebrows and patted on Mikey’s arm. “stop worrying you bastard and trust your brother”

Mikey was quiet for a second and then looked at Gerard. “okay, I’m sorry Gee for doubting you, I just, you know? I worry about you, that’s all” he smiled, Frank didn’t know whether Gerard felt guilty for what he just did or not but it pretty much seemed he didn’t.

Mikey and Gerard talked about something for a while but then Gerard went upstairs and Frank and Mikey were left alone. Ray had told Mikey how to take care of Gerard’s wound, when to change bandages and stuff but Gerard was not letting anyone touch him, he said he had already done it by himself. it was kind of weird, well, Bob and Matt had gone home and that saved them from Frank’s screaming, he didn’t know whether to tell his nightmare to Mikey or not, maybe he should. Maybe if he told someone about his problems it wouldn’t worry him that much? At the end, his problems were only his and no one could help him get through it.

“you know what I don’t understand?” Mikey asked as soon as he heard what Frank saw in his dream. “who is that guy?”

Frank folded. “that’s what I want to know too, I mean, I don’t really understand, it can’t be my father, he’s not that young”

Mikey thought for a moment. “maybe you’re just making it harder Frank” he said. “maybe you’re just making a big deal out of nothing, don’t you think that?”

Frank’s eyebrows shot up. “what?” he asked. “do you seriously say that? Really Mikey? I’m not, okay? I’m fucking not, it’s a big deal, freakin big, it’s huge, far bigger than any one of us! I feel it, you know I never say anything I’m not sure is true.!”

Mikey raised his hands as an excuse. “okay, okay” ne nodded. “I understand, just don’t scream okay? I know it’s a big deal now, but maybe you should just wait, it’s just a matter of time, after a week you won’t even remember about that”

Frank rolled his eyes. “one fucking month and some more weeks passed after I saw first one, why haven’t I forgotten that?”

Mikey took a deep breath. “because you don’t want to move on”

Frank gave an exasperated laugh. “you think I’m crazy? How is this Mikey that you don’t believe what I say? It’s never been like that, I’ve always thought you understood me best, is this what you do when I tell you my worries?”

“No” Mikey shook his head. “of course not, but this is silly Frank, don’t you remember? We laughed at Bob when he said he talked to his neighbor about his dreams”

“that was different,” Frank refused to agree with Mikey. “that’s why my nightmare worries me, because this is different, this is fucking sick, I shouldn’t be seeing them!”

Mikey smiled under his breath, he couldn’t believe his ears, he couldn’t believe that a fucking nightmare, a freaking dream scared Frank this much. What the fuck was up with people those days? He decided not to say anything because his decision would make Frank angrier but he was staring at Mikey, waiting for an answer and Mikey sighed. “you’re watching too much horror” he said.

A disappointed look covered Frank’s face and he banged his head against the back of the chair, “I feel like…” he stopped. “I feel like someone’s gonna die” he said those words clearly and loudly enough for Gerard, who just came into the kitchen to hear it. He had to be talking on the phone because he put his mobile in his pocket when he came in. Mikey smiled at him, he and Gerard exchanged looks and Frank didn’t know what it meant, he just looked down, talking about his worries was over.

“what is your friend worried about?” Gerard asked suddenly and rest against the table, looking at Mikey. ‘your friend’ that kind of hit Frank, Gerard clearly didn’t consider him as his friend.

“it’s nothing, just a nightmare” Mikey waved off and smiled, Frank looked at him, disappointed and discouraged.

“it’s not just a nightmare,  I feel like something has to fucking happen!”

Gerard shook his head. “nightmares aren’t something you should talk about so easily” he said, surprising Frank and Frank looked up at him, rubbing his jaw.

Mikey opened his mouth to say something but Gerard cut him off. “dreams are a part of your brain, a part of imagination, which shouldn’t be ignored”

“that’s what I’m saying” Frank started, even more confident now that someone took his side. “it’s different, I’ve seen many nightmares before but they were different, in his case I feel it, it’s like the reality, like something that’s totally going to happen to me and I’m like, so fucking scared.”

“when did you see the nightmare?” Gerard asked, raising his eyebrows and ignoring Mikey’s looks. Mikey’s totally thinking that his brother’s as insane as me, Frank thought to himself or… I’m as insane as him.

“yesterday” he replied quietly.

Gerard thought for a moment. “that’s why you were sweaty, isn’t it?”

Frank kind of smiled. “yeah, my heart nearly stopped when I woke up, I just wished I would have really died”

“so, did you die in your nightmare?” Gerard asked. “or what does that ‘really’ mean in your sentence?”

Frank took a deep breath, he had to remember about his nightmare and he had to tell what he really saw, “yes, I died, I was in an insane asylum and some white fucking smoked guy shot me”

Gerard shot up. “wait, wait, wait, who?” he asked and stared into Frank’s eyes instantly.

Frank folded. “um, a guy, I couldn’t see his face cause he was surrounded by a white smoke.”

Gerard nodded, it was obvious this guy reminded him of something but despite of saying anything, he just kept being quiet and went into deep thoughts. Frank kept staring at him at first, just like Mikey but Gerard didn’t seem to care, he was trying to focus and remember something.

“you know?” he asked finally,  Frank saw how he narrowed his eyes. “have you seen this kind of dream before?”

Frank nodded. “yes, like 2 months ago”

“okay” Gerard replied, “wait for me here” he said and went out of the kitchen, there was a voice of someone going upstairs so Frank knew Gerard was heading to his room.

“I swear to god, you both are fucking insane” that was Mikey, he took a deep breath and stood up. “insane, fucking insane” he repeated again, not looking away from Frank.

Frank rolled his eyes. “I’m not insane, maybe he is, but I’m not” he laughed.

“he is, and you’re too” Mikey replied, raising his eyebrows and he took his phone. “I gotta call Bob,”

“yeah, tell that fucker im so fucking angry he didn’t wake me up and left me there with  my freaking nightmare” Frank bitched and put his hands on the table, crossing them and waiting for Gerard carefully.

Mikey made a noise with his mouth which he usually did when he was bored or annoyed and Frank knew he had to stop talking about his dream. “how’s James anyway?” Mikey asked suddenly, he was waiting for Bob to answer.

Frank folded. “he’s okay, he’s at work”

“god, I really wish I was as hard-working as your father Frank” Mikey laughed. “and I wish you were- oh hey Bob” Mikey stopped talking to Frank and started walking back and forth in the room, that’s what he usually did when he was talking on the phone. Frank couldn’t hear what they were talking about, or rather, he didn’t care, he was thinking about something else and then Gerard came into the room with a huge book in his hands, Frank widened his eyes.

“what’s that?” he asked and Mikey looked at their direction, frowning as he saw the book in Gerard’s hands.

Gerard put the book on the table and pointed Frank to the title. “you see this?” he asked, “that’s the book about nightmares”

Frank frowned.  “nightmares?” he took the book and looked at it carefully,

“yes” Gerard nodded. “I know what you’re seeing, well, I got it, you say your nightmares are different, so yeah, this book will help you figure out everything”

Frank thought for a moment, looking through pages. “okay” he nodded.  “well, I was always lazy about reading thick and long books like this but yeah, I’ll have to” he laughed.

Gerard shook his head. “I don’t know, I gave you the book, the rest is depended on you, I want that book back in two weeks.”

Frank widened his eyes. “two weeks?” he asked. “no, I can’t read it in two weeks, that’s not enough”

Gerard gave Frank a look. “okay, give me back then” and he pointed Frank to give his book back.

“oh, no no” Frank shook his head wildly and hugged the book tightly as if Gerard was going to force him to give. “no, forget it, it’s enough, thanks”

Gerard took a deep breath, nodding. At that time, Mikey finished talking to Bob and came closer to them, giving both, Frank and Gerard, a look which was saying he was lazy to ask a question so they had to explain what the fuck Gerard just brought.

“it’s a book” Frank replied when he saw no words were going to come out of Gerard’s mouth. “about nightmares”

Mikey rolled his eyes. “I should’ve known he’d bring nothing that makes sense or is close to making sense.”

Gerard looked at him carefully, narrowing his eyes. “this does make sense, it just needs a clever person to read and understand”

Frank thought for a moment and then raised his eyebrows at Mikey, giving a look that meant, see? He thinks im clever enough to understand. Mikey shrugged. “if Gerard gave you that book, he would’ve totally limited your time,”

“yeah he did” Frank nodded. “two weeks, I don’t know how I’m going to read this in two weeks but yeah, it’s pretty thick”

“it’s okay” Mikey yawned, he obviously didn’t sleep last night. “you can take thick things easily, can’t you?” but then stopped immediately because he got how dirty what he just said sounded.

Frank narrowed his eyes, shooting Mikey, who covered his mouth with both of his hands, a look. “you’re such a fucktard”  he uttered and shook his head, muttering something which Mikey couldn’t hear, and both of them had to look at Gerard immediately cause Gerard started laughing too loudly right then.

Frank raised his eyebrows at Mikey, who just shrugged.

“a fucktard?” Gerard asked finally, still laughing. “what the fuck does it mean?”

Frank smiled, when Gerard was laughing he was covering his mouth with his both hands, he didn’t know why, maybe he had that kind of habit but fuck that, he was so nice and… and beautiful, he was like someone who was shy when in fact it was opposite, this movement wasn’t matching with his character at all but it was adorable, so fucking adorable and Frank forgot he had to answer, he was so much into looking at laughing Gerard, but then Mikey coughed and Frank looked away as soon as he did that. He cleared his throat and started talking all in serious voice. “a fucktard” he started. “lol, that’s mixture of a fucker and a bastard, I call fucktard a person who is a fucker and a bastard at the same time so you shouldn’t really be smiling right now Mikey cause I called you that” he laughed and rest against the back of the chair. Mikey narrowed his eyes and pointed his middle finger at Frank.

Gerard had finally stopped laughing. He crossed his arms over his chest. “a fucktard,” he whispered to himself, shaking his head and laughed a little again, “interesting”


End file.
